Why do detectives tend to scrutinize individuals with bluish eyes in cases of poisoning?

Because the real killer is usually cyan-eyed.

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👤︎ u/antirabbit
📅︎ Dec 29 2020
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My wife and I went out for dinner and ended up with food poisoning. She ate some bad chicken and got salmonella

while I ate some bad salmon and got chickenella.

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👤︎ u/Beezneez86
📅︎ Nov 06 2020
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My daughter just came home from camp with food poisoning...

... I guess you could call her a Hurl Scout.

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👤︎ u/actuallyboa
📅︎ Aug 17 2020
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What happened when the entire family got food poisoning?

Baby shart, do do do do

Mommy shart, do do do do

Daddy shart, do do do do...

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👤︎ u/Y2KoNo
📅︎ Mar 01 2020
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Pennywise was really killed by food poisoning.

That's what trying to consume old Derry products will do to you.

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👤︎ u/desireewhitehall
📅︎ Dec 21 2019
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I had breakfast at The Mesa Grill and got food poisoning. My lawyer said that I had a good case, but I'm a man.

I just didn't wanna sue Flay.

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👤︎ u/PotBuzz
📅︎ Mar 03 2020
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I got food poisoning at a German festival

It was the wurst.

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👤︎ u/tinytiz
📅︎ Mar 20 2019
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What happens to cowboys when they get food poisoning?

They get dire yee-haw.

Source: I have food poisoning and am dying. The dehydration has led my mind to some cowboy related place I guess. Also dire hee-haw works better but I don't know anything about what cowboys say.

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👤︎ u/Lightxspeed
📅︎ Dec 27 2019
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He got food poisoning on the first day of his Germany trip...

...he was having the wurst week.

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👤︎ u/halfburntcookie
📅︎ Jul 06 2018
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Prepare for Radiation Poisoning

Question: Why don't radioactive animals talk?

Answer: Because they're mute-ated!

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👤︎ u/Dr_Ars3nic
📅︎ Jun 04 2019
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Everyone in a house died from carbon monoxide poisoning...

Except the kids. They were in the living room.

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👤︎ u/HerpDerpMcChirp
📅︎ Sep 26 2019
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Why did Vladmir's first girlfriend die of Polonium poisoning?

She asked if he Putin yet.

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📅︎ Jun 14 2019
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Why did the throne give the king radiation poisoning?

It was chair noble.

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👤︎ u/proheath
📅︎ May 20 2019
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When food poisoning breaks out at the Annual Condiments Convention...

"We'll ketchup later but first I mus-turd!"

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👤︎ u/CymbalTarget2327
📅︎ Aug 06 2018
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Mike Pence couldn’t make it to the Senate vote today because he had food poisoning from raw fish.

Presiding in his absence was the President Pro Temp-ura.

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👤︎ u/dingleingus
📅︎ Jun 09 2018
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My Step-Dad was telling a story about when he got carbon monoxide poisoning when he was in the Army.

I asked "Did you tell your... CO?"

He didn't get it.

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👤︎ u/Ymir24
📅︎ Jul 04 2017
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I had food poisoning last night...

My girlfriend gave me some vitamin water to drink. I drank some and immediately needed to lay down. She said," it's not going to sit well if you don't stay up for a bit." I said," I know but it will lay well." Ha. Ha. Merry Christmas.

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👤︎ u/ApathyApple
📅︎ Dec 25 2015
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I got food poisoning from a hotdog...

It was literally the wurst.

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👤︎ u/Big_Bag_Of_Nope
📅︎ Jul 30 2019
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Why did the throne give the king radiation poisoning?

It was chair noble.

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👤︎ u/Quint_Cordewener
📅︎ Jun 19 2019
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