I was so mad when Walmart ran out of figurines for the Nativity

Now I have to attend manger management

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πŸ‘€︎ u/NathanielleS
πŸ“…︎ Dec 11 2020
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Saw this nativity scene and the priests were saying...
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πŸ‘€︎ u/toremygooch
πŸ“…︎ Dec 05 2018
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Cat nativity
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MilPens
πŸ“…︎ Dec 09 2017
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Did you know "Silent Night" is not a nativity carol, but rather a news item about a successful Scandinavian invasion of the Middle East?

"BjΓΈrn is the king of Israel"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/randombrain
πŸ“…︎ Jan 31 2017
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I just finished setting up our nativity scene, and this year I used lego hobbits for the magi.

Just like the song says--wee three kings.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/chaz182
πŸ“…︎ Dec 03 2016
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The three wise men in the nativity were actually fire fighters.

We know this because they came from afar.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/IcarusI
πŸ“…︎ Dec 26 2014
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What do you call a native Alaskan eye doctor??

An Optical Aleutian

I’ll see myself out...

πŸ‘︎ 10k
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πŸ“…︎ Dec 01 2020
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What do you call second thoughts about plans to visit a Native American sanctuary?

A reservation reservation reservation

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πŸ‘€︎ u/xtilexx
πŸ“…︎ Feb 23 2021
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How were the Native Americans in America first?

They had reservations

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DO_doc
πŸ“…︎ Feb 20 2021
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Why was the Native American bartender fired?

He kept charging $24 for a Manhattan

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πŸ‘€︎ u/hutimuti
πŸ“…︎ Dec 13 2020
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How do you let your Native American friend know he's welcome anytime?

You Cherokee

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SecretButtCrack
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01 2021
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Natives of the African jungle, when avoiding predators, call the distance between you and a lion a β€˜wimb’

Because the lion in the jungle is always a wimb away.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dongwaffler
πŸ“…︎ Dec 17 2020
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What do you call mustard native to an area?

Indijonous mustard.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/French_Embassy
πŸ“…︎ Dec 18 2020
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I just opened up a Native American themed restaurant...

Does anyone in here know any good Sioux-chefs that need a job?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/qwopcircles
πŸ“…︎ Oct 30 2020
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Did you hear what happened to the Native Americans who drank too much tea?

They drowned in there tipi

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πŸ‘€︎ u/gregblackey
πŸ“…︎ Nov 29 2020
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I found a cool rock in my father-in-law's yard. FIL- Oh that's a native American fertility stone. Me- Really! How can you tell? FIL- ....

It's a fuckin rock.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Plumbbookknurd
πŸ“…︎ Oct 24 2020
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A Native American man drank 500 cups of tea in one sitting

Nearly drowned in his own teepee

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πŸ‘€︎ u/masters330
πŸ“…︎ Sep 19 2020
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This book on Native American cooking.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/redhandfilms
πŸ“…︎ Jul 01 2020
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Why do British people say they’re β€œbri’ish”?

Because they drank the T

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πŸ‘€︎ u/eThunderSnow
πŸ“…︎ Jan 30 2021
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Found a book on american history and no mention of Native Americans

This is apache version of history I thought

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πŸ“…︎ Aug 30 2020
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Did you hear about that Native American who drank 5 gallons of tea before bed?

That night, he drowned in his teepee.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MitchOnTheMic
πŸ“…︎ Aug 25 2020
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Why was the Native American embarrassed after using the bathroom?

He looked down and realized he had some teepee stuck to his foot.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/undercover723
πŸ“…︎ Aug 02 2020
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If you move to a Polynesian country and wonder if the natives will accept you, just know there will be

Samoans

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πŸ‘€︎ u/billbixbyakahulk
πŸ“…︎ Aug 12 2020
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I'm having second thoughts about my appointment to stay at a Native American hotel.

I'm having reservation reservation reservation. (BR)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Zaxxonn26
πŸ“…︎ Aug 08 2020
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What do you get when you cross a pig with the Native Americans?

Porkahontas.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TotalScrub420
πŸ“…︎ May 11 2020
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US native bees have a nickname..

USB

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MadOldLogan
πŸ“…︎ May 28 2020
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The best way to tell the difference between an Indian and an African elephant is

that one of them is an elephant.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/EmBeeCSGO
πŸ“…︎ Nov 17 2020
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John felt like the odd one out at the Mohawk convention, maybe because of the language barrier?!

He’s not a native speaker after all

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πŸ“…︎ Feb 26 2021
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Know your ABC's kids (Except for Guwucci, he sucks)
πŸ‘︎ 5k
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πŸ“…︎ Jul 17 2020
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When the moon hits your eye, Like a big pizza pie, That's amore.

When an eel bites your hand, And that's not what you planned, That's a moray.

When our habits are strange, And our customs deranged, That's our mores.

When your horse munches straw, And the bales total four, That's some more hay.

When Othello's poor wife Becomes stabbed with a knife, That's a Moor, eh?

When a Japanese knight Uses his sword in a fight, That's Samurai.

When your sheep go to graze In a damp marshy place, That's a moor, eh?

When your boat comes home fine And you tie up her line, That's a moor, eh?

When you ace your last tests Like you did all the rest, That's some more "A"s!

In New Zealand you see An aborigine, That's a Maori.

Alley Oop's homeland has A space gun with pizzazz, That's a Moo Ray.

A comedian ham, With the name Amsterdam, That's a Morey.

When your chocolate graham, Is so full and so crammed, That s'more, eh.

When you've had quite enough, Of this dumb rhyming stuff, That's "No more!", eh?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ComeAbout
πŸ“…︎ Aug 30 2020
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I was on safari last year and spoke to a native African girl for hours

We just clicked

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πŸ‘€︎ u/haymalb
πŸ“…︎ Apr 06 2020
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Sad story about the Native American that drank 37 glasses of ice tea. The next morning they found him dead...

Face down in his tea pee.

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πŸ“…︎ Apr 20 2020
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Why did all the Native Americans leave Oklahoma?

Broken Arrow, Broken Bow, Nowata,

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tearsonurcheek
πŸ“…︎ Apr 22 2020
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What do you call a number that won't sit still??

A Roamin' Numeral.

(Apologies if it's an old joke. My daughter told me this today while doing online math class. THANKS COVID!!)

Everyone stay safe and healthy!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/josie4afg
πŸ“…︎ Sep 24 2020
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If you call a restaurant on a Native American reservation and don’t feel so certain about it...

then you’re having a reservation reservation reservation.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/rezzurict
πŸ“…︎ May 02 2020
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What rock group has 4 guys who don't sing?

Mount Rushmore

πŸ‘︎ 5k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ScumbagClub
πŸ“…︎ Jun 15 2020
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Pulled off a real-life-one, i guess...

Soo.. a little background: my mother was about to visit for a walk outside the next day when this dialogue happened; also: my native language is german and i don't know if this very common in english as well, but my daughter calls my mother <stgm_at's-mother-first-name>-gramma. for the sake of this post let's assume her name is elizabeth.

so here goes...

(i enter the living room; wife & daughter sitting on the couch)

daughter: (in a moderately excited voice) hey dad, you know who's going to visit us tomorrow?

me: (acting as if i didn't know) don't know, who?

daughter: elizabeth-gramma.

me: huh, really, but do you know who is also going to visit us?

(daughter looks at me even more excited, there was defenitely a twinkle in her eye; wife looks at me sceptical)

daughter: don't know, who?

me: my mum.

(cue rolling eyes and groan from my wife and laughter from my daughter)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/stgm_at
πŸ“…︎ Jan 24 2021
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