How to politely tell your Greek friend Robert to be quite.
I was at a meeting, standing, when someone offered me a place to sit. I politely declined and said
"I don't accept charity."
A recruitment agency phoned me up. 'Can you tell me what your ideal position is?' asked the woman, very politely.
Apparently, 'legs up on the sofa' wasn't the answer she was looking for.
My political puns are tariffable.
Political pun: What does it look like when a government contractor flies the coop?
Here’s my favourite politically incorrect joke of all time.
Benjamin Franklin was the greatest American President.
Did you hear that Lobsters have formed their own political movement?
They're fighting for a just claws.
The Trump White House is so polite these days.
Everyone there is saying “Pardon me” all the time now.
Not to get all political in this sub, but...
Did you guys know that the guy who was recently pepper sprayed by Portland's mayor is a big dairy heir?
My chiropractor started talking politics today
He was trying to see which way I was leaning
I asked my wife to describe me in 5 words. She said I'm mature, I'm moral, I'm pure, I'm polite and I'm perfect! Then she added that I also...
...had a fundamental lack of understanding about apostrophes and spaces...
I'm worried that the supreme court will lack empathy now that Ginsburg is gone.
Without her they're ruthless.
If Sephiroth from Final Fantasy VII was involved with politics, he’d be a republican.
Politics is the most accurate word in the English language
Poly = many.
Ticks = blood sucking parasites.
Have you guys checked the news today?
Which is the most polite food in the world?
What kind of self-defense does a Jewish Trump supporter practice?
The political climate is so polarizing these days that even Do, Re and Mi decided to form their own independent left leaning musical scale and vote Democratic.
When questioned they just stated they were now Anti Fa.
Since his political career is almost over the US vice president is starting his own soda company.
It's called Pence-a-cola.
Credit to @comicsbyandy for this political cartoon that also has a pun
https://preview.redd.it/juu01g2we3s51.png?width=680&format=png&auto=webp&s=363c4e4cc3b0dd44ac8193dcdb74ee01bc854813
I usually stay out of politics, but - and this is a big but - ...
>!https://imgur.com/xDwJi0C!<
What do you call a midget magician that escaped from prison?
I don’t like discussing North and South in polite company.
I find those topics to be quite polarizing.
I got a warning message from a mod saying “my jokes are bringing to much religion and politics into this sub”
I replied saying “let the people in this sub decide, for christ sake”
What's the new hip political ideology?
My wife threatened to divorce me when I said I was going to give our daughter a silly name...
Why was the German 7 so hungry?
Son: "Dad, did you see pictures of that guy at the Capitol stealing Nancy Pelosi's podium? That's domestic terrorism!"
Dad: "Wrong, son. He was just taking a political stand."
What Sith Lord immobilizes his victims instead of killing them?
Darth Ritis.
Edit: The Sith Lord of politeness, Darth anksalot.
How to Castrate a Bull, in Limerick Form
I've two bulls who just love to fight //
they simply cannot be polite //
Just one needs to breed //
and so I'll proceed //
to castrate the weak one tonight
The procedure is safe, I insist //
if we make the blood flow desist //
to make bleeding halt //
do the "ball somersault" //
and give that whole sack a huge twist
To do this requires no skill //
I'll just need a quite large power-drill //
and a specialized clamp //
to hold on to that champ //
then turn it on fast- what a thrill!
It is clear this device should appeal //
to those who need bulls with less zeal //
I shall name this device //
with a drill and a vise //
the most perfect of names: "Steering Wheel!"
What kind of a prize do you give someone who hasn't moved a muscle in a year?
They say an informed racist is better than an uninformed racist. You know what's worse than an uninformed racist?
I dont want political comments. Just enjoy the pun
The problem with political jokes...
They sometimes get elected.
I'm pretty far on the left politically but I'm not involved in any activism
Among all the politically incorrect jokes I know, here’s my favourite:
Benjamin Franklin was the greatest US President.
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