I started carrying a knife after an attempted mugging.

Since then, my muggings have been far more successful.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Woodscare
πŸ“…︎ Jan 08 2020
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My friend started carrying a knife since an attempted mugging a few years ago.

Now his attempts are a lot more successful.

πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ May 26 2018
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So is stealing someone’s coffee classified as mugging?
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SexyStingy
πŸ“…︎ Aug 08 2019
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There was an attempted mugging at the cafe this morning.

I'm prepared now though, in case he decides to chai again.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sgt_eaglefort
πŸ“…︎ Nov 08 2015
🚨︎ report
Son: What’s in that fancy beer mug on the mantel?

Me: Well, that’s your Uncle Frank. That’s where he wanted his remains. It was his favorite beer stein. He always said it would be funny. Never understood why.

Son: Maybe it’s so he could be Frank in Stein

Me: That son of a bitch!

πŸ‘︎ 142
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πŸ‘€︎ u/StealthSpyda215
πŸ“…︎ Oct 02 2020
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I got mugged by six dwarfs yesterday...

Not Happy.

πŸ‘︎ 332
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πŸ‘€︎ u/rendesr
πŸ“…︎ Sep 03 2020
🚨︎ report
I watched an old lady in a head wrap get mugged for her purse before she quickly stabbed the man and took it back.

It was a shawl shank redemption

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πŸ‘€︎ u/De_Salvation
πŸ“…︎ Nov 22 2020
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They finally caught the guy who's been putting hot sauce in beer mugs

His name: Dr. Frank's-in-stein.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/zombie-narwhals
πŸ“…︎ Nov 18 2020
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What do you call a Teletubbie that has just been mugged?

Tubbie

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mrjaxson1111
πŸ“…︎ Nov 20 2020
🚨︎ report
I was mugged and they took my oxygen tank, defibrillator and epic pen

My life savings

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/yanual3d
πŸ“…︎ Sep 01 2020
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This mug from BBC weather
πŸ‘︎ 4k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/siliconmac
πŸ“…︎ Jun 22 2019
🚨︎ report
Why did the coffee file a police report?

Because it got mugged.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/No_Hard_Feelings_
πŸ“…︎ Jan 24 2021
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Looking Sharp
πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/KunGDark
πŸ“…︎ Dec 01 2020
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I thought the pattern on my coffee mug was defective...
πŸ‘︎ 38
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πŸ‘€︎ u/honeyvcombs99
πŸ“…︎ Nov 20 2019
🚨︎ report
Coffee is the silent victim in our house...

It gets mugged everyday.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Dec 28 2020
🚨︎ report
When the mug’s hot...
πŸ‘︎ 188
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πŸ‘€︎ u/OsakaMilkTea
πŸ“…︎ Aug 13 2019
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Dad went out to this field and sent me a picture of himself there.

The caption read β€˜I’m outstanding in this field!’

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ“…︎ Dec 13 2020
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When Joe died I put his ashes in his favorite mug

Now it's a cup of Joe

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MyBellyHurtsITry
πŸ“…︎ Feb 15 2020
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I hope they don't get mugged
πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Diablosis89
πŸ“…︎ Dec 20 2019
🚨︎ report
A man attacked an employee at a Starbucks

The crime was considered a coffee mug.

πŸ‘︎ 26
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πŸ‘€︎ u/callmefinny
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2020
🚨︎ report
Help!! Creative Minds Needed!!

My Dad has recently shown a fascination with space and NASA. Long story short, Christmas is coming up and my plan is to surprise him with an all expense paid trip to Florida for 4 days with passes to the Kennedy Space Center. I’d schedule it around a launch so he would be able to see it in person. As well as checking out the area a bit since we’re there.

Which is where I need your help! I want to coordinate hints with presents that slightly hint at the trip. For example, I picked out a NASA tshirt, a space shuttle plush toy, assorted astronaut ice cream, socks that have planets and a rocket on them, mug that says β€œcoolest dad in the galaxy,” a map/atlas of florida, and luggage tags. And the final gift I’m thinking will be a letter that puts all the clues together and would include the plane tickets, car rental agreement, hotel confirmation, and the admission tickets in an envelope.

Can anyone give me ideas on what hints to use??

  • I’m still adding/taking away present ideas so if anyone has any better ideas please let me know!!

Thank you so much!! Any type of help is appreciated!! I don’t really have that β€œcreative” part of the mind... whether it be a rhyme or dad joke-y type hint, it doesn’t matter!

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πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2020
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Me: Dad!! I got mugged on my way home from school!!

Dad: damn! What will those kids throw at you next?

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jlionbad
πŸ“…︎ Feb 28 2020
🚨︎ report
Last night I went to a fancy dress party dressed as a tea bag.

