A list of puns related to "Prince George of Greece and Denmark"
But to the recording studios, he was more than that. He was a symbol.
He asked the cashier if she knew how much a Greek urns.
Timmy : I'm Hungary,. Mum : Why don't you Czech the fridge. Timmy : Ok, I'm Russian to the kitchen. Mum : Hmm...maybe you'll find some Turkey. Timmy : Yeah, but its all covered in Greece. Yuck ! Mum : There is Norway you can eat that. Timmy : I know, I guess I'll just have a can of Chile. Mum : Denmark your name on the can. Timmy : Kenya do it for me? Mum : Ok , I'm Ghana do it. Timmy : Thanks, i'm so tired Iran for an hour today. Mum : It Tokyo long enough. Timmy : Yeah, Israelly hard sometimes !
credit: some facebook post i saw.
The Prince of the vultures had always been a rebel, but he surprised everyone when he announced he was going to be a vegetarian. And nobody expected this to divide the vulture kingdom, with nearly half the vultures supporting the Prince's choice. Tempers flared, and civil war was brewing when the Prince burst into the King's chambers.
"Father," he cried, "I never meant to cause this. I'll do anything you say to reunite the kingdom. Please, Father, what should I eat?"
The King set a plate of roadkill in front of the Prince, and said "Carrion, my wayward son. There'll be peace when you are done."
I went online and saw that a nigerian princess wanted to send me millions of dollars. However, I had to send $100 for handling fees on the check. However, I wanted confirmation. So I had her send me a picture. She did. Now, a princess needs a prince right? So I went online and found a picture of an eligible bachelor prince. Some guy from Jordan. I then took the two images, placed them side by side, and had some photoshopped ceremonial garb.
In otherwords, I married the prints. Of course, I took pictures of the happy event and sent them to the "princess" with the caption "I already married the prints." The scammer didn't reply unfortunately.
Iโm about to ask a friend of mine to Prom, and sheโs an exchange student from Denmark. Sheโs also a huge fan of puns.
Thus, Iโve come to the finest community of Reddit in search of a good Denmark pun. Whatโs your best??
This morning, Wife was looking at pictures of my sister on her honeymoon and remarked, "Oh my God, these pictures of Greece are so beautiful."
"Yeah," I replied. "Did you know French Fries were first made there?"
"What?"
"Yup, French Fries were made in Greece."
She did not deign to reply.
Oh MOOgosh. This might just sound like a load of Bull, but please STEER me out.
Deja Moo (Sung to the tune of Fresh Prince of Bel-air)
Now these are puns all about COWS
Their milk gets flipped, churned all around.
And Iโd like to take a minute but I wonโt stop and prattle
And tell you this story you havenโt HERD about cattle.
In IstanBULL I was born and BRAISED.
In the pastures back then in my HAYDAYS.
Chewing cud, RUMPING round, and making a fuss.
TANNING out so UDDERLY ridiculous.
When a couple of HEIFERS who had BEEF with me
Started BULLying on my Brand , you see.
I got TIPPED over once and my mom got scared
She said you're MOOvin your behind, your butt, your DAIRY Air.
I whistled for a calf and when it came near
Thought she was a babe, but HE was a STEER!
If anything I can say this STEAK is rare
But that Bovine was BO-FINE so I didnโt care!
I got milked a few times, maybe 7 or 8
More like long-gonehorn, than reliable date.
So I CHUCKED out the udder half of the pasture,
Bevo ainโt a cow, donโt got what Iโm after.
Fun fact: a Dairy Cow can produce 125lbs of saliva a day.
I was visiting a friend in Copenhagen, Denmark. As we were having a walk, a shop piqued my interest with the name Loke (which I assumed was one way to spell Loki's name, the Norse God of mischief).
Me: What's that shop over there? Friend: That? It's a bike shop. Me: for Bikings?
Groans and threats to be thrown off the nearby bridge were made.
Funniest horse puns and jokes
A white horse walks into a pub and asks for a whisky. The landlord says: โHey, weโve got a whisky named after you.โ The horse replies: โWhat, George?โ
A horse trudges slowly into a pub and orders a drink. โEveninโโ says the barman, โwhy the long face?โ
A horse walks into a smart cocktail bar. The doorman says: โWait you canโt come in here without a tie.โThe horse goes out to his car, looks in the boot and gets a set of jump leads, which he ties around his neck.He goes back in and says to the barman: โThis alright?โ The barman says: โHmm, okโฆ but donโt be starting anything.โ
A poorly-looking horse limps into a bar with a bandage round his head. He orders a glass of champagne, a vintage brandy and two pints of Guinness. He downs the lot and says to the barman: โI shouldnโt really be drinking this with what Iโve got?โ โWhy, what have you got?โ โAbout ยฃ2 and a carrot.โ
Which side of a horse has more hair? The outside Whatโs a horseโs favourite TV show? Neighbours
A racehorse owner takes his horse to the vet. โWill I be able to race this horse again?,โ he asks The vet replies: โOf course you will, and youโll probably win!โ
Did you hear about the depressed horse? He told a tale of whoa!
A dead horse walks into a bar and orders a whisky.
โIโm sorry, sir,โ says the barman. โWe donโt serve spirits..
A talking horse walks into a bar and approaches the manager. โExcuse me, good sir,โ the horse says, โare you hiring?โ The manager looks the horse up and down and says, โSorry, pal. Why donโt you try the circus?โ The horse nickers. โWhy would the circus need a bartender?โ
Did you hear about the man who was hospitalized with six plastic horses inside him? The doctor described his condition as stable.
