My child just learned the alphabet but will only recognize 25 letters
π︎ 624
π
︎ Dec 21 2022
Why did the Star Wars movies came out in the order 4, 5, 6, 1, 2, 3β¦?
Because "in charge of scheduling, the Yoda was."
π︎ 7k
π
︎ Nov 07 2022
If Jada Smith doesnβt like jokes about alopecia
π︎ 21k
π
︎ Mar 28 2022
I hung up a steak in my bathroom.
I wanted a meatier shower.
π︎ 127
π
︎ Nov 21 2022
Iβve got a date for tomorrow.
π︎ 41
π
︎ Dec 12 2022
Sugar cane is the sweetest cane, walking cane is the slowest cane. What is the fastest cane?
π︎ 616
π
︎ Sep 30 2022
Why did the plastic surgeon become a stand-up comedian?
He was really good at keeping people in stitches
π︎ 4
π
︎ Nov 21 2022
Once upon a time, there lived a king who was only 12 inches tall. He was a terrible king...
But he made a great ruler.
π︎ 746
π
︎ Oct 08 2022
My parents sent me to a satanist school..
You wouldnβt believe the sacrifices they had to make!
π︎ 31
π
︎ Nov 27 2022
I donβt mean to brag, but my dad basically invented artificial bread.
He made such a great roll model.
π︎ 49
π
︎ Nov 11 2022
So I heard about a tower that's 7 stories tall...
I always thought it was 8 stories but hey that's a whole other story.
π︎ 41
π
︎ Nov 13 2022
Someone has stolen all my window coverings
π︎ 311
π
︎ Oct 02 2022
What do you call a skydiving cow?
π︎ 20
π
︎ Nov 24 2022
I was bullied a lot in school.
To be fair, I was going to matador school.....
π︎ 11
π
︎ Nov 17 2022
What do you call a Mexican that lost his car?
π︎ 3
π
︎ Dec 12 2022
How much does corn cost in Tampa Bay?
π︎ 8
π
︎ Oct 17 2022
Math needs to grow upβ¦
and learn to solve itβs own problems.
π︎ 377
π
︎ Sep 15 2022
Meet my friends that are identical twins..
π︎ 4
π
︎ Oct 21 2022
I named my son Otto
So when he grows up, he will be an Ottoman.
π︎ 16
π
︎ Nov 04 2022
where is the worst place to hide in a hospital?
π︎ 96
π
︎ Oct 10 2022
who is this knight called Cadian?
And why does this Sir's rhythm keep messing with my sleeping schedule?
π︎ 3
π
︎ Nov 21 2022
why did the mushroom like to party?
Because he was a fungi !!
π︎ 3
π
︎ Sep 22 2022
An entire generation of youth will only know Billy Ray Cyrus for the song "Old Town Road"
That breaks my heart, my achy breaky heart.
π︎ 11
π
︎ Nov 07 2022
Used to know a great boomerang joke but can't remember it right now. Oh well...
...I'm sure it'll come back to me.
π︎ 15
π
︎ Sep 03 2022
What's red and looks like a bucket?
A red bucket.
What's blue and looks like a bucket?
A red bucket in disguise.
π︎ 8
π
︎ Nov 22 2022
New York City's government is so incompetent on New Year's Eve.
They always drop the ball.
π︎ 8
π
︎ Nov 26 2022
I just canβt believe this.. Robbers broke into my house, but all they took was my limbo stick.
I mean, how low can you go?
π︎ 174
π
︎ Sep 20 2022
Have you ever considered a career as a commercial airline pilot?
I hear there's plenty of room for upward mobility.
π︎ 8
π
︎ Oct 18 2022
Graveyards never have enough employeesβ¦
They always have a skeleton crew.
π︎ 21
π
︎ Oct 12 2022
I didnβt realize I spilled dish soap on myself
π︎ 28
π
︎ Sep 27 2022
local Community College raised tuition for their art class
That's where I draw the lime
π︎ 2
π
︎ Oct 31 2022
Singing in the shower is fun until you get soap in your mouth.
π︎ 20
π
︎ Oct 05 2022
The longest word in the English language is smiles.
Because thereβs a mile between the two Sβs.
π︎ 18
π
︎ Sep 26 2022
I once knew a guy who lost his job as an elevator operator
He had a hard time learning the route
π︎ 6
π
︎ Oct 02 2022
What berry are the turtles allergic to?
π︎ 4
π
︎ Oct 01 2022
my wife said she didn't want steak from cows anymore...
So I bought us some steak from a bull. Now I'll never make that Miss-Steak again.
π︎ 4
π
︎ Oct 14 2022
Have you heard of the man that raises chickens?
π︎ 8
π
︎ Oct 09 2022
My girlfriend tried to kiss the postman
Iβm glad he wouldnβt letter.
π︎ 20
π
︎ Sep 23 2022
cows playing poker with high steaks
π︎ 8
π
︎ Aug 16 2022
Two guys walked into a bar.
You'd think the first guy would have noticed
π︎ 6
π
︎ Oct 10 2022
What did one eyebrow say to the other eyebrow?
π︎ 19
π
︎ Sep 01 2022
If Wal-Mart is lowering prices every day,
why isn't anything in the store free yet?
π︎ 19
π
︎ Sep 13 2022
A sweater I bought was picking up static electricity. So, I returned it to the store.
They gave me another one free of charge.
π︎ 477
π
︎ Jun 23 2022
What kind of flour do orphans use to bake bread?
π︎ 3
π
︎ Oct 07 2022
My bald friend always looks forward to sunny days.
Thatβsβ¦.his time to shine.
π︎ 27
π
︎ Jun 03 2022
A judge orders Mario to pay $10,000. Mario asks why? The judge says βItβs a fineβ
Mario looks down and replies βNo, itsa notβ
π︎ 273
π
︎ Jul 03 2022
I used to tap dance but I had to stop because
I kept falling into the sink!
π︎ 14
π
︎ Sep 03 2022
My personal trainer just told me I can bulk up without using protein shakes.
π︎ 5
π
︎ Jul 28 2022
Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.
