Why did the prawns wife kick him out?

She was sick of him acting so shellfish

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πŸ‘€︎ u/THPSROCKS
πŸ“…︎ May 21 2021
🚨︎ report
What do you call the last prawn in your prawn cocktail?

.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/lifeandtimes89
πŸ“…︎ Apr 08 2021
🚨︎ report
Two prawns were swimming around in the sea

One called Justin and the other called Kristian. The prawns were constantly being harassed and threatened by sharks that inhabited the area:

Finally one day Justin said to Kristian. "I'm fed up with being a prawn. I wish I was a shark and then I wouldn't have any worries about being eaten."

A large mysterious cod appeared and said. "Your wish is granted" Low and behold, Justin turned into a shark. Horrified, Kristian immediately swam away, afraid of being eaten by his old mate.

Time passed (as it does) and Justin found life as a shark boring and lonely All his old mates simply swam away whenever he came close to them. Justin didn't realise that his new menacing appearance was the cause of his sad plight.

While swimming alone one day he saw the mysterious cod again and he thought perhaps the mysterious fish could change him back into a prawn..

He approached the cod and begged to be changed back, and, lo and behold, he found himself turned back into a prawn.

With tears of joy in his tiny little eyes Justin swam to Kristian's home. As he opened the coral gate, memories came flooding back. He banged on the door and shouted. "It's me, Justin, your old friend, come out and see me again."

Kristian replied. "No way man, you'll eat me. You're now a shark, the enemy and I'll not be tricked into being your dinner." Justin cried back. "No, I'm not. That was the old me. I've changed....... I've found Cod. I'm a Prawn again Kristian!!.. πŸ€ͺ🀣

πŸ‘︎ 35
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πŸ‘€︎ u/OwenJthomas89
πŸ“…︎ Oct 17 2020
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What did the prawn say to the scallop at the party?

"I have to go, I think I've pulled a mussel!"

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/goopzilla
πŸ“…︎ Oct 18 2020
🚨︎ report
Prawn to E7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/coolstuffgd
πŸ“…︎ Apr 07 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you need to be good at cooking prawns?

You need apron

πŸ‘︎ 29
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Satanic_Smaug
πŸ“…︎ Feb 23 2020
🚨︎ report
Two Prawns are swimming in the sea

One Prawn is called Justin, the other is called Christian. Suddenly they are approached by a magic Cod who grants them each a wish. Christian been a humble Prawn is happy with his lot in life and declines the wish. Justin however asks for the Cod to turn him into a Shark.

Weeks later Justin hates being a Shark as all the other fish are scared and swim away. Justin manages to find the magic Cod who turns him back into a prawn.

Delighted Justin now a Prawn again finds his old friend and exclaims "I found Cod, I'm a Prawn again Christian!"

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/matc7884
πŸ“…︎ Dec 02 2019
🚨︎ report
I was handling prawns with tongs and a pair of scissors

I guess it was open prawn surgery

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MrDragonace
πŸ“…︎ Nov 22 2019
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the shrimp that went to the prawn’s cocktail party?

He pulled a mussel.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CYBERSson
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2019
🚨︎ report
This prawn couldn't decide whether he wanted to be coated in batter and eaten or not

He was being tempura mental

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πŸ‘€︎ u/GaryTheKnight
πŸ“…︎ Aug 27 2019
🚨︎ report
What did Sean Connery call the egocentric prawn?

Shellfish.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sandysingssongs
πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2017
🚨︎ report
Why didn't the prawn like sharing?

Because it was a little shellfish.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kiwicanary
πŸ“…︎ Aug 29 2017
🚨︎ report
I ordered a large duck at the Chinese last night.

The bill was huge.

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ May 04 2021
🚨︎ report
When fishing tactically...

...Make sure to lie in the prawn position.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TastesLikeGaming
πŸ“…︎ May 02 2021
🚨︎ report
Warning!

Be aware We ordered a Chinese takeaway from a local place (I won't name them) I went to pick it up last night and as I was driving home, I heard the bags rustling and moving!!WTF??!!! I thought what the hell is that. Has something got in the bag, I thought I could see a little pair of eyes peering out at me. I was driving so I leaned forward, picked up the bag, put it on the passenger seat and there it was again, more rustling and little eyes looking out behind the prawn crackers, I thought its got to be a rat or a mouse or something, so I carefully pulled the bag down ... And there it was ... ... A Peeking Duck!!!

