A little boy ran up to me " please help, my Dad is in a fight " I followed and we came across two men fighting. I said, " Ok, which one is your Dad ? " ..
.. " I dunno, that's what they're fighting about "
Ordering KFC, and I ask for a chicken wing. Cashier asks, “ok sir, and which side?”
I replied I had never thought about it before, but I suppose I’ll take the right side.
Cashier: “sir, I meant mashed potatoes, corn, or beans.”
Its ok to kiss a nun....
....but don't get into the habit.
My dog moon got his leg amputated, but that's ok...
He's a got a faux pas now
A few days too late, but OK.
NASA put a watch around a potted plant and sent it on a rocket to the sun. I said to my Daughter, "don't worry, it will be ok.."
"a watched pot never boils"
Ok, this is a mom joke...
My stay-at-home wife came in earlier and asked what I wanted for dinner. "I don't know... You pick, you're cooking it after all."
A few minutes later she comes in with a frying pan. "Here ya go!"
It was a piece of paper. With the words "I don't know" written on both sides.
proof
... Smartass, lol.
Ok m sorry to let everyone at r/dadjokes down.
I haven’t been able to tell a single dad joke all year
Ok guys, I am about to tell a joke!
Well, here goes nothing...
An answer in a listening test was "specific background material" and a classmate asked if it was ok to just write "background material"
The teacher said it had to be specific
I was addicted to the hokey pokey, but it’s ok now.
Ok hear me out
<GUTEN> should have been an HTML tag because it would be the guten tag.
How has nobody thought of this.
[Grocery Store] “Ok. Milk..check. Bread...check. Bacon..check.”
Cashier: Sir, please stop writing checks for each item separately.
I asked a guy in a pub if he wanted a game of darts. He said “OK, nearest the bull starts”. ...
He went “Baaa”
I went “Moooo”
He said ok you start.
I was watching a live performance when the floor gave way and one of the actors fell through. My wife asked if I thought they were ok.
I said I’m sure they’re fine, it’s just a stage they’re going through.
What did the rock say to the flower ok bloomer.
Is it ok to call the babies born in 2020....doomers?
Ok acupuncture skeptics. You can say it’s fake. You can say it’s just a placebo. You can say it’s a scam. BUT...
You can’t say it’s pointless
Ok, so I made this... the Madagascar...
My son came home to find me slumped over the lawn mower crying my eyes out. He shouted over the noise, "You ok, pop?!" I shouted back...
"I'm fine!! I'm just going through a rough patch!"
Is it ok if a take a shower?
No stealing is wrong, I’ll draw you a bath instead.
I was bald and hated having hair, but now that I have it, that's ok.
OK here we go. Soap this gets to the front page...
Blanch: "Why did pickling upset you so badly? Is everything ok?" Me: "The whole experience was quite jarring...."
Blanch: "I get it. That can leave you in a bad headspace but, I'm an open kettle - you can tell me anything."
Me: "I just need to vent, Blanch."
Ok, I admit it. I’m an unemployed leather worker.
I was ok with Algebra, Geometry, and Trigonometry when I was in high school.
But I reached my limit with Calculus.
"ok boomer"...
Said the currant to the elderberry
Ok,so if corona virus isn’t about beer,
Why do I keep hearing about cases of it?
I used to hate the lockdown in the beginning, but now that I have a full fridge, I am ok with it.
Scientists are calling it the Stock Home syndrome.
I woke up this morning and saw a bird of prey in my backyard eating avocado toast and yelling “Ok Boomer!”
It was a millennial falcon.
Ok brace yourselves for an absolute travesty of a joke, said during bathtime after water got into my daughter's eyes.
I told my wife:
There's the captain water, and the crewmember water. The captain water says:
"All right crewmembers, do you know where you have to go?"
The crewmember water replies:
"Eye eye, sir!"
This earned me a proper facepalm from my wife which I shall wear proudly as a badge of honor and now share here with you.
Some asshole cut off both my arms and a leg a while ago. But it's ok...
...I don't hold crutches.
Ok babe, I have a question. I'm pretty sure the answer is no...
...but what is the opposite of yes?
"Ok. I'll give it my best shot"
I wanted to make a joke about potassium so, I was like oK what is the best way to make a pun out of this.
[grocery store] Ok, milk...check, eggs...check, tomatoes...check.
“Sir, please stop writing separate checks for every single item.”
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