March Madness from my 3 year old

How did you know the basketball game was in trouble?

Because it was in timeout!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dtfan53
πŸ“…︎ Mar 20 2021
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Math puns are the first sine of madness
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πŸ‘€︎ u/yesandno-2003
πŸ“…︎ Aug 21 2020
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Isolation madness product
πŸ‘︎ 25
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VitaminKW
πŸ“…︎ May 05 2020
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With so much madness in the world today, I'm trying hard to Compose myself...

But I'm going to need a minuet to get a Handel on things, so please Holst on. There's no Haydn from reality, even if I can't stanza much more. I'm guessing the current madness originated in Britten - possibly during the Brahms age. Alas, I'm so Bizet writing my Chopin Liszt I will have to get Bach to you later when I'm Abel to compose my thoughts on how to overcome. GRRRRR.... I keep forgetting to purchase rainbow Schubert and must write that down. I also have to fix my microwave which Baroque earlier today when my son tried to Satie some vegetables. I do wish he would've refrained. Oh, I still have to go to the Barber as well. But, I digress... Once the madness calms down I hope y'all can Ravel in the moment. If you don't understand it, though, that's okay - it's all Grieg to me and I don't want to cause y'all any additional Strauss.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/andersonfmly
πŸ“…︎ Aug 27 2020
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What's the first sign of madness?

The heavy heavy monster sound.

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πŸ“…︎ Nov 12 2019
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Math puns are the first sin(madness)
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πŸ‘€︎ u/asrapg
πŸ“…︎ Apr 12 2018
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What did March yell to Madness?

"What's all this bracket??

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ryden22
πŸ“…︎ Mar 21 2019
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Do you think geologists have an event around this time of the year called Arch Madness?
πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/YaBoiJFlo
πŸ“…︎ Mar 08 2019
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The world is full of madness
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ebrithilotho
πŸ“…︎ Jun 23 2017
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The first sign of madness is hair on the palms of your hand

The second sign of madness is looking for them.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/YourDailyHuman77
πŸ“…︎ Jul 08 2018
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Madness

https://imgur.com/a/0SyCA

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sh_ip_int_breif
πŸ“…︎ Dec 12 2017
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Bad Pun Office: Madness cheezburger.com/813711206…
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MRLDFX
πŸ“…︎ Apr 06 2014
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Watching some March Madness and...

My dad claims that Purdue is playing like "Pur-doo-doo"

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/esaltzy
πŸ“…︎ Mar 17 2016
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My wife got mad at me because I wouldn’t stop singing β€œI’m a Believer” by the Monkees. At first, I thought she was kidding.

But then I saw her face.

πŸ‘︎ 9k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DiosMioMan2
πŸ“…︎ Apr 02 2021
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My wife got really mad when I told her she had no sense of direction

She packed up her bags and right.

πŸ‘︎ 10k
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πŸ“…︎ Feb 20 2021
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I once debated a flat earther. He got so mad he stormed off saying he would walk to the edge of the earth to prove me wrong.

He’ll come around eventually.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/LinkIsThicc
πŸ“…︎ Feb 11 2021
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Wife (madly tapping at phone): my sound is not working

Me (a seasoned dad): I can hear you just fine

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πŸ“…︎ Apr 16 2021
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I asked my friend to stop making Harry Potter puns and she got really mad

'Siriusly?' she said, 'what is Ron with you?'

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Irishblackfish
πŸ“…︎ Apr 13 2021
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Was Spartacus mad because the Lion ate his wife?

No. He was gladiator.

πŸ‘︎ 62
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Texgymratdad
πŸ“…︎ Mar 24 2021
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My wife got mad at me when I spilled wine on the window

It was stained glass

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AtomicWaffle-117
πŸ“…︎ Apr 09 2021
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My Christian wife got mad at me because adultery is a sin

But by god did I love thy neighbor

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Purple_ferret1
πŸ“…︎ Mar 03 2021
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I just told my neighbor, Mr. Claimer he was ugly, but not to get mad.

it was my disclaimer.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/buckeyespud
πŸ“…︎ Apr 08 2021
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The mad scientist awoke, thrilled to see his clone right next to him.

He was beside himself with excitement.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Joesdad65
πŸ“…︎ Mar 05 2021
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My wife’s mad at me because she said I never buy her flowers

I honestly didn’t even know she sold flowers

πŸ‘︎ 3k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/pawpaw69420
πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2020
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Mad house
πŸ‘︎ 51
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MaryOverMatter
πŸ“…︎ Jan 27 2021
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Why was the cow mad at the bull

Cause they have beef

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Forgotten_Orokin
πŸ“…︎ Feb 18 2021
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My neighbor has been mad at his wife for sunbathing nude.

I personally am on the fence

πŸ‘︎ 16k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Yarnell3131
πŸ“…︎ Sep 06 2020
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Well I mean I would be mad...
πŸ‘︎ 11k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/xxDr-Beckyxx
πŸ“…︎ Jun 10 2020
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I got my dog neutered, and he’s real mad at me but...

He didn’t have the balls to fight me

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Broisback32
πŸ“…︎ Mar 09 2021
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Somewhere a cat is mad at me
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ha-Ka-Tu
πŸ“…︎ Dec 23 2020
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My girlfriend got mad at me for being lazy

It's not like I did something

πŸ‘︎ 12k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sash_Mystq
πŸ“…︎ Jul 21 2020
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Just spent $300 on hiring a limousine and discovered the fee doesn't include a driver.

