What do you call it when you hit a rude teenager with a pack of cracker?

Assaulting a salty teen with saltines

My dad just told me this one- hope you guys liked it πŸ’–

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πŸ“…︎ Jan 10 2021
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The Vietnamese restaurant was very rude about the long line they had tonight...

...it was a big Phở queue.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mallthus2
πŸ“…︎ Jan 09 2021
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You should never be rude, you should always

https://preview.redd.it/w9td0w91wm061.png?width=1152&format=png&auto=webp&s=78444790f64e65158842c3f2397aec8ba5f3a2aa

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/aidanexe
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2020
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The first step to not be rude?

Don’t stair.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SugarCookieBear
πŸ“…︎ Dec 11 2020
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What did a hen say to a rude rooster?
  • Be a little less COCKy.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/doom_dodo
πŸ“…︎ Dec 19 2020
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What do you call a rude game bird?

A jerky Turkey!

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Marine1992
πŸ“…︎ Nov 23 2020
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What do you call a guy who comes across a bit rude and abrupt?

Kurt.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/drozzi007
πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2020
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What do you call a rude car?

A gashole.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mndaver24
πŸ“…︎ Nov 02 2020
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I just saw a cashier scan the eyes of a rude customer with her barcode reader.

The look on his face was priceless.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Aug 18 2020
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People are always telling me that β€œmean” and β€œrude” have the same definitions. So I ask them,

β€œWhat do you rude?”

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ“…︎ Sep 09 2020
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Ever since I've needed a wheelchair, my wife has been so rude...

She's been pushing me around and talking behind my back

πŸ‘︎ 55
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…︎ Jul 23 2020
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Why shouldn't you be rude to boundary robbers?

They may take a fence.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/drozzi007
πŸ“…︎ Sep 26 2020
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I asked the chef for butter for my naan and he gave me regular old butter. I went back and said, "hey, I may not look Indian, but I really wanted ghee." He told me rather rudely, "Well, next time you should clarify that."

I told him, "well, this time, you should."

πŸ‘︎ 22
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πŸ‘€︎ u/OK_Compooper
πŸ“…︎ Jul 10 2020
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Rude dude, crude dude.
πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/recoro06
πŸ“…︎ Dec 05 2019
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I always buy my weapons from a guy called T-Rex.

He's a small arms dealer

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Telusion
πŸ“…︎ Jan 15 2021
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I just had a guy throw milk at me

How dairy ?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2020
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My yacht passenger was rude to me when he gruffly asked "how will we embark upon our trip?"

So I told him to shove off.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Jul 20 2020
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This guy very rudely asked me for directions...

I told him where to go and how to get there.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BupSpoi
πŸ“…︎ Jul 05 2020
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My twin brother was being rude to our mother on the phone, so I pushed him out of the window...

Now I am being charged with making an "obscene clone fall"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Costoffreedom
πŸ“…︎ Apr 23 2020
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How do you tell a communist to stop being rude?

Cease the means.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/trevpidation
πŸ“…︎ May 13 2020
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How rude. I went to the Red Cross to donate blood.

They threw me out and said "We don't want your type here!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheLe99
πŸ“…︎ Feb 26 2020
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I met this rude rich guy who wouldn’t stop talking about his mansions.

He’s got some bad manors.

πŸ‘︎ 35
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FinalCaveat
πŸ“…︎ Mar 27 2020
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Why is it rude to fart in church?

Because of everyone else that has to sit in your pew.

πŸ‘︎ 52
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DanOfAllTrades80
πŸ“…︎ Jan 25 2020
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You’re being berry rude
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Siekmeng
πŸ“…︎ Sep 28 2019
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What's the difference between a peeping tom and somebody getting out of a bath?

One is rude and nosy, the other is nude and rosy.

πŸ‘︎ 39
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RockyCrayon6625
πŸ“…︎ Dec 05 2020
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I saw a horizontal line being rude to me.

I said, β€œYou’ve got some latitude.”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kernel_panic_guys
πŸ“…︎ Aug 14 2019
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What did the east side of the globe say to the rude north side

Hey, watch your latitude!

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AHotPocket3141
πŸ“…︎ Sep 10 2019
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A Blueberry asked a strawberry to fuck off

That was berry rude of him

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/geraldoopedreiro
πŸ“…︎ Jan 08 2021
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Don't expect good manners from a rude Frenchman.

