A list of puns related to "Prince Michael of Greece and Denmark"
Interviewer : where ? Micheal : where what ? Interviewer : where's the B ? Michael : THERE'S A BEE! (runs out of room )
But to the recording studios, he was more than that. He was a symbol.
He asked the cashier if she knew how much a Greek urns.
Timmy : I'm Hungary,. Mum : Why don't you Czech the fridge. Timmy : Ok, I'm Russian to the kitchen. Mum : Hmm...maybe you'll find some Turkey. Timmy : Yeah, but its all covered in Greece. Yuck ! Mum : There is Norway you can eat that. Timmy : I know, I guess I'll just have a can of Chile. Mum : Denmark your name on the can. Timmy : Kenya do it for me? Mum : Ok , I'm Ghana do it. Timmy : Thanks, i'm so tired Iran for an hour today. Mum : It Tokyo long enough. Timmy : Yeah, Israelly hard sometimes !
credit: some facebook post i saw.
The Prince of the vultures had always been a rebel, but he surprised everyone when he announced he was going to be a vegetarian. And nobody expected this to divide the vulture kingdom, with nearly half the vultures supporting the Prince's choice. Tempers flared, and civil war was brewing when the Prince burst into the King's chambers.
"Father," he cried, "I never meant to cause this. I'll do anything you say to reunite the kingdom. Please, Father, what should I eat?"
The King set a plate of roadkill in front of the Prince, and said "Carrion, my wayward son. There'll be peace when you are done."
โbefore I start, I would like to check if my mic is working..โ โif your name is Michael, please stand upโ
then a couple of guys stand up and he goes
โthat concludes my mike checkโ
(I saw this tweet and just had to share it!) Click here for credit
I went online and saw that a nigerian princess wanted to send me millions of dollars. However, I had to send $100 for handling fees on the check. However, I wanted confirmation. So I had her send me a picture. She did. Now, a princess needs a prince right? So I went online and found a picture of an eligible bachelor prince. Some guy from Jordan. I then took the two images, placed them side by side, and had some photoshopped ceremonial garb.
In otherwords, I married the prints. Of course, I took pictures of the happy event and sent them to the "princess" with the caption "I already married the prints." The scammer didn't reply unfortunately.
Iโm about to ask a friend of mine to Prom, and sheโs an exchange student from Denmark. Sheโs also a huge fan of puns.
Thus, Iโve come to the finest community of Reddit in search of a good Denmark pun. Whatโs your best??
I'm performing a comedy and I have an improv bit where I call someone a goofy name. It needs to be a pun on something in Judeo-Christian cannon, bonus points if it's about the angel michael. I.e. Michael Sword-an or Joan of Snark... something like that. Yall got suggestions???
I guess you could say they were kinda salty!
Her and I always exchange dad jokes. We've been impacted by hurricane Michael and have been away from home for over a week. She looked up a bunch of dad jokes to tell me since I've been busy getting our stuff figured out and been in meetings to get work/job operational once the building/power/water is available.
This morning, Wife was looking at pictures of my sister on her honeymoon and remarked, "Oh my God, these pictures of Greece are so beautiful."
"Yeah," I replied. "Did you know French Fries were first made there?"
"What?"
"Yup, French Fries were made in Greece."
She did not deign to reply.
Oh MOOgosh. This might just sound like a load of Bull, but please STEER me out.
Deja Moo (Sung to the tune of Fresh Prince of Bel-air)
Now these are puns all about COWS
Their milk gets flipped, churned all around.
And Iโd like to take a minute but I wonโt stop and prattle
And tell you this story you havenโt HERD about cattle.
In IstanBULL I was born and BRAISED.
In the pastures back then in my HAYDAYS.
Chewing cud, RUMPING round, and making a fuss.
TANNING out so UDDERLY ridiculous.
When a couple of HEIFERS who had BEEF with me
Started BULLying on my Brand , you see.
I got TIPPED over once and my mom got scared
She said you're MOOvin your behind, your butt, your DAIRY Air.
I whistled for a calf and when it came near
Thought she was a babe, but HE was a STEER!
If anything I can say this STEAK is rare
But that Bovine was BO-FINE so I didnโt care!
I got milked a few times, maybe 7 or 8
More like long-gonehorn, than reliable date.
So I CHUCKED out the udder half of the pasture,
Bevo ainโt a cow, donโt got what Iโm after.
Fun fact: a Dairy Cow can produce 125lbs of saliva a day.
... The sign on their pen said their names were Michael and Wayne.
My friends said, "Those names are kind of dumb, I think they could have done better."
A man standing with his two young daughters turned to my friend and said, "Really? They're the Greatest Of All Time."
One was named Michael White and the other Kevin Wong. Together, they formed a good-cop-bad-cop team known as White and Wong.
When White was killed in the line of duty, Wong's brother joined the force, but it was never quite the same. After all, two Wongs don't make a White.
I was visiting a friend in Copenhagen, Denmark. As we were having a walk, a shop piqued my interest with the name Loke (which I assumed was one way to spell Loki's name, the Norse God of mischief).
Me: What's that shop over there? Friend: That? It's a bike shop. Me: for Bikings?
Groans and threats to be thrown off the nearby bridge were made.
and today, we were playing a game of "Yes, Let's!" If you're unfamiliar, that's a group improv exercise where one person says "Let's do a thing!" and everybody else replies "Yes, let's!" and then proceeds to act out the scene. After acting out said scene, somebody freezes, then everybody freezes, and then someone else starts one.