What did the horse say when it fell? โIโve fallen and I canโt giddyup!โ
Q. What does it mean if you find a horseshoe? A. Some poor horse is walking around in his socks.
A man rode his horse to town on Friday. The next day he rode back on Friday. How is this possible? The horseโs name was Friday.
Why did the pony have to gargle? Because it was a little horse!
What did the horse say when it fell? Iโve fallen and I canโt giddyup!
What did the teacher say when the horse walked into the class? Why the long face?
What do you call a horse that lives next door? A neigh-bo
... keep reading on reddit โกThe first time we met my brother's gf (now wife) she was talking about how many natural disasters there is in USA (brother's gf from Boston, we are from Denmark) and we have almost none here
and he continues the topic
Dad: "well... The only natural disaster in Denmark is 'mom' in a bathing suit.."
We laughed so hard (even 'mom') except the gf, she begins to cry and claims that danes are monsters.. Then he'd explain that this is the humor of Denmark, and she understood. Now she even makes this kind of jokes
'Here right, I was walking home from the pub last weekend and you know what I'm like when I'm drunk, singing to myself and stumbling all over the place haha. So I walked up the back road, yano the one with trees and bushes on either side of the road and I was singing away, loving life.
Then all of a sudden this figure dressed in black appeared, I couldn't really make out what it was. I got a bit closer and it ran at me, now you know I'm a hard man but it scared the life out of me! This weird looking man looked up from beneath a dark cloak thing and said 'I AM THE PRINCE OF DARKNESS' so dad goes 'awk for fuck sake, why didn't you say. I'm Marty, I married your sister.''
So I'm walking to the break room at work, and for a bit of background, I work in a small factory in a small town of 900. The workforce here has an average age of about 50, me being 20 makes me the youngest person here. Needless to say, I hear dadjokes 24/7, but this one is the best..so far.
I'm walking to the break room and I hear my coworker George call out for me. I stop walking and wait for him to approach. He leans in and says, "How far do you think you would have gotten if I hadn't hollered at you?"
Goddamnit, George.
Years ago I used to use a LexisNexis database of companies that would give corporate information like name, address, and general business description. While most of them were pretty bland, there were a bunch of them with some really cheesy puns, and over a few years I built quite a collection.
Today I share with you "NEXIS IS RIDICULOUS.txt":
Friend: "How were the two countries"
Me: "Well there were lots of mountains in Switzerland and basicly none in Denmark"
Friend: "So you could say your trip had ups and downs"
Dave is working at his job at the Time Travel Factory when his partner Bob comes back in his own time machine. "Come quick Dave!" he says "I just got back from the Middle Ages and have met a prince!" So Dave climbs into Bob's machine and they head to the Middle Ages.
They arrive at a castle and immediately meet the prince Bob was talking about. "Your Majesty" says Bob "Allow me to introduce my friend Dave. He works with me at the Time Traveling factory." As Dave bows, the Prince says "It is an honor to meet you my loyal subject. I am a Prince. My mother and father are Queen and King of this kingdom."
"It is even more of an honor to meet you, Your Highness" says Dave. "I have never met royalty before."
"It is indeed a rare honor for most subjects." said the prince. "Because of a strict guideline of pre-arranged marriage and inbreeding, there are only a small number of us around."
"Er...ok..." said Dave. "So tell me Prince, how vast is your kingdom."
"It is most large" said the Prince. "However my population has been dwindling lately. In recent months, I've had to behead a large number of my subjects. It fulfills my bloodlust and desire for authoritarian control by any means necessary."
Clearly uncomfortable, Dave turns to Bob and quietly says "I hate to say it, but this prince you've found is kind of a bummer."
Bob said to Dave "Well what did you expect, I told you. I have meta prince.
My dad and sister were discussing how they watched Harry Potter the half blood prince today and my dad said,
"Well I only saw half of it so I guess it was only the quarter blood prince"
I was talking to my dad just now about the legend of St George. He said, jokingly, that the knight did slay a dragon and I retorted with.
"Yeah, and allegedly a rose bloomed out of its blood,"
His reply? "Yup, allegendly,"
To clarify, he (we shall call him Greg) is not really a dad but with all the jokes he makes, he'd be a brilliant one. Here are a few that I can remember him making:
My mom and dad are arguing about making food for some kind of church get together.
My dad says "Why are you being so adamant about not making any food!? Susie (some lady at church) can does it..."
My mom says "OH SO THEN WHY DONT YOU JUST GO AND LIVE WITH SUSIE??!"
my dad says: "OH! AS IF GEORGE (Susies husband) WOULD ALLOW THAT!"
This was from high school before I became a dad, but I think it still qualifies.
My history teacher was lecturing on the Paris Conference following World War I. Specifically, he was discussing each of the world leaders in attendance and each of their aims for the treaty that would result from the conference.
He was going down the line of leaders and asking the class what each leader wanted in the treaty. For example, "Britain was represented by Prime Minister David Lloyd George. What did Mr. George want in the treaty?"
He got through Britain, France, and Italy, then he came to the United States, represented by President Woodrow Wilson.
He asked, "What did Mr. Wilson want?" I responded, "Dennis out of his life once and for all?"
He and I were the only people who laughed.
I stepped out of the shower and my girlfriend was watching The Prince of Egypt, an animated movie about Moses. A musical number is about to begin and she tells me, "Good, you're about to see the best part! Moses found out he's Jewish and he's in denial."
"Why'd he get back in the Nile?" I said. She gave me a confused look followed by a disappointed sigh. Her underlying hatred of me grows with every dad joke. Had to share it with you guys.
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