I retorted, "Well son, I guess you could say that I'm just deaf defying!"
I was distracted by the thought of ripping them apart so when the waiter asked what side I wanted, I didn't know what to say, I didn't want to seem stupid so I said the right side. Everyone laughed and I realized he meant a side dish. Everyone thought I was joking because I was just showing off r/dadjokes.
He made no bones about it.
Me: “Are you sure you can spare one?”
She said, "I'm afraid not, the steaks are too high."
I'm not sure, but the steaks are high.
The waitress said she was very sorry, but that wasn't possible
Great customer cervix.
She's going for the ribs.
I might try a duck.
Reboot, reboot, reboot,...
Because he had no guts
me: hey love is this outfit inn appropriate
girlfriend: no
me: ok I guess I'll go change
Because they don't have a single funny bone in them. Except in the arm. That's humerus
The sergeant hands him a stick and gestures to the training field.
"You'll have to use this, soldier. If you need to shoot someone, just aim your stick at them and shout 'Bangity bang-bang'. If someone gets too close to you, poke them in the gut with it as though it was a bayonette and shout 'Stabbity stab-stab'. Now get moving."
The soldier thinks this is pretty ridiculous, but to his surprise, when he aims his stick at a fellow trainee across the field and shouts "Bangity bang-bang!" the other soldier goes down in a theatrical display. Then, another trainee tries to run past him, so he pokes the guy in the ribs and shouts "Stabbity stab-stab!" and he too goes down, pretending to be dead.
So, the soldier starts running through the mock-battlefield, shouting "Bangity bang-bang" and occasionally "Stabbity-stab-stab", until eventually he realizes he's the last man standing.
He's feeling pretty proud of himself until another soldier rounds a corner and starts walking toward him. Slowly. Stiffly. Menacingly.
The soldier takes aim with his stick and shouts, "Bangity-bang-bang!"
But the other soldier doesn't go down this time. He keeps approaching, arms stiff at his sides, boots stomping aggressively into the ground.
The soldier begins to sweat. He clears his throat, adjusts grip on his stick and hollers, "Bangity bang-bang!"
But nothing happens. The other soldier keeps marching toward him.
Now the soldier panics. He pretends to reload his stick and desperately cries out, "Bangity bang-bang! Bangity bang-bang! Stabbity stab-stab!"
But to his dismay, nothing works.
Finally, the other soldier reaches him, kicks him in the shin and knocks him onto the ground.
He stands over the fallen soldier and says:
"Tankity tank-tank."
I want my baby back, baby back, baby back.
Great woman, terrible surgeon.
Because nothing can get under their skin!
Turns out he’s part Irish, part British, and a tad Pole.
Amazon Prime day is on the 21st. I personally would not partake of Prime day unless it were on the 2nd, 3rd, 5th, 7th, 11th, 13th, 17th, 19th, 23rd, 29th, or 31st
A woman walked into the kitchen one day and saw, much to her horror, her husband sitting at the table with blood all over most of his face, his chest, hands, arm, and on the table. She watched for a moment, shocked, as he began pouring barbeque sauce on his arm where most of the blood was coming from.
"Stop that! What are you doing!? What happened to your arm?!" She finally managed to scream as she unjammed all the words trying to flow out at once.
Her husband looked at her with a disgusted frown and a shake of his head and replied "I've made a terrible me-steak"
Prime ribs for everyone involved.
And why do they think I’d have a supply of moist owlets, anyways?
At the grocery store with my wife and we walk past the meat counter.....
Me: Oh these ribs must be the extras!
My Wife: Huh? What are you talking about?
Me: The package says they are Spare Ribs.
My Wife: Oh geez, you really need to stop.
I'm a steak-holder.
It couldn't take a normal ribbing.
When you eat it in a so-fish-ticated restaurant
He said, “What’s a skeleton’s favourite meal?”
I wasn’t in the mood with my cracked ankle, and told him “I dunno.”
His response: “Spare ribs!”
I threw a pillow at him as he ran off laughing.
When something tickles their "funny bone".
It’s pane steaking
I received a few jabs in the ribs for that one.
P.s. We aren't expecting, just being sickly.
I like them both i am bisnacksual
Because they are made out of pastry.
Spare ribs 😁
What is a skeletons favorite food
Ribs
It's indivisible!
A bunch of comedians gather together for a conference. The festivities start off with the usual dinner meet-and-greet. One comedian says to the other, "Hey, is this the line for the prime rib?" The other says, "No, that line is over there. This is the punchline."
They use the key.
The waitress said she was very sorry, but that wasn't possible.
