What was Adolf Hitler's penis made of?
A potato. He was a dick-tater.
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︎ Oct 09 2020
When I was young, my fairy godmother asked me if I wanted a long penis or a long memory
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︎ Oct 23 2020
What do you call a ladder that has a big penis?
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︎ Oct 09 2020
When cybernetics are Iβm going to replace my penis with a revolver
I could finally say I have a magnum dong
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︎ Sep 15 2020
Whatβs silver and bad for your penis?
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︎ Aug 31 2020
True story: Driving back home, my 5 year old son says "How do you spell 'penis'?". My wife looks at me curiously and then asks "Why?"
After a few moments of silence, my son replies "That's it?"
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︎ Dec 17 2019
They said constructing viagras office building to be shaped like a penis would be difficult
But I didnβt expect it to be that hard
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︎ Jul 20 2020
They moved the penis museum from Iceland to Denmark.
They classified it as a dick move.
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︎ Jul 09 2020
What would you call a lesbianβs penis?
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︎ Jul 27 2020
I just got sent a severed penis in a box with no address
Guess it was an anonymous tip
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︎ Aug 14 2020
A penis shaped lollipop isnβt a real present...
Itβs more of a gag gift.
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︎ Jun 27 2020
Some penis jokes are like being uncircumcised..
they can go over your head.
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︎ Jul 04 2020
Cut the potatoes into penis shapes and fill your boat with them. Now you are the captain of a ...
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︎ May 23 2020
My penis was in the Guinness book of world records.
Then the librarian told me to take it out.
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︎ Apr 07 2020
You need to give your penis a high five
You don't wanna leave it hanging
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︎ Jun 29 2020
Documentary; The African elephant has a penis so large it can use it as a 5th leg
Me; Left knee, right knee, wee nee
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︎ Apr 20 2020
What does the penis say when he's tired?
I can't stand it anymore!
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︎ Jan 15 2020
What has a little penis and hangs down? A bat. What has a big penis and hangs up?
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︎ Dec 01 2019
If a blind girl says you have a big penis.
Sheβs probably just pulling your leg.
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︎ Jun 18 2019
Straight as my penis
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︎ Oct 06 2019
My penis reacts when I put it on clocks.
It's alright, but it's hard at times.
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︎ Oct 05 2019
What do you call it when a man has a crocodile for a penis?
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︎ Jul 26 2019
What do you call a potato with a penis?
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︎ Jun 07 2019
TIL the maximum length of the human penis is 11,9 inches
Any longer and it's a foot
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︎ May 29 2019
Wife Dadjoked My Son - May Need To Check Her For A Penis
Wife made son(14) breakfast today. He said, "Mom, my eggs are shaped like Australia." Wife responded, "It's a continental breakfast, son."
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︎ Jun 17 2019
What do you get when you cross anxiety meds with an ancient shark and a penis?
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︎ Mar 04 2019
Sir would you like your penis with or without the skin?
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︎ May 18 2019
If a photo of your penis sent on Twitter is a dick pic...
... Is a photo of your tits on Insta a mammogram?
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︎ Apr 26 2019
What do you call a dinosaurs penis ?
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︎ Feb 15 2019
I named my penis calculus
Cause Ill never use it in my life.
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︎ Jun 30 2019
My penis is like a dad joke.
Predictable, disappointing and people only laugh out of pity.
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︎ Aug 23 2019
Did you ever hear of that penis superhero?
He hard on crime! He takes down all those hardened criminals! But he's soft and gentle with civilians.
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︎ Oct 19 2018
A man gets a Β£100 note tattooed to his Penis
His wife says "What have you done that for?"
The man replys "2 reasons, first of, I like to watch my money grow. Secondly the next time you feel like blowing a Β£100 you don't need to leave the house to do it!
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︎ May 29 2019
My penis was once on the Guinness book of world records
And now I'm no longer allowed in the library
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︎ Oct 25 2018
What do you get when you mix a penis and a potato?
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︎ Feb 07 2019
I Tried my hand in penis jokes today
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︎ May 16 2019
What do you call an obese, penis doctor?
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︎ Apr 18 2019
My penis was recently in the Guinness Book of World records
At least until the Librarian caught me.
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︎ Mar 10 2019
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