On the way home I got mugged.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Nov 24 2020
🚨︎ report
Out Standing
πŸ‘︎ 6k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Plumbbookknurd
πŸ“…︎ Mar 25 2020
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Mugged
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DevilwoodKitty
πŸ“…︎ Aug 30 2019
🚨︎ report
Drinking coffee out of a lens mug helps me to focus...
πŸ‘︎ 41
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PotatokingXII
πŸ“…︎ May 17 2019
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My new mug
πŸ‘︎ 66
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πŸ‘€︎ u/millre01
πŸ“…︎ May 02 2019
🚨︎ report
Why did the coffee get arrested?

Someone called the cups. They took his mug shot.

πŸ‘︎ 38
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sand_Pip3r
πŸ“…︎ Oct 16 2020
🚨︎ report
There I was this morning, sitting and drinking Coffee in my slippers , and I thought to myself..

..I really need to clean a few mugs around here.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/HugoZHackenbush2
πŸ“…︎ Sep 26 2020
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A thief broke into a guy's house, stole his stuff, killed the man, and turned him into a large cup…

… he was mugged.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/KonoAnonDa
πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2020
🚨︎ report
What a crappie mug
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AsymmetricPanda
πŸ“…︎ Feb 28 2019
🚨︎ report
If I ordered a Mint Julep in a copper mug

could I call it a Moscow Mitch?

Explanation: A cocktail called a Moscow Mule is served in copper mugs. The mint julep is Kentucky Derby's official drink, and Mitch McConnell is the senator from Kentucky who has blocked legislation to stop Russian interference in US elections, earning him the nickname "Moscow Mitch" among his critics.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/elRobRex
πŸ“…︎ Jul 30 2019
🚨︎ report
[need for help] Pun experts, share the best pun you know about academia/professors/education/writing for grants. Any help deeply appreciated!

EDIT: We plan to place it on the mug as a gift, so it should be relatively short

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sedulas
πŸ“…︎ Sep 19 2020
🚨︎ report
Got mugged by some limbed fruit yesterday..

can't believe i was a victim of armed strobbery.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FlipSix3Hole_
πŸ“…︎ May 15 2019
🚨︎ report
Someone stole my coffee cup.

Now I have to go to the police station and look at mug shots.

πŸ‘︎ 54
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πŸ‘€︎ u/coadnamedalex
πŸ“…︎ Sep 19 2020
🚨︎ report
What side of the mug is the handle on?

The outside.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Fourwheeling02
πŸ“…︎ Feb 05 2019
🚨︎ report
I was about to get mugged by these guys on the street

But I saw it coming and instinctively ran. My adrenaline was pumping as they were chasing after me and I kept glancing over my shoulder and they were big guys and catching up to me! Luckily a gun shop was open, so I ran in, all the way to the back of the store and leaned against a large metal cabinet used for locking up guns. The clerk saw me and said: "Are you okay, can I help you?"

I put my hands on the cool metal of that cabinet, caught my breath and said: "Thanks. I feel safe now"

*edit wording

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/webguy1975
πŸ“…︎ May 17 2019
🚨︎ report
A midget got mugged

How can anyone stoop so low?

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/profedon
πŸ“…︎ Jun 09 2019
🚨︎ report
What did the home owner say to the mug shot when he put it up on his wall

"You've been framed!"

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ousscar
πŸ“…︎ Jun 28 2019
🚨︎ report
I came home and found my girlfriend naked, except for a porcelain mug on each breast

She said she was a t-cup.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tango91
πŸ“…︎ Apr 09 2019
🚨︎ report
I got mugged by six dwarves...

Not Happy!

πŸ‘︎ 42
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Heybroletsparty
πŸ“…︎ Oct 10 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did the coffee file a police report?

It got mugged.

πŸ‘︎ 133
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Imholt11
πŸ“…︎ Nov 22 2020
🚨︎ report
I got mugged by six dwarves last night

Not Happy.

πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Stoatwobbler
πŸ“…︎ Jan 26 2019
🚨︎ report
How about it

Why did the coffee file a police report

It got mugged

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/OwnSpecialist8
πŸ“…︎ Dec 01 2020
🚨︎ report
I got mugged by 6 dwarves last night...

Not happy !

πŸ‘︎ 117
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πŸ‘€︎ u/gonglesquat
πŸ“…︎ Feb 21 2019
🚨︎ report
There I was this morning, sitting and drinking coffee in my slippers, I thought to myself...

I really need to clean some mugs

πŸ‘︎ 142
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πŸ‘€︎ u/potato_fish12
πŸ“…︎ Sep 27 2020
🚨︎ report

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