In this case, it was "Let's go to a Michael Jackson tribute concert!" Now, we'd just been coached to assume distinct roles in an attempt to construct a coherent narrative, and so I, as an awkward, scrawny, blond white man, slipped effortlessly into the role of a shitty Michael Jackson impersonator. And I must have been doing something right, because the rest of the group quickly formed a scene as the audience, security, and crew, and stupidity ensued as I sucked at being Michael Jackson for all I was worth.
A few people started heckling, and then one of the audience members barged past security and mimed punching me in the head, whereupon I dramatically spun and dropped to the floor with a resounding THUD (knowing how to fall is a useful skill). The reaction was about a third laughs, a third stage-gasps, and a third just confusion. But I did get a few compliments after the exercise on my impression and my theatrics.
So I'd say that was a pretty big hit.
So my wife is working on Genealogy stuff, and was asking her dad about some of his family history. After telling a few stories about some of his other uncles, he comes to his uncle Charles. "I was named after him, you know..." he tells us.
We look at him more than a bit incredulously, as his name is Michael.
He smiles and says "What? I sure as hell wasn't named BEFORE him..."
The first time we met my brother's gf (now wife) she was talking about how many natural disasters there is in USA (brother's gf from Boston, we are from Denmark) and we have almost none here
and he continues the topic
Dad: "well... The only natural disaster in Denmark is 'mom' in a bathing suit.."
We laughed so hard (even 'mom') except the gf, she begins to cry and claims that danes are monsters.. Then he'd explain that this is the humor of Denmark, and she understood. Now she even makes this kind of jokes
'Here right, I was walking home from the pub last weekend and you know what I'm like when I'm drunk, singing to myself and stumbling all over the place haha. So I walked up the back road, yano the one with trees and bushes on either side of the road and I was singing away, loving life.
Then all of a sudden this figure dressed in black appeared, I couldn't really make out what it was. I got a bit closer and it ran at me, now you know I'm a hard man but it scared the life out of me! This weird looking man looked up from beneath a dark cloak thing and said 'I AM THE PRINCE OF DARKNESS' so dad goes 'awk for fuck sake, why didn't you say. I'm Marty, I married your sister.''
Years ago I used to use a LexisNexis database of companies that would give corporate information like name, address, and general business description. While most of them were pretty bland, there were a bunch of them with some really cheesy puns, and over a few years I built quite a collection.
Today I share with you "NEXIS IS RIDICULOUS.txt":
Dave is working at his job at the Time Travel Factory when his partner Bob comes back in his own time machine. "Come quick Dave!" he says "I just got back from the Middle Ages and have met a prince!" So Dave climbs into Bob's machine and they head to the Middle Ages.
They arrive at a castle and immediately meet the prince Bob was talking about. "Your Majesty" says Bob "Allow me to introduce my friend Dave. He works with me at the Time Traveling factory." As Dave bows, the Prince says "It is an honor to meet you my loyal subject. I am a Prince. My mother and father are Queen and King of this kingdom."
"It is even more of an honor to meet you, Your Highness" says Dave. "I have never met royalty before."
"It is indeed a rare honor for most subjects." said the prince. "Because of a strict guideline of pre-arranged marriage and inbreeding, there are only a small number of us around."
"Er...ok..." said Dave. "So tell me Prince, how vast is your kingdom."
"It is most large" said the Prince. "However my population has been dwindling lately. In recent months, I've had to behead a large number of my subjects. It fulfills my bloodlust and desire for authoritarian control by any means necessary."
Clearly uncomfortable, Dave turns to Bob and quietly says "I hate to say it, but this prince you've found is kind of a bummer."
Bob said to Dave "Well what did you expect, I told you. I have meta prince.
Friend: "How were the two countries"
Me: "Well there were lots of mountains in Switzerland and basicly none in Denmark"
Friend: "So you could say your trip had ups and downs"
I was watching Michael Collins, a movie about the Irish war of independence, when my dad walked into the room.
"Oh Michael Collins is on, when did it start?" He asked
"Around 1916" I responded
He groaned and then walked out of the room. After many years I have finally gotten him back. This is a pretty big moment for me guys.
My 2 year old daughter was playing with a toy horse and wrapping a pink ribbon around it. It was starting to look like a bondage scene so I turned to my wife and said: "Look honey, 50 shades of neigh". She shook her head harder than Michael J. Fox.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1xX2LYyaaaU
Michael explores the agony of the zoo and talks about the regal and elegant Cheetah...
My dad and sister were discussing how they watched Harry Potter the half blood prince today and my dad said,
"Well I only saw half of it so I guess it was only the quarter blood prince"
I stepped out of the shower and my girlfriend was watching The Prince of Egypt, an animated movie about Moses. A musical number is about to begin and she tells me, "Good, you're about to see the best part! Moses found out he's Jewish and he's in denial."
"Why'd he get back in the Nile?" I said. She gave me a confused look followed by a disappointed sigh. Her underlying hatred of me grows with every dad joke. Had to share it with you guys.
The Mrs and I were at Michaels (hobby/craft store, if you haven't heard of it) looking for things for our kid's moustache themed first birthday party.
We were having trouble finding anything, so we asked a man. He said it was scattered all across the store, so naturally, I asked him "you mean you don't have a mus-stash?"
He was so impressed, he spent about fifteen minutes and showed us everything he could think of that was mustachioed.
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