Watching Rogue One with my 8 year old on Father’s Day

When Vader is force choking Orson Krennic and says, β€œDon’t choke on your ambitions.”

My son looked at my and said, β€œHa Ha! Dad joke!”

So proud.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BockBock2000
πŸ“…︎ Jun 22 2020
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Why do rogues wear leather armor?

Because it's made of hide.

πŸ‘︎ 37
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πŸ‘€︎ u/28Hz
πŸ“…︎ Feb 01 2020
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What's the difference between a Monk and a Rogue?

A Rogue will pick the lock. A Monk will just use their Ki.

πŸ‘︎ 52
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ocbrad
πŸ“…︎ Feb 01 2019
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A rogue in labour was shouting: Can't! Can't! Can't!

Her husband: Doctor, is that...thieves cant? Doctor: No, those are contractions.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DandyBeyond
πŸ“…︎ Apr 08 2019
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What instruments should be featured in a rogue AI's music band?

Just Harmonika

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TatsumakiRonyk
πŸ“…︎ Apr 11 2018
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Next in the Bourne series: Jason goes rogue and captures Benjamin Netanyahu, and declares himself permanent ruler.

Don’t miss β€œBourne is the King of Israel”

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ“…︎ Jul 09 2018
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They've Gone Rogue!

Said this just now to my wife as she'd been saying this SUV is driving crazy next to us, they passed us and it was a black Nissan Rogue.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/QSquared
πŸ“…︎ Aug 12 2017
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In Rogue One, When Vader tells Krennic "Don't choke on your aspirations"

It's actually a double pun and enters the realm of dad quality

πŸ‘︎ 23
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bryguy894
πŸ“…︎ Jul 25 2017
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My friend keeps telling me to stop making Rogue One puns.

She's told me that like 10 Erso times.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jon-Osterman
πŸ“…︎ Jul 19 2017
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[Rogue One Spoilers] Why was Darth Vader....

Why was Darth Vader so angry at Director Krennic?

...because he wanted to go bacta sleep.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/WintersbaneGDX
πŸ“…︎ Dec 22 2016
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I working on "Warcraft - The Musical". The songs write themselves.
  • My horde will go on
  • Alliance sleeps tonight
  • A horde day's night
πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ“…︎ Aug 22 2020
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I was sailing my boat when a massive hand rose out of the water and then slowly disappeared...

I thought, 'That's the biggest wave I've ever seen!'

πŸ‘︎ 21
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cotswoldboy
πŸ“…︎ Oct 20 2019
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I wanted to see the new Star Wars movie today, but every showing was sold out

Rogue one, me zero.

πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/theghostofme
πŸ“…︎ Dec 22 2016
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The Pirate (Long)

A pirate walks into bar and sits down. The bartender notices that he has a peg leg, a hook for a hand, and a patch over one eye. The pirate orders a beer, and while he's pouring it the bartender asks "So what's the story with the leg?" "Well it were many a year ago," says the pirate. "I were walkin on the deck a me ship and a rogue wave swept me overboard, and a shark swum up and bit me leg clean off! I swum ashore and were fitted fer a peg leg that very night." "That's terrible," says the bartender. "What about the hand?" "Well it were the very next day," says the pirate. "I were walkin on the deck a me ship and a rogue wave swept me overboard again, and a whale came up and bit me hand clean off! I swum ashore and were fitted fer a hook that very night." "Wow," says the bartender. "So what about the eye?" "Well it were the very next day," says the pirate. "I were walkin on the deck a me ship, and I were lookin out fer rogue waves, and a seagull flew over and shit right in me eye!" "Oh man," says the bartender. "And that blinded you?" "Well no," says the pirate. "But it were me first day with the hook."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/flyingfrig
πŸ“…︎ Feb 08 2020
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Attention Punners

I am a representative from the r/PunPatrol and we have been seeing some of our officers have been arrested individuals on this server where in a peace treaty we have allowed Puns in this subreddit. We apologise for these rogue officers and have reported them to r/PunInternalAffairs . Thanks for understanding.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/AWESOMEDUDE0614
πŸ“…︎ Mar 04 2019
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What's Michael Jackson's favorite beer......?

.......Thriller Lite.

πŸ‘︎ 40
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ultra-saurus
πŸ“…︎ Dec 17 2014
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Mom to Dad: Please bring the mayo, but check if it hasn't gone bad

Dad looking for mayo: I think its gone rogue

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Juris_B
πŸ“…︎ Jun 26 2019
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We had a dad joke competition in the car...

Son: β€œwhat kind of bear never gets hot?” ... Son: β€œ-a kool..alla β€œ

Daughter: β€œwhat do you call a witch you’ve never met?” ... Daughter: β€œhermione stranger”

Wife: β€œwhat do you call a squishy collection of domiciles?” ... Wife: β€œmush room”

Daughter: β€œwhat do you call a Canadian cow?” ... Daughter: β€œmoooooose”

Me: β€œwhat beverage do you get when you remove a baby cow from its Mom?” ... Me: β€œdecalf”

I also submitted my joke about the earthquake, like a letter gone international (it’s in another post) or a wayward string gone rogue (in another thread)

I have the best family.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/onejdc
πŸ“…︎ May 15 2018
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I have 3 pairs of Star Wars socks, each pair is missing one sock.

Each pair of Star Wars socks has a Rogue One.

πŸ‘︎ 23
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πŸ“…︎ Jul 11 2018
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I was caught smuggling a taco into the new star wars movie...

...they now call me Rogue Juan

πŸ‘︎ 74
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πŸ‘€︎ u/megadoomclops
πŸ“…︎ Dec 19 2016
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While settling Canada...

One of the French outposts refused to cooperate with the others.

It was the rogue fort.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/GregoryTheBlack
πŸ“…︎ Jul 03 2018
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I heard that they are making a Star Wars movie with an Hispanic cast.

Rogue Juan

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bobbymack44212
πŸ“…︎ Jan 23 2017
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We live in a world where there are 7 Star Wars movies that have opening crawl.

Then there is a Rogue One.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Joncort95
πŸ“…︎ Jan 03 2017
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Did you hear that there were two competing titles for the new Star Wars movie?

Rogue Won.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/impulsive-ideas
πŸ“…︎ Dec 07 2016
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Why do I think of Star Wars when using the restroom...

because I usually fire off a rogue one and hit the seat.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RazzMaDazzle
πŸ“…︎ Aug 26 2016
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Daughter was given an X-Men figure

Daughter: pseudo-complaining that she keeps getting requests to see it, "everyone keeps taking her."

Me: "Are you saying she's gone Rogue?"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/resonantSoul
πŸ“…︎ Sep 26 2014
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Why do rogues like leather armor?

Because it's made of hide.

πŸ‘︎ 78
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LungBubbles
πŸ“…︎ Apr 25 2017
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Darth Vader's dad joke from Rogue One [Spoilers]

While force choking Krennic, Vader says: "Don’t choke on your own ambition”

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/frogspyer
πŸ“…︎ Dec 18 2016
🚨︎ report

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