My mom was having a panic attack and wanted to leave

But I told her β€œNah ma, stay”

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πŸ“…︎ May 13 2020
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Why did the Mexican take a Xanax?

For Hispanic attacks

πŸ‘︎ 13k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Yeeter4210
πŸ“…︎ Apr 17 2019
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Why was the Argentine man shaky?

Due to his-panic attacks

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/count_duko
πŸ“…︎ Jun 05 2019
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Punny names of Dark Souls 3 bosses.

For reference: Link to wiki

Some of these are done in a kind of "news headline"-style:

  • Choir leader fired after using too much sexual innuendo; "Lewd Ex Cantor."

  • Video on demand about a street where nothing happens; "Vod of the Boring Alley."

  • Man's brutal cousin turns out to be a great bloke; "Raw-Ted, Great Dude".

  • Panic spreads as toilet facilities take over the world; "Cry! Stall-Age."

  • A man orders a book of basic letters to look after his daughters belongings while he looks after the others; "ABC, Watch Her's!".

  • Sams brother cheats a dude; "Dean Cons the Peep."

  • A ride in the amusement park offers a wide range of emotions; "High! Low! Woo! Nah."

  • A weird and hard to describe new dessert; "Cold Lemon Thing."

  • A new star in stand up rises! Come see "Puntiff Sulyvahn."

  • Pirates start eating fava beans and a new drink is required; "Yo! Ho! The Chianti!."

  • A Long lived man has an unusual apetite for fish; "Old-Rick, Devourer of Cods".

  • In Bacteria-Town, a devastating disease strikes one inhabitant working at a hotel; "Cancer of the Borrelia Valet".

  • Roman god Cubid is ordered to take a woman to cave and kill her; "Drag and Slay Her Amor"

  • Osiris's statue has been in way too many marriages and people have started to call it; "Osiris the Consummated Thing."

  • The choir leader from before is transformed into a mushroom; "Champignon Cantor"

  • An english man becomes the leader of a Polish airplane company and gets nicknamed; "LOT-Rick"

  • An impatient tree person attacks a random mythical hunter; "Antsy Ent! Why Hern?!"

  • Horse named Elvis keeps making noise and a man shouts;"Neigh Less King!"

  • A child opens a chocolate egg and a white spirit jumps out; "Soul of Kinder"

Sorry about the possible typos.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dralnu22
πŸ“…︎ Sep 13 2016
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Why does donald trump takes Xanax when he goes to mexico?

To prevent his-panic attacks.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/N0B0dyyy
πŸ“…︎ Nov 12 2016
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While I was at school the other day...

My dad pulled this shit on me

Dad: did you hear about the kidnapping at school today?

Me: WHAT just now???

Dad: It's okay...he just woke up!

Followed by me recovering from a little panic attack that ensued and calling him an idiot. He did good though.

πŸ‘︎ 22
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Zediious
πŸ“…︎ Dec 17 2015
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Why did the Mexican take a Xanax?

For His-panic attacks.

πŸ‘︎ 25
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MacItaly
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2019
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