They show no merci.

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FinalCaveat
πŸ“…︎ Oct 10 2019
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Why are pea eaters rude to noisy people?

They want their peas and quiet.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ“…︎ Oct 25 2019
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The Rude Parrot

A young man named John received a parrot as a gift. The parrot had a bad attitude and an even worse vocabulary. Every word out of the bird’s mouth was rude, obnoxious and laced with profanity. John tried and tried to change the bird’s attitude by consistently saying only polite words, playing soft music and anything else he could think of to clean up the bird’s vocabulary. Finally, John was fed up and he yelled at the parrot. The parrot yelled back. John shook the parrot and the parrot got angrier and even more rude. John, in desperation, threw up his hands, grabbed the bird and put him in the freezer. For a few minutes the parrot squawked and kicked and screamed. Then suddenly there was total quiet. Not a peep was heard for over a minute. Fearing that he’d hurt the parrot, John quickly opened the door to the freezer. The parrot calmly stepped out onto John’s outstretched arms and said β€œI believe I may have offended you with my rude language and actions. I’m sincerely remorseful for my inappropriate transgressions and I fully intend to do everything I can to correct my rude and unforgivable behavior.” John was stunned at the change in the bird’s attitude. As he was about to ask the parrot what had made such a dramatic change in his behavior, the bird spoke up, and asked very softly : β€œMay I ask what the turkey did?”


I'd like to thank my friend John for sending me this dumb joke

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πŸ‘€︎ u/fred1840
πŸ“…︎ Sep 10 2019
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What do a rude Frenchman and a ruthless Englishman have in common?

No merci.

Sorry for the double post. Thought of a better wording.

πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/alligatorblowgun
πŸ“…︎ Feb 10 2017
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A German was rude to me today

So I said to him, "aren't you a saurkraut".

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CauseFilth
πŸ“…︎ May 13 2019
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Is it rude to go up to someone with an eyepatch and say

"Was it all fun and games up until that point?"

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kickypie
πŸ“…︎ Jul 30 2019
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The word β€œdiputseromneve” may look ridiculous...

But backwards it’s even more stupid...

πŸ‘︎ 552
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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ May 29 2020
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What do you call a rude statistician?

A meanie

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bcmwolverine
πŸ“…︎ Jun 09 2019
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What do you call a rude pit?

Ahole

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Grillsteakr
πŸ“…︎ Jul 27 2019
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For his birthday, I got my son an alarm clock that swears at him instead of ringing.

He is in for a rude awakening.

πŸ‘︎ 36
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Nov 20 2020
🚨︎ report
I ran out of my Omega 3 supplement so I went to the store. The attendant was rude and threw the bottle at me as hard as he could

Fortunately, my injuries were super fish oil

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Chateau512
πŸ“…︎ Jun 13 2019
🚨︎ report
You're being berry rude
πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Berserkkiller
πŸ“…︎ Jan 10 2019
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My alcohol is rude towards me

It's a mean spirit

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CombustibleDoge
πŸ“…︎ May 07 2019
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Why was the sponge so rude?

Because it was so self-absorbed!

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/andye2801
πŸ“…︎ May 19 2019
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What do you call a rude cow?

Beef jerky

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/42jax
πŸ“…︎ Mar 19 2019
🚨︎ report
My proctologist is so rude

yesterday, he gave me the finger

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mabelm13
πŸ“…︎ Apr 10 2019
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What did the rude potato become when it grew up?

A dictator

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/OutlawQuill
πŸ“…︎ May 06 2019
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Santa's reindeer don't roast each other... they have rude-offs

If you don't get it, sleigh it out loud.

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/patentpunk
πŸ“…︎ Mar 03 2019
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I just saw a cashier scan the eyes of a rude customer with her barcode reader.

The look on his face was priceless.

πŸ‘︎ 15k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Sep 10 2019
🚨︎ report
I just saw a cashier scan the eyes of a rude customer with her barcode reader.

The look on his face was priceless.

πŸ‘︎ 463
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ May 29 2019
🚨︎ report
Why is the word "you" rude

It's vowel language

πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Gandi_Olfston
πŸ“…︎ Feb 08 2016
🚨︎ report

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