A man walks into a bar with a mysterious box under his arms.
Bartender: "Hold on there buddy, what's in the box?"
Man: "I'll show you if you give me a free drink
The bartender agrees and the man lifts the lid of the box to show a tiny man, who starts playing an equally tiny piano.
Bartender: "That's amazing! Where did you find him?"
Man: "There's a genie outside granting free wishes. But if you go out there, be sure to speak up, because I think he is hard of hearing."
Bartender: "Why do you say that?"
Man: "Do you think I would've wished for a twelve-inch pianist?"
Disclaimer: Not original.
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︎ Apr 25 2021
How did the detective describe the mysterious package he received?
He said it was an open and shut case.
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︎ Apr 20 2021
My dad moved in some very mysterious circles.
He had one leg shorter than the other.
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︎ Feb 13 2021
So mysterious
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︎ Dec 08 2019
Thereβs a mysterious strain of head lice going around
Scientists are still scratching their heads about it
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︎ Sep 10 2020
A mysterious thief has stolen all the toilets from the local sheriff's office.
The police have nothing to go on.
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︎ Apr 17 2020
There is a mysterious crime spree going on at our local IKEA.
The cops are having a hard time putting the pieces together.
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︎ Jul 03 2018
There is a mysterious body of water where every wave is the same height, only one type of fish is ever caught there, and the tides come in and out at the same time every day.
Itβs called the Redundant-Sea.
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︎ Feb 26 2020
I'm a mysterious guy, so I want to change my last name to Yus.
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︎ Jul 11 2019
The Lord works in mysterious ways
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︎ Oct 01 2018
Police have reported that a baseball themed perfume factory has blown up under mysterious circumstances
They said it smells like Foul Play
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︎ Jun 12 2019
Mysterious Sound
My dad drove me home one night, then he suddenly stopped the car near our house and asked, "What's that sound?"
I got scared for a bit, but before I could respond, he farted.
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︎ Aug 08 2013
We're currently investigating a roll of paper towels for murder of a mysterious red liquid.
I guess we should put a BOUNTY on it.
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︎ Oct 11 2017
What did the lumberjack say to the mysterious fallen tree in the middle of the woods?
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︎ Jun 10 2017
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︎ Jan 06 2015
Last Mystery Pun For the Week, Enjoy.
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︎ May 09 2019
Yesterday is history, tomorrow is mystery, but today is a gift
That's why it's called PRESENT.
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︎ Dec 30 2020
There's a new musical out called "The Mystery of Tide Pods"
Apparently it's a Soap Opera.
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︎ Feb 11 2021
Everyone tried so hard to figure out why Mr. Edwards changed his name to Mr. Evans
But after all these years, it's still a Mr. E
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︎ Apr 07 2021
The detective thought he found the key to solving the baker mystery.
Turns out it was just a bread herring.
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︎ Feb 17 2021
What's another name for a rabbit mystery?
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︎ Dec 25 2020
Whatβs the most effective way to write a murder mystery?
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︎ Jan 31 2021
A minute ago my calculator was fine and now, mysteriously, it's not working.
Something just doesn't add up.
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︎ Jan 26 2021
Do you know what MREs are made of?
No one does, they are Mr. Es.
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︎ Apr 16 2021
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︎ Nov 30 2020
Mystery un-loched
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︎ Nov 03 2020
I recently started writing a mystery novel....
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︎ Nov 10 2020
A well just mysteriously appeared in the lawn at the precinct!
The police are currently looking into it...
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︎ Oct 08 2020
When the mystery machine gets a flat tire who has to change it?
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︎ Oct 26 2020
What did Scooby say when the Mystery Van hit a pothole?
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︎ Oct 04 2020
What do you call appetizers at a murder mystery party?
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︎ Nov 02 2020
Did you hear what happened to the coin theif?
He got caught for penny crime!
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︎ Feb 07 2021
How many Mystery-genre writers does it take to change a light bulb?
Two. One to screw it almost all the way in and the other to give it a surprising twist at the end.
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︎ Sep 11 2020
What did Margaret Attwood title her latest murder mystery novel, about an Egyptian serial killer who kept drowning people?
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︎ Oct 29 2020
Iβve asked so many people what LGBTQ stands for
So far no one has given me a straight answer
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︎ May 10 2020
Why did the detective fail to solve the mystery?
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︎ Oct 07 2020
Unsolved mystery
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︎ May 18 2020
I bought a murder mystery jigsaw.
I'm still trying to piece it together.
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︎ Jun 14 2020
I've been to visit my grandmother's grave three times this week and each time someone has mysteriously covered it in gravy granules.
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︎ Jun 15 2020
I saw $50,000 mysteriously put into my bank account
I want no trouble, so I decided to leave it where I found it
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︎ Jul 15 2020
The current whereabouts of NK dictator still an Kim Jong-Unsolved mystery
When asked to comment, officials stated that the investigation was still Kim Yo-Jongoing.
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︎ Apr 27 2020
Have you heard about the mystery writer who was a Chubby Checker Fan?
All of his stories had Twist endings.
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︎ Jun 21 2020
My friends asked me why Iβve mysteriously been hanging grapes outside to dry.
I told them, βI have my raisins.β
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︎ Dec 09 2019
Did you know that Terry Crews once had a heckler that mysteriously dropped dead?
Doctors said the man had died from dissinβ Terry
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︎ Oct 22 2019
Big mystery at the police station, someone stole all the toilets
Now they have nothing to go on.
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︎ Feb 23 2020
I solved the mystery of the open luggage!
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︎ Feb 08 2020
My wife said the βEβ was missing from my sons alphabet set.
I replied, βNo way that is in the top 5 most voweluable letters!β
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︎ Dec 06 2020
My daughter asked me for a recommendation for a good book. I told her I had the perfect book in my collection for her to read. It has drama, romance, betrayal, excitement, action, love, loss, heroes, villians, mystery and puzzles. Pretty much everything really. Excitedly she asked me for it.
I handed her the dictionary.
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︎ Jan 16 2019
The man and the silver screw.
There once was this fella was born with a silver screw in his belly button. His parents, and later himself, searched far and wide trying to find someone that knew how this happened and how to remove it. As he grew older he cared less and less about the "how" and more about the removal. One day in his never-ending search he encountered a wizened woman who said that she knew of a place where you could go and a mysterious force would be able to remove the screw. But, before she provided the location she asked him if this was REALLY something he wanted done and if he knew all the consequences of his desire. The man hastily said that he was 10000% sure and more than well informed of the consequences. So, she gave him the location of the cave and the instructions on how to gain the help of the mysterious force. He was to go to the cave and sleep nude in the cave over night and by the morning his request would be fulfilled. He made his way to the spot with all due haste and followed the instructions to the letter. He did this and fell into a sound sleep. During the night a heavy fog rolled into the cave and a shining silver screwdriver floated into the cave with it. It floated down to the man and gently removed the screw. When the man woke up in the morning and saw the screw on the ground beside him he quickly reached down and felt his belly button. The screw was gone! He sprung up with great joy but the minute he landed after his leap of joy his butt fell off. He froze in horror and started to scream "Why did my butt fall off?" over and over.
The moral of the story is "Don't mess with things you don't understand or you will lose your butt."
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︎ Jan 21 2021
There is a mysterious crime spree going on at our local IKEA.
The cops are having a hard time putting the pieces together.
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︎ Jun 10 2019
How many mystery writers does it take to change a light bulb?
Two. One to change the bulb and another to give it an unexpected twist at the end.
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︎ Aug 20 2019
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