I was really embarrassed when my wife caught me playing with my son’s train set by myself. In a moment of panic, I threw a bedsheet over it.

I think I managed to cover my tracks.

πŸ‘︎ 788
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/OMMOPOWER
πŸ“…︎ Mar 28 2021
🚨︎ report
Doctor: "Relax David, It's just a small surgery. Don't panic!!"

Me: "But my name isn't David."

Doctor: "I know, I'm David."

πŸ‘︎ 1k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Mar 01 2021
🚨︎ report
My friend called me in a panic and shouted, β€œAn evil wizard turned me into a tiny harp! I don’t know what to do!” Frantically, I drove all the way to his house only to find out...

...he’s really a big lyre.

πŸ‘︎ 36
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…︎ Apr 02 2021
🚨︎ report
I wanted to do panic buying. So I checked my account.....

I can only do panic.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Mar 23 2021
🚨︎ report
My friend in Germany says that there has been panic buying of sausages and cheese . . .

It's the Wurst KΓ€se scenario

Credit: Twitter, Bruce Lawson (@brucel)

πŸ‘︎ 14k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Althesia
πŸ“…︎ Mar 18 2020
🚨︎ report
Breaking News. Total caos and panic as Germans are flooding supermarkets to buy sausages and cheese

That’s a wurst kase scenario

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Fabio2598
πŸ“…︎ Nov 06 2020
🚨︎ report
Son, remember if your parachute stops working mid-air, don't panic.

You'll have the rest of your life to fix it

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Oct 28 2020
🚨︎ report
My daughter called me in a panic and asked, "Dad! My car just broke down! What should I do!?" I replied calmly...

"Whisper it some words of encouragement!"

πŸ‘︎ 50
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Aug 08 2020
🚨︎ report
There's a rather unknown Greek myth that involved Zeus farting so loudly that it caused powerful lightning storms all over Greece. Panic and chaos ensued, and there was widespread looting as fires raged out on control.

Thus began the Zeus Toot Riots.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Hollowbody57
πŸ“…︎ Jul 07 2020
🚨︎ report
Pansexual panic!
πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Kris122Angel
πŸ“…︎ May 10 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call panic-buying sausage and cheese in Germany?

The Wurst Kase scenario

πŸ‘︎ 31
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Donosoley2
πŸ“…︎ Mar 26 2020
🚨︎ report
Why'd the guy panic and call 911 when he realized an ocean was forming around him?

It was an emergent sea.

πŸ‘︎ 23
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/kickypie
πŸ“…︎ May 29 2020
🚨︎ report
Do not Panic!
πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/sweatypsychic
πŸ“…︎ Mar 01 2020
🚨︎ report
I just accidentally super-glued my thumb and index finger together!! At first, I started to panic, but then I remembered that...

...it’s always going to be okay...

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ May 16 2020
🚨︎ report
My mom was having a panic attack and wanted to leave

But I told her β€œNah ma, stay”

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ May 13 2020
🚨︎ report
I've lost my mind due to the virus panic, but who knows ...

maybe it's just in my head.

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/baconaboot
πŸ“…︎ Mar 12 2020
🚨︎ report
A lady accidentally locks herself out of her car and begins to panic.

A passing soldier notices this, walks over and rolls his pants across the car. Magically, the car unlocks. The woman is relieved but puzzled, asking him how he did it.

"That's easy. These are khakis."

πŸ‘︎ 648
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/electricalalarm
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2018
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the herbs that were phoning everyone, trying to panic-buy all different sizes of measuring cups?

Desperate thymes call for disparate measurers.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/pj566
πŸ“…︎ Apr 01 2020
🚨︎ report
Danger, Fear, and Panic came knocking at my door. It'd been ten years since the last visit, and all holding clipboards, were ready to begin the inquisition. Nervously, I opened the door and prepared myself to answer their calling.

"Sense us."

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jeromocles
πŸ“…︎ Mar 05 2020
🚨︎ report
Why are British people always in a panic?

Because they can’t find the brexit

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/fat-bandit
πŸ“…︎ Nov 03 2019
🚨︎ report
Can i go to the Panic at the disco concert?
πŸ‘︎ 17
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/RedDragoon24
πŸ“…︎ Mar 23 2019
🚨︎ report
If you ever find yourself in lava, don't panic.

Just go with the flow.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/drozzi007
πŸ“…︎ Oct 13 2019
🚨︎ report
A Panic! At The Disco would be better than 5 seconds of summer
πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TBC_Oblivion
πŸ“…︎ Mar 25 2019
🚨︎ report
My son started to panic after he dropped a huge jar of pickles and got pickles everywhere.

β€œDon’t worry,” I told him. β€œEverything’s kosher.”

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/FinalCaveat
πŸ“…︎ Sep 10 2019
🚨︎ report
A passenger, in panic, asked if the airplane was going the right way

To which Yoda responded, β€œoff course, we are.”

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jul 21 2019
🚨︎ report
Blind panic

What’s the worst thing a blind person can read in braille. β€œDo not touch”

πŸ‘︎ 18
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/albachiel
πŸ“…︎ Feb 22 2019
🚨︎ report
My mom had a bit of a panic this morning when none of the gifts were wrapped.

My dad said not to worry. He's doing them presently.

πŸ‘︎ 22
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TrIQy
πŸ“…︎ Dec 25 2016
🚨︎ report
What do you call it when ISIS caused global panic?

A Cr-ISIS

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/siddis76
πŸ“…︎ Apr 20 2016
🚨︎ report
My friend called me in a panic and shouted, β€œAn evil wizard turned me into a tiny harp! I don’t know what to do!” Frantically, I drove all the way to his house only to find out...

...he’s really a big lyre.

πŸ‘︎ 6k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/flamingkitten101
πŸ“…︎ Apr 29 2020
🚨︎ report
Doctor: Relax, David. It’s just a small surgery, don’t panic.

Me: my name isn’t David.

Doctor: I know. I’m David.

πŸ‘︎ 949
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/sarcasticpremed
πŸ“…︎ Jul 12 2020
🚨︎ report
A friend in Germany tells me everyone’s panic buying sausages and cheese.

It’s the Wurst KΓ€se scenario.

πŸ‘︎ 154
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Rav4xle
πŸ“…︎ May 17 2020
🚨︎ report
I was really embarrassed when my wife caught me playing with my son’s train set by myself. In a moment of panic, I threw a bedsheet over it.

I think I managed to cover my tracks.

πŸ‘︎ 16k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jan 10 2019
🚨︎ report
A friend in Germany tells me everyone’s panic buying sausages and cheese..

It’s the Wurst KΓ€se scenario

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/drewfussss
πŸ“…︎ Mar 18 2020
🚨︎ report
I was really embarrassed when my wife caught me playing with my son’s train set by myself. In a moment of panic, I threw my bedsheets over it.

I think I covered my tracks.

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Re_van
πŸ“…︎ Sep 14 2019
🚨︎ report
I just accidentally superglued my thumb and index finger together, and at first I started to panic…

But then I remembered that it’s always going to be okay.

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jul 25 2019
🚨︎ report
I just accidentally superglued my thumb & index finger together, and at first I started to panic...

but then I remembered that it’s always going to be okay.

πŸ‘︎ 53
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/inquisitor1965
πŸ“…︎ Jan 02 2018
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.