My political puns are tariffable.
Political pun: What does it look like when a government contractor flies the coop?
What is the most polite building in Italy?
The Leaning Tower of PLEASE-ah!
(Courtesy of my 7-year old daughter just a few minutes ago.)
Here’s my favourite politically incorrect joke of all time.
Benjamin Franklin was the greatest American President.
What do you call a knock-off lego rug with political views?
What are junk foods political beliefs?
The Trump White House is so polite these days.
Everyone there is saying “Pardon me” all the time now.
Did you hear that Lobsters have formed their own political movement?
They're fighting for a just claws.
Not to get all political in this sub, but...
Did you guys know that the guy who was recently pepper sprayed by Portland's mayor is a big dairy heir?
What Sith Lord immobilizes his victims instead of killing them?
Darth Ritis.
Edit: The Sith Lord of politeness, Darth anksalot.
I asked my wife to describe me in 5 words. She said I'm mature, I'm moral, I'm pure, I'm polite and I'm perfect! Then she added that I also...
...had a fundamental lack of understanding about apostrophes and spaces...
My chiropractor started talking politics today
He was trying to see which way I was leaning
I’m voting for the Rock for president..
How to politely tell your Greek friend Robert to be quite.
My wife said I can’t take a joke.
So I asked for one politely.
I'm worried that the supreme court will lack empathy now that Ginsburg is gone.
Without her they're ruthless.
My girlfriend said she'll leave me if I don't support Trump.
If Sephiroth from Final Fantasy VII was involved with politics, he’d be a republican.
Politics is the most accurate word in the English language
Poly = many.
Ticks = blood sucking parasites.
Credit to @comicsbyandy for this political cartoon that also has a pun
https://preview.redd.it/juu01g2we3s51.png?width=680&format=png&auto=webp&s=363c4e4cc3b0dd44ac8193dcdb74ee01bc854813
The political climate is so polarizing these days that even Do, Re and Mi decided to form their own independent left leaning musical scale and vote Democratic.
When questioned they just stated they were now Anti Fa.
Since his political career is almost over the US vice president is starting his own soda company.
It's called Pence-a-cola.
Which is the most polite food in the world?
I usually stay out of politics, but - and this is a big but - ...
>!https://imgur.com/xDwJi0C!<
What kind of self-defense does a Jewish Trump supporter practice?
Have you guys checked the news today?
I don’t like discussing North and South in polite company.
I find those topics to be quite polarizing.
What's the new hip political ideology?
I got a warning message from a mod saying “my jokes are bringing to much religion and politics into this sub”
I replied saying “let the people in this sub decide, for christ sake”
My wife threatened to divorce me when I said I was going to give our daughter a silly name...
What do you call a midget magician that escaped from prison?
Why was the German 7 so hungry?
What kind of a prize do you give someone who hasn't moved a muscle in a year?
I dont want political comments. Just enjoy the pun
How to Castrate a Bull, in Limerick Form
I've two bulls who just love to fight //
they simply cannot be polite //
Just one needs to breed //
and so I'll proceed //
to castrate the weak one tonight
The procedure is safe, I insist //
if we make the blood flow desist //
to make bleeding halt //
do the "ball somersault" //
and give that whole sack a huge twist
To do this requires no skill //
I'll just need a quite large power-drill //
and a specialized clamp //
to hold on to that champ //
then turn it on fast- what a thrill!
It is clear this device should appeal //
to those who need bulls with less zeal //
I shall name this device //
with a drill and a vise //
the most perfect of names: "Steering Wheel!"
Among all the politically incorrect jokes I know, here’s my favourite:
Benjamin Franklin was the greatest US President.
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