Most of my friends don't know that I'm actually a shape-shifting Norse god of mayhem and mischief.

I keep it Loki.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/jfshay
๐Ÿ“…︎ Oct 08 2020
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
30 Skeleton puns. Can you handle the skull rattling mayhem?

The Duke of Dance: If i don't stop soon, you're really gonna have a bone to pick with me.

The Duke of Dance: I need to stop being such a numbskull.

The Duke of Dance: help.

Sans: I gotta write these down.

The Duke of Dance: I don't have enough backbone to deal with my own shit

The Duke of Dance: but that's tibea expected.

Sans: I find this humerus.

The Duke of Dance: damn

The Duke of Dance: stole my next one.

The Duke of Dance: I'm not fibulaing you when i say, i'm running out of material. I'm really trying to think of more puns here, but i'm patellaing you, i'm out.

Sans: I don't even know this many bone names.

The Duke of Dance: My cranium is empty. i'm running bone-dry here.

The Duke of Dance: But you'r quite sternum in your wanting of these puns.

The Duke of Dance: don't worry, i'll stop temporalily. Not really tho.

The Duke of Dance: I'm taking these puns to the maxilla.

Sans: Can you make a pelvis pun?

The Duke of Dance: Not really. I can't think of any. So no hip hip hooray here.

Sans: That was alright.

The Duke of Dance: Are you having a femury time?

The Duke of Dance: I find myself sacruming to the need to make puns.

The Duke of Dance: helpican'tstop

Sans: I'm having a pun time.

The Duke of Dance: I'm gonna turbinate my puns, cuz i'm on my last leg-bones here.

The Duke of Dance: i'm getting desperate, you can tell.

The Duke of Dance: I didn't name a specific bone.

The Duke of Dance: Which is almost completely mandableitory.

The Duke of Dance: I have made more puns tonight than i have in a LONG time.

The Duke of Dance: Throw me a bone here, have i made enough skeleton puns?

Sans: There will never be enough skeleton puns. Mind makin' a list for me?

The Duke of Dance: Do

The Duke of Dance: Do you want me to write everything i just said down for you?

The Duke of Dance: I'm quivering at the thought of coming up with more skeleton puns.

Sans: I don't see any arrows.

Sans: Don't be a lazy bones, come up with more.

The Duke of Dance: I'll see you later, my vertebrah.

Sans: Have you any backbone?

The Duke of Dance: I already made that one.

The Duke of Dance: :3

Sans: SCREW IT, I'M MAKING ANOTHER

The Duke of Dance: Not so easy coming up with fresh material, is it?

The Duke of Dance: Also, "quiver" is another name for one of your joints.

The Duke of Dance: I'm just really looking at medical sites for this shit.

Sans: CURSE YOU GOOGLE.

The Duke of Dance: it's tibea expected. <Favorite skeleton pun, using it again

... keep reading on reddit โžก

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/PhilisophicalToast
๐Ÿ“…︎ Nov 07 2015
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Rob Zombie told my dad's favorite joke at Mayhem Fest last night...

A man goes to see his Doctor โ€œDocโ€ he says, โ€œIโ€™ve got a problem, every minute of every day, Iโ€™ve got that song Delilah running through my head! I catch myself humming it, and sometimes singing it in public places. My wife even says I sing it in my sleep, and itโ€™s driving her nuts. What is the matter with me?โ€

The Doctor replies โ€œwell, it sounds like Tom Jones Syndrome to meโ€.

โ€œIs it a rare disorder?โ€, the guy asks, to which the Doctor replies โ€œWell, itโ€™s not unusualโ€ฆโ€

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Beauregard_Nanners
๐Ÿ“…︎ Aug 05 2013
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
There once was a beautiful, snowy kingdom.

It was ruled by a fair king who joyfully ruled his land. Unfortunately, the kingdom was also home to a wicked thief who loved nothing more than causing mayhem for all the inhabitants of the land.

However, the thief was not your ordinary thief. He only stole bells. Any kind of bell, whether a tiny bell from a kittenโ€™s collar, all the way up to the bell from the kingโ€™s royal bell tower.

When the king awoke one morning, the bell towerโ€™s bell was missing. The king, being brave and noble, decided to follow the thief back to his lair. He chose four of his most loyal soldiers, mounted his horse, and rode off into the snowy woods, following the footprints left behind on the ground.

Soon, he and his soldiers arrived to a clearing in the woods. In front of them was a large, bell-shaped building. They found the thiefโ€™s lair!Pointing to the recent tracks left in the snow by the thief, the king announced to the soldiers,

โ€œLook! The Fresh Prints to Bell Lair!โ€

๐Ÿ‘︎ 2
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/reddit_reddit03
๐Ÿ“…︎ Nov 17 2020
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Can't believe my dad just said this.

"You know what comes after mayhem, right? Junehem!"

Facepalms all around.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 6
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Qurtys_Lyn
๐Ÿ“…︎ Oct 27 2013
๐Ÿšจ︎ report

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