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Weedwacker01
πŸ“…︎ Oct 25 2020
🚨︎ report
Sir yes sir
πŸ‘︎ 4k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/narwhal-lord14
πŸ“…︎ Nov 02 2018
🚨︎ report
What do you call a shrimp that keeps getting hurt?

Accident prawn

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ItsCowBeef
πŸ“…︎ Jul 11 2019
🚨︎ report
Where do sharks go to sell the things they’ve stolen?

A prawn shop.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ“…︎ Aug 23 2019
🚨︎ report
How do Australian chess pieces pay for large purchases?

They use a check, mate

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πŸ‘€︎ u/AnitaRide
πŸ“…︎ Aug 26 2017
🚨︎ report
[request] Prom help?

So I'm asking my coworker to prom tomorrow, we both work at a grocery store (she's a cashier and I'm her bagger), all I can think of for a sign right now is something along the lines of "bagging a prom date". Can anyone think of any better grocery store puns for an ask?

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/wrety94
πŸ“…︎ Apr 30 2017
🚨︎ report
What do you call someone who buys and sells shrimp?

A Prawn Broker

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JackWebber85
πŸ“…︎ Mar 08 2018
🚨︎ report
Steak and Shrimp

Late at night is a terrible time to show succulent steak and shrimp advertisements, especially when you are on a diet. As one came on the TV, I swiftly turned it off.

β€œWhat are you doing?!” My wife asked.

β€œWe shouldn’t watch that. It’s prawn-ography.”

😏

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/coastin32
πŸ“…︎ Oct 09 2018
🚨︎ report
Where do you go to buy secondhand seafood?

A prawn shop.

πŸ‘︎ 35
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ker-Blammo
πŸ“…︎ Nov 15 2016
🚨︎ report
Name/pun for a 1970s special burger?

it's a chicken Kiev on brioche topped with prawn cocktail with a scampi skewer

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tealeafxo
πŸ“…︎ Jan 11 2015
🚨︎ report
Doled out a Dad joke whilst at work in a hotel kitchen.

I'm a kitchen hand, and we take these big containers the chefs fill with dirty pans etc to clean the contents. These containers are called warwicks (pronounced "WORRICK").

I took one of these warwicks, and the chef next to me thanked me. As a response to his thank you, I just said "hey mate, no warwicks!"

Chef turned to look at me in disappointment, and almost dropped a pan of garlic prawns.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RevenantCommunity
πŸ“…︎ Feb 06 2014
🚨︎ report
Be vigilant

I hate to do this about a local business but feel you deserve to know. πŸ˜•

** Be aware **

We ordered a Chinese takeaway from a local place (I'm not going to name them) I'd just been to pick it up and as I were driving home, I heard the bags rustling and moving!!! I thought what the hell is that? Has something got in the bag? I thought I could see a little pair of eyes peering out

I was driving so I leaned forward, picked up the bag, put it on the passenger seat and there it was again, more rustling and little eyes looking out behind the prawn crackers!

I thought its got to be a rat or a mouse or something, so I carefully pulled the bag down ...

And there it was ...

... A Peeking Duck!!!

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/beanieboombaby
πŸ“…︎ Sep 11 2019
🚨︎ report
My Dad thinks this is hilarious on so many levels...

Two prawns, Justin and Christian, were constantly harassed by sharks.

Finally Justin said to Christian, "I'm fed up being a prawn. I wish I was a shark, then I wouldn't worry about being eaten by one."

A large, mysterious cod appeared and said, "Your wish is granted", and lo and behold, Justin turned into a shark.

Horrified, Christian immediately swam away, afraid of being eaten by his former friend.

Time passed, Justin found life as a shark boring and lonely. All his old pals simply swam away whenever he came close to them.

While swimming alone one day he saw the mysterious cod again and Justin begged to be changed back to a prawn. And he was!

What a miraculous thing!

With tears of joy in his tiny little prawn-eyes, Justin swam back to his friends. But looking around the reef couldn't see his old pal.

"Where's Christian?" he asked. "He's at home, distraught at his best friend changing sides to the enemy and becoming a shark," came the reply.

Eager to put things right, Justin set off to Christian's abode. Opening its coral gate, memories came flooding back.

He banged on the door and shouted, "Christian! It's me, Justin, your old friend! Come out, and see me again!

Christian replied, "No way man, you'll eat me. You're now a shark, the enemy, and I'll not be tricked into being your dinner."

Justin cried back, "No, I'm not. That was the old me. I've changed...

"I've found Cod! I'm a prawn again Christian!"

πŸ‘︎ 78
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πŸ‘€︎ u/skinnyminx
πŸ“…︎ Sep 18 2013
🚨︎ report

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