A Ok Puns

A satisfactory

I love working at the orphanage.

Because it's 10/4, good buddy!

idk if this counts as against the rules but it’s spooky time now. my username everywhere is StarlineOdyssey, so i need some spooky themed puns on it, if you can think of any good ones. any help would be appreciated. mods if you take this down that’s understandable

.. " I dunno, that's what they're fighting about "

Hold me closer, Tony Danza. Count the headlights on the highway...........

(Elton John, Tiny dancer. Once you hear it you can't unheard it.)

Me: Well, you never know where a dentist might hide.

To which they answered “yes” “oui” “si” “ja”.

Probable caws.

Early days with the kids. five, six? I don't really remember, but it was about the time they were afraid of "Monsters" in the closet, under the bed, always at night. Frustrating!

Anyway, I used to put water in a spray bottle, add just a little of my aftershave (so it smelled like me), and I created a label for "Monster Spray". The label looked damn good, it looked "real" at least to a six year old.

Spray under the bed, around the room, in the closet, wherever. It worked so well that every kid in the neighborhood was borrowing it!

Years later, a young niece was afraid of "Bee's" in her dreams, I guess she had been stung, so I turned my brother on to the secret. We made "Monster and Bee Spray" for her.

To this day, I think the secret was the little bit of aftershave, and that we took it seriously.

I butted in and said don’t do that it’ll hurt.

They are all bark and no bite.

I replied I had never thought about it before, but I suppose I’ll take the right side.

Cashier: “sir, I meant mashed potatoes, corn, or beans.”

"a watched pot never boils"

My stay-at-home wife came in earlier and asked what I wanted for dinner. "I don't know... You pick, you're cooking it after all."

A few minutes later she comes in with a frying pan. "Here ya go!"

It was a piece of paper. With the words "I don't know" written on both sides.

proof

... Smartass, lol.

Well, here goes nothing...

I said I’m sure they’re fine, it’s just a stage they’re going through.

You can’t say it’s pointless

He went “Baaa” I went “Moooo” He said ok you start.

It was a millennial falcon.

No stealing is wrong, I’ll draw you a bath instead.

I told my wife:

There's the captain water, and the crewmember water. The captain water says: "All right crewmembers, do you know where you have to go?" The crewmember water replies: "Eye eye, sir!"

This earned me a proper facepalm from my wife which I shall wear proudly as a badge of honor and now share here with you.

...I don't hold crutches.

Scientists are calling it the Stock Home syndrome.

...but what is the opposite of yes?

Sorry I’m advance if this isn’t allowed.

Dad: Yes, so long as there are no Attachments.

A Satis-factory

Boomer rang

It's a big 10-4.

Foresight is 2020

A satisfactory.

I finally battled my Damons.

Husband: "Never mind. I'm feeling better!"

"Jenny"

Those Catholics are real sensitive sometimes

Satisfactory.

Satisfactory