What do you call it when you hit a rude teenager with a pack of cracker?
Assaulting a salty teen with saltines
My dad just told me this one- hope you guys liked it π
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︎ Jan 10 2021
The Vietnamese restaurant was very rude about the long line they had tonight...
...it was a big Phα» queue.
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︎ Jan 09 2021
You should never be rude, you should always
https://preview.redd.it/w9td0w91wm061.png?width=1152&format=png&auto=webp&s=78444790f64e65158842c3f2397aec8ba5f3a2aa
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︎ Nov 21 2020
The first step to not be rude?
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︎ Dec 11 2020
What did a hen say to a rude rooster?
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︎ Dec 19 2020
What do you call a rude game bird?
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︎ Nov 23 2020
What do you call a guy who comes across a bit rude and abrupt?
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︎ Nov 25 2020
What do you call a rude car?
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︎ Nov 02 2020
I just saw a cashier scan the eyes of a rude customer with her barcode reader.
The look on his face was priceless.
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︎ Aug 18 2020
People are always telling me that βmeanβ and βrudeβ have the same definitions. So I ask them,
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︎ Sep 09 2020
Ever since I've needed a wheelchair, my wife has been so rude...
She's been pushing me around and talking behind my back
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︎ Jul 23 2020
Why shouldn't you be rude to boundary robbers?
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︎ Sep 26 2020
I asked the chef for butter for my naan and he gave me regular old butter. I went back and said, "hey, I may not look Indian, but I really wanted ghee." He told me rather rudely, "Well, next time you should clarify that."
I told him, "well, this time, you should."
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︎ Jul 10 2020
Rude dude, crude dude.
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︎ Dec 05 2019
I always buy my weapons from a guy called T-Rex.
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︎ Jan 15 2021
I just had a guy throw milk at me
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︎ Dec 24 2020
My yacht passenger was rude to me when he gruffly asked "how will we embark upon our trip?"
So I told him to shove off.
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︎ Jul 20 2020
This guy very rudely asked me for directions...
I told him where to go and how to get there.
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︎ Jul 05 2020
My twin brother was being rude to our mother on the phone, so I pushed him out of the window...
Now I am being charged with making an "obscene clone fall"
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︎ Apr 23 2020
How do you tell a communist to stop being rude?
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︎ May 13 2020
How rude. I went to the Red Cross to donate blood.
They threw me out and said "We don't want your type here!"
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︎ Feb 26 2020
I met this rude rich guy who wouldnβt stop talking about his mansions.
Heβs got some bad manors.
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︎ Mar 27 2020
Why is it rude to fart in church?
Because of everyone else that has to sit in your pew.
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︎ Jan 25 2020
Youβre being berry rude
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︎ Sep 28 2019
What's the difference between a peeping tom and somebody getting out of a bath?
One is rude and nosy, the other is nude and rosy.
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︎ Dec 05 2020
I saw a horizontal line being rude to me.
I said, βYouβve got some latitude.β
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︎ Aug 14 2019
What did the east side of the globe say to the rude north side
Hey, watch your latitude!
π︎ 5
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︎ Sep 10 2019
A Blueberry asked a strawberry to fuck off
That was berry rude of him
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︎ Jan 08 2021
Don't expect good manners from a rude Frenchman.
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︎ Oct 10 2019
Why are pea eaters rude to noisy people?
They want their peas and quiet.
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︎ Oct 25 2019
The Rude Parrot
A young man named John received a parrot as a gift.
The parrot had a bad attitude and an even worse vocabulary.
Every word out of the birdβs mouth was rude, obnoxious and laced with profanity.
John tried and tried to change the birdβs attitude by consistently saying only polite words, playing soft music and anything else he could think of to clean up the birdβs vocabulary.
Finally, John was fed up and he yelled at the parrot.
The parrot yelled back.
John shook the parrot and the parrot got angrier and even more rude.
John, in desperation, threw up his hands, grabbed the bird and put him in the freezer.
For a few minutes the parrot squawked and kicked and screamed.
Then suddenly there was total quiet.
Not a peep was heard for over a minute.
Fearing that heβd hurt the parrot, John quickly opened the door to the freezer.
The parrot calmly stepped out onto Johnβs outstretched arms and said
βI believe I may have offended you with my rude language and actions. Iβm sincerely remorseful for my inappropriate transgressions and I fully intend to do everything I can to correct my rude and unforgivable behavior.β
John was stunned at the change in the birdβs attitude.
As he was about to ask the parrot what had made such a dramatic change in his behavior, the bird spoke up, and asked very softly :
βMay I ask what the turkey did?β
I'd like to thank my friend John for sending me this dumb joke
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︎ Sep 10 2019
What do a rude Frenchman and a ruthless Englishman have in common?
No merci.
Sorry for the double post. Thought of a better wording.
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︎ Feb 10 2017
A German was rude to me today
So I said to him, "aren't you a saurkraut".
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︎ May 13 2019
Is it rude to go up to someone with an eyepatch and say
"Was it all fun and games up until that point?"
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︎ Jul 30 2019
The word βdiputseromneveβ may look ridiculous...
But backwards itβs even more stupid...
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︎ May 29 2020
What do you call a rude statistician?
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︎ Jun 09 2019
What do you call a rude pit?
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︎ Jul 27 2019
For his birthday, I got my son an alarm clock that swears at him instead of ringing.
He is in for a rude awakening.
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︎ Nov 20 2020
I ran out of my Omega 3 supplement so I went to the store. The attendant was rude and threw the bottle at me as hard as he could
Fortunately, my injuries were super fish oil
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︎ Jun 13 2019
You're being berry rude
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︎ Jan 10 2019
My alcohol is rude towards me
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︎ May 07 2019
Why was the sponge so rude?
Because it was so self-absorbed!
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︎ May 19 2019
What do you call a rude cow?
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︎ Mar 19 2019
My proctologist is so rude
yesterday, he gave me the finger
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︎ Apr 10 2019
What did the rude potato become when it grew up?
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︎ May 06 2019
Santa's reindeer don't roast each other... they have rude-offs
If you don't get it, sleigh it out loud.
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︎ Mar 03 2019
I just saw a cashier scan the eyes of a rude customer with her barcode reader.
The look on his face was priceless.
π︎ 15k
π
︎ Sep 10 2019
I just saw a cashier scan the eyes of a rude customer with her barcode reader.
The look on his face was priceless.
π︎ 463
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︎ May 29 2019
Why is the word "you" rude
π︎ 2k
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︎ Feb 08 2016
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