March Madness from my 3 year old
How did you know the basketball game was in trouble?
Because it was in timeout!
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︎ Mar 20 2021
Math puns are the first sine of madness
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︎ Aug 21 2020
Isolation madness product
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︎ May 05 2020
With so much madness in the world today, I'm trying hard to Compose myself...
But I'm going to need a minuet to get a Handel on things, so please Holst on. There's no Haydn from reality, even if I can't stanza much more. I'm guessing the current madness originated in Britten - possibly during the Brahms age. Alas, I'm so Bizet writing my Chopin Liszt I will have to get Bach to you later when I'm Abel to compose my thoughts on how to overcome. GRRRRR.... I keep forgetting to purchase rainbow Schubert and must write that down. I also have to fix my microwave which Baroque earlier today when my son tried to Satie some vegetables. I do wish he would've refrained. Oh, I still have to go to the Barber as well. But, I digress... Once the madness calms down I hope y'all can Ravel in the moment. If you don't understand it, though, that's okay - it's all Grieg to me and I don't want to cause y'all any additional Strauss.
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︎ Aug 27 2020
What's the first sign of madness?
The heavy heavy monster sound.
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︎ Nov 12 2019
Math puns are the first sin(madness)
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︎ Apr 12 2018
What did March yell to Madness?
"What's all this bracket??
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︎ Mar 21 2019
Do you think geologists have an event around this time of the year called Arch Madness?
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︎ Mar 08 2019
The world is full of madness
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︎ Jun 23 2017
The first sign of madness is hair on the palms of your hand
The second sign of madness is looking for them.
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︎ Jul 08 2018
Madness
https://imgur.com/a/0SyCA
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︎ Dec 12 2017
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︎ Apr 06 2014
Watching some March Madness and...
My dad claims that Purdue is playing like "Pur-doo-doo"
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︎ Mar 17 2016
My wife got mad at me because I wouldnβt stop singing βIβm a Believerβ by the Monkees. At first, I thought she was kidding.
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︎ Apr 02 2021
My wife got really mad when I told her she had no sense of direction
She packed up her bags and right.
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︎ Feb 20 2021
I once debated a flat earther. He got so mad he stormed off saying he would walk to the edge of the earth to prove me wrong.
Heβll come around eventually.
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︎ Feb 11 2021
"Fool me once - I'm mad. Fool me twice - How could you? Fool me three times - You're officially that guy, okay?"
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︎ Apr 28 2021
Do songbirds get mad at hummingbirds.....
Because they don't know the words?
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︎ Apr 27 2021
Wife (madly tapping at phone): my sound is not working
Me (a seasoned dad): I can hear you just fine
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︎ Apr 16 2021
I asked my friend to stop making Harry Potter puns and she got really mad
'Siriusly?' she said, 'what is Ron with you?'
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︎ Apr 13 2021
Was Spartacus mad because the Lion ate his wife?
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︎ Mar 24 2021
My Christian wife got mad at me because adultery is a sin
But by god did I love thy neighbor
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︎ Mar 03 2021
My wife got mad at me when I spilled wine on the window
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︎ Apr 09 2021
I just told my neighbor, Mr. Claimer he was ugly, but not to get mad.
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︎ Apr 08 2021
The mad scientist awoke, thrilled to see his clone right next to him.
He was beside himself with excitement.
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︎ Mar 05 2021
My wifeβs mad at me because she said I never buy her flowers
I honestly didnβt even know she sold flowers
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︎ Nov 25 2020
Mad house
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︎ Jan 27 2021
My neighbor has been mad at his wife for sunbathing nude.
I personally am on the fence
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︎ Sep 06 2020
Why was the cow mad at the bull
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︎ Feb 18 2021
Well I mean I would be mad...
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︎ Jun 10 2020
I got my dog neutered, and heβs real mad at me but...
He didnβt have the balls to fight me
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︎ Mar 09 2021
Somewhere a cat is mad at me
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︎ Dec 23 2020
My girlfriend got mad at me for being lazy
It's not like I did something
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︎ Jul 21 2020
Hook is mad
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︎ Jul 08 2020
Just spent $300 on hiring a limousine and discovered the fee doesn't include a driver.
Can't believe I've spent all that money and have nothing to chauffer it.
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︎ Jan 29 2021
The creator of Mad Libs passed away
His friends described him as a round and pulpy man who loved his wife and penguins. He will be deeply pooped.
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︎ Dec 29 2020
If you are offended by my dad jokes, donβt get mad and ask me to go to the artificial excavation filled with water.
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︎ Jan 03 2021
Don't be mad at lazy people
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︎ Jan 08 2021
When people get mad about me playing League of Legends I just
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︎ Jan 16 2021
What do you call it when all the cows the dairy farm go mad?
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︎ Jan 11 2021
After my wife had a stressful day at work, I drew her bath. She then got mad at me!!
Some people are so ungrateful. I used an entire pencil adding details to it and everything :(
[Just thought of this. I'm pretty happy with myself right now.]
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︎ Nov 15 2020
What do you call a pirate who's mad because he can't pee?
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︎ Dec 13 2020
My wife got mad after I tried to convince her that she'd agreed to let me buy a neon sign.
I guess she doesn't like gas lighting.
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︎ Nov 30 2020
I have an asian friend who's constantly mad
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︎ Dec 01 2020
I was so mad when Walmart ran out of figurines for the Nativity
Now I have to attend manger management
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︎ Dec 11 2020
Why was the US mad at Canada for remaining part of the commonwealth?
Because being stuck with the land of the Angles is obtuse
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︎ Jan 01 2021
Don't be mad, be hoppy!
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︎ Nov 11 2020
Why was the sniper's girlfriend mad at him?
Because he never misses her.
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︎ Dec 12 2020
A man had a fetish for touching and hearing, one day his friend got mad and slapped and yelled at the man
He ended up coming to his senses
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︎ Dec 09 2020
Why was the skeleton mad at the grave robber?
Because of all the skulduggery
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︎ Dec 22 2020
A flat earther was debating me and got so mad he said "I will walk off the edge of the earth to prove you wrong!!"
He'll come around eventually
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︎ Feb 12 2021
My wife is mad at the fact that I have no sense of direction.
So I packed up my stuff and right
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︎ Jul 14 2020
My wifeβs really mad at the fact I have no sense of direction
So I packed up my stuff and right.
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︎ Feb 16 2021
My wife is really mad at the fact that I have no sense of direction,
So I packed up my stuff and right!
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︎ Dec 14 2020
My wife is mad because I never buy her flowers.
I didnβt even know she sold flowers!
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︎ Jan 03 2021
I once debated a flat earthed. He got me so mad I stormed off, saying I'd come back around eventually.
You could say I went over the edge.
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︎ Feb 12 2021
My wife was mad I had a bad sense of direction...
...so I packed up and right!
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︎ Jan 10 2021
My wife is really mad because I have no sense of direction.
So I packed up my stuff and right.
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︎ Jan 09 2021
"My wife is really mad at the fact that I have no sense of direction."
"So I packed up my stuff and right!"
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︎ Nov 15 2020
My wife is really mad at the fact i have no sence of direction,
So i packed up my stuff and right
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︎ Jun 03 2020
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