I hate my math class probability course

What are the odds?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/AceBalistic
πŸ“…︎ Dec 09 2020
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Probability had crush on one girl, but she wasn't the one.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/nicestuffzzcd
πŸ“…︎ Sep 22 2019
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The man who invented the revolving table was probably like:

"This is going to revolutionize tables forever!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tres12321
πŸ“…︎ Apr 16 2021
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Found this on r/funny, so probably a repost
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ReadIt-Reddit-
πŸ“…︎ Feb 25 2021
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A salutary lesson. Posted to r/jokes, probably more Dad-like

Certain related tribes in sub-Saharan Africa often raided each other's villages when most folk were herding animals. Sometimes they would take vegetables and water, but more often taking little things, to gently mock each other. It was all in good fun. After a successful raid, the "winning" tribe would celebrate by dancing under the stars, or in one of their large, grass-covered spirit houses.

One day, the Imaqi took their Satari shaman's sceptre. The following day, the Satari not only stole the sceptre back, but also the Imaqi chief's regalia.

It went back and forth, until, on a rare and daring escapade, three Imaqi warriors stole the Santari chief's throne. They put it on display, above their chief's throne in the spirit house.

The Imaqi thought that this was hilarious, and as it was beginning to rain, made merry and danced in the spirit house. Suddenly, the heavy throne on display fell down and killed a number of the dancing revelers.

The moral should be obvious: those who live in grass houses shouldn't stow thrones.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/this_is_jq
πŸ“…︎ Apr 16 2021
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An old guy goes to the chemist and asks the pharmacist, "Is there some pills that can help with sex?" The pharmacist says, "Yes, Viagra, it's awesome, I take it myself" The old guy asks, "Can you get it over the counter?" Pharmacist replies, "If I took 2 or 3, probably."
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πŸ‘€︎ u/M_Arslan_Tahir
πŸ“…︎ Feb 23 2021
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After this week's bad weather in Texas, there'll probably be a baby boom in nine months.

That snow coincidence.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/engfish
πŸ“…︎ Feb 19 2021
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Halloween is probably one of my more favorite holidays.

Easter and Valentine's Day are a couple other good cand-y-dates.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Venomenace
πŸ“…︎ Mar 05 2021
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Why shouldn't you put more than 239 beans in a soup?

Because adding just one more would make it too farty. Straight from my 7 year old daughter.

Edit: Thank you so much for the awards and upvotes. I showed my daughter how many people saw and appreciated her humor and she's extatic. I know she probably didn't come up with the joke herself but this was one of the first times she really got me with a good one and I thought I'd share it with some fellow dads and others.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/oak05
πŸ“…︎ Apr 13 2021
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I told my wife I was going to accompany her to get her Covid Vaccine, and see if they could do mine as well. She said they probably wouldn't. I replied, "I don't know..."

"It's worth a shot!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheRockingDead
πŸ“…︎ Feb 26 2021
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He probably wasn't bready for it
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πŸ‘€︎ u/The_night_camel
πŸ“…︎ Nov 11 2020
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It probably did ...
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πŸ‘€︎ u/strName
πŸ“…︎ Nov 11 2020
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I probably won't see Wonder Woman 1984 when it comes out.

I still haven't seen Wonder Woman 2 through 1983.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tvkyle
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2020
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My 16 year old son told me I was a simp (probably because I'm looking to get into a new relationship), after I looked up the meaning I told him:

You must be a Simpson then.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/HosfordHusky
πŸ“…︎ Aug 13 2020
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Someone: "If you need 144 rolls of toilet paper for a 14 day quarantine you probably should've been seeing a doctor long before COVID-19"

My response: "144? That's a gross"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jazzywaffles84
πŸ“…︎ Mar 16 2020
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You probably haven’t heard of that new movie, "Constipation"

It hasn’t come out yet.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/professorf
πŸ“…︎ Oct 30 2020
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Just had an officer at the door saying he was looking for a man with one eye...

Told him to use both and he’d probably find him a lot quicker.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/justbeatitTTD
πŸ“…︎ Mar 18 2021
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A priest, a pastor and a rabbit entered a clinic to donate blood. Nurse asked the rabbit what his blood type is

He replied " I am probably a Type O"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tomatosoup91
πŸ“…︎ Mar 18 2021
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A pastor, a priest, and a rabbit walk into a blood bank, and the nurse asks what blood type they are.

The rabbit says, β€œI’m probably a Type-O”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/rmath12
πŸ“…︎ Apr 16 2021
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Operating a solar farm is probably easy

After all, it's a light crop

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RKO-Cutter
πŸ“…︎ Dec 15 2020
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If your name is Foster you're probably an orphan.