Can't believe I've spent all that money and have nothing to chauffer it.

πŸ‘︎ 15k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Jan 29 2021
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Hook is mad
πŸ‘︎ 4k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kelly240361
πŸ“…︎ Jul 08 2020
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The creator of Mad Libs passed away

His friends described him as a round and pulpy man who loved his wife and penguins. He will be deeply pooped.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Imnotarobot12764
πŸ“…︎ Dec 29 2020
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If you are offended by my dad jokes, don’t get mad and ask me to go to the artificial excavation filled with water.

I mean well.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PaulFromTheParty
πŸ“…︎ Jan 03 2021
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Don't be mad at lazy people

They didn't do anything

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πŸ‘€︎ u/araitisaname
πŸ“…︎ Jan 08 2021
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When people get mad about me playing League of Legends I just

LOL.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/squarezloader
πŸ“…︎ Jan 16 2021
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What do you call it when all the cows the dairy farm go mad?

Udder Chaos

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jwaldrip
πŸ“…︎ Jan 11 2021
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After my wife had a stressful day at work, I drew her bath. She then got mad at me!!

Some people are so ungrateful. I used an entire pencil adding details to it and everything :(


[Just thought of this. I'm pretty happy with myself right now.]

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πŸ‘€︎ u/zipflop
πŸ“…︎ Nov 15 2020
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What do you call a pirate who's mad because he can't pee?

irate

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πŸ“…︎ Dec 13 2020
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My wife got mad after I tried to convince her that she'd agreed to let me buy a neon sign.

I guess she doesn't like gas lighting.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/iron__giant
πŸ“…︎ Nov 30 2020
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I was so mad when Walmart ran out of figurines for the Nativity

Now I have to attend manger management

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πŸ‘€︎ u/NathanielleS
πŸ“…︎ Dec 11 2020
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I have an asian friend who's constantly mad

His name is Fu Ming.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Danieboy
πŸ“…︎ Dec 01 2020
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Why was the US mad at Canada for remaining part of the commonwealth?

Because being stuck with the land of the Angles is obtuse

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πŸ‘€︎ u/wnlm
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01 2021
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Don't be mad, be hoppy!
πŸ‘︎ 22
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πŸ‘€︎ u/WashingYoda
πŸ“…︎ Nov 11 2020
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I bought a thesaurus but when I opened it all the pages were blank

I had no words to describe how angry I was

πŸ‘︎ 34
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πŸ‘€︎ u/simszter
πŸ“…︎ Apr 06 2021
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A man had a fetish for touching and hearing, one day his friend got mad and slapped and yelled at the man

He ended up coming to his senses

πŸ‘︎ 23
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JK-AJ27
πŸ“…︎ Dec 09 2020
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Why was the sniper's girlfriend mad at him?

Because he never misses her.

πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sarmale255
πŸ“…︎ Dec 12 2020
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Why was the skeleton mad at the grave robber?

Because of all the skulduggery

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SirSunDowner
πŸ“…︎ Dec 22 2020
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I accidentally put viagra in my ear

I’m hard of hearing now

Edit: Thank you kind strangers for the awards

Edit 2: Tis a HARD joke to beat

πŸ‘︎ 184
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Nickatier_Carbs
πŸ“…︎ Mar 01 2021
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A flat earther was debating me and got so mad he said "I will walk off the edge of the earth to prove you wrong!!"

He'll come around eventually

πŸ‘︎ 51
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πŸ‘€︎ u/clouc1223
πŸ“…︎ Feb 12 2021
🚨︎ report
My wife’s really mad at the fact I have no sense of direction

So I packed up my stuff and right.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/vancity1985
πŸ“…︎ Feb 16 2021
🚨︎ report
My wife is mad at the fact that I have no sense of direction.

So I packed up my stuff and right

πŸ‘︎ 10k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kiwiboy0419
πŸ“…︎ Jul 14 2020
🚨︎ report
My wife is really mad at the fact that I have no sense of direction,

So I packed up my stuff and right!

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Krayola-
πŸ“…︎ Dec 14 2020
🚨︎ report
My wife is mad because I never buy her flowers.

I didn’t even know she sold flowers!

πŸ‘︎ 56
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MrVegano
πŸ“…︎ Jan 03 2021
🚨︎ report
I once debated a flat earthed. He got me so mad I stormed off, saying I'd come back around eventually.

You could say I went over the edge.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dendari
πŸ“…︎ Feb 12 2021
🚨︎ report
My wife was mad I had a bad sense of direction...

...so I packed up and right!

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ“…︎ Jan 10 2021
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My wife is really mad because I have no sense of direction.

So I packed up my stuff and right.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/deathto2020
πŸ“…︎ Jan 09 2021
🚨︎ report
"My wife is really mad at the fact that I have no sense of direction."

"So I packed up my stuff and right!"

πŸ‘︎ 23
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PersonWalker
πŸ“…︎ Nov 15 2020
🚨︎ report
My wife is really mad at the fact i have no sence of direction,

So i packed up my stuff and right

πŸ‘︎ 1k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/shamudawhale51
πŸ“…︎ Jun 03 2020
🚨︎ report

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