Because your parents are Foster parents.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/smakattak
πŸ“…︎ Dec 03 2020
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It probably did
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ImElyk
πŸ“…︎ Apr 18 2020
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A heavily pregnant woman walks into a bar

A heavily pregnant woman walks into a bar in the middle of summer and orders a big glass of ice water. "Boy it's a scorcher out there," she says to the bartender. "Sometimes I wonder if it is too hot for the little guy in here." "Oh I wouldn't worry about it," the bartender replies. "It's probably just womb temperature."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Firegoat1
πŸ“…︎ Apr 12 2021
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Probably the real monster Eminem was talking about
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LBJM18
πŸ“…︎ Jul 08 2020
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When life gives you lemons, make lemonade

When lemons give you life, you probably have scurvy. (Courtesy of my own father)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mahojo12
πŸ“…︎ May 09 2021
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probably a Ford siesta because i like napping while taking a drive
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Banoooooooo
πŸ“…︎ Aug 31 2020
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The doctor told me I probably won’t be able to walk again after getting into an accident with a newspaper delivery truck.

I was crushed by the news.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FinalCaveat
πŸ“…︎ Jul 01 2020
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Your Brain: Woah!

Me: You’re doing it right now.

Your Brain: I probably won’t do that.

Me: You have to read this dad joke backwards for it to make sense.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/OPs_Mom_and_Dad
πŸ“…︎ May 07 2021
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He might have lost this election but he will probably run again in 4 years...

He's just Biden his time

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πŸ‘€︎ u/shdchko
πŸ“…︎ Oct 29 2020
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Probably already here but who cares?
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πŸ“…︎ Apr 21 2020
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A $9.99. Nintendo Switch! If it's too good to be true, it probably is...
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheSonsofAtreus
πŸ“…︎ Aug 12 2020
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A police officer just came to the door and said he was looking for a man with one eye.

I told him he would probably find him faster he used both.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PensionNo8124
πŸ“…︎ May 02 2021
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She probably said, "Let's weight"
πŸ‘︎ 11k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Crypt0sh0t
πŸ“…︎ Mar 06 2019
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Mt oldest is getting to be pretty good at using my own jokes against me when I'm not expecting.

Kid: Hey dad, look at that! (Points with his finger to something off in the distance.)

Me: (Looking in direction he's pointing) What? Where? I don't see anything.

Kid: (Still pointing) Right there, look, you see it?

Me: (Still looking, getting annoyed that I don't see it) WHAT? What is it??

Kid: (Holding up the same finger) It's my finger!

I have been doing this to him recently and it always gets him. I love that he's able to totally get me with it now.

Edit: MY oldest, not Mt oldest. Not sure what the oldest mountain is, but it probably isn't as funny as my oldest kid is becoming.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/flash17k
πŸ“…︎ Apr 09 2021
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What would Marilyn Monroe be doing if she was still alive today?

Probably scratching the inside of her coffin.....

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πŸ‘€︎ u/almac2242
πŸ“…︎ Apr 07 2021
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β€œJust say no to drugs!”

Well if I’m talking to drugs, I’ve probably already said yes.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FoldaHolda
πŸ“…︎ Apr 12 2021
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I have a cow joke for all of you...

You probably haven’t herd of it.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Aku223
πŸ“…︎ Mar 24 2021
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You ever heard the Stormtrooper band?

Probably not, they've never had a hit.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dotFuture
πŸ“…︎ Dec 07 2020
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Well when life gives you melons

You’re probably dyslexic

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ryahisbored
πŸ“…︎ May 09 2021
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It’s probably not safe for me to be driving this car right now.

But hey, bad brakes have never stopped me before.

πŸ‘︎ 9k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Apr 04 2019
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A priest, a pastor and a rabbit walked into a blood donation clinic

The nurse asked the rabbit: "what is your blood type?" "I'm probably a type O" said the rabbit.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tadashi4
πŸ“…︎ May 07 2021
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A priest, a pastor, and a rabbit entered a clinic to donate blood.

The nurse asked the rabbit: "What's your blood type?"

"I'm probably a Type O", said the rabbit.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/professorf
πŸ“…︎ Mar 16 2021
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A priest, a pastor and a rabbit walked in to a blood donation clinic.

The nurse asked the rabbit: "What is your blood type?"

"I am probably a type O" said the rabbit.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mick_NYC
πŸ“…︎ Apr 03 2021
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A priest, a pastor and a rabbit walk in to a doctors office...

...the nurse asks the rabbit, β€œwhat blood type are you?”

The rabbit says, β€œI’m probably a type O.”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kitten-McSnugglet
πŸ“…︎ Mar 23 2021
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