What did the home owner say to the mug shot when he put it up on his wall

"You've been framed!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ousscar
πŸ“…︎ Jun 28 2019
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Mug shot
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SWEJO
πŸ“…︎ May 07 2015
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Your average mug shot
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Streaplerz
πŸ“…︎ Jun 09 2013
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If prisoners could take their own mug shots...

...would they be called cellfies?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Apr 16 2017
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Why did the coffee get arrested?

Someone called the cups. They took his mug shot.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sand_Pip3r
πŸ“…︎ Oct 16 2020
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Someone stole my coffee cup.

Now I have to go to the police station and look at mug shots.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/coadnamedalex
πŸ“…︎ Sep 19 2020
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I dare you to read this

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Last night I got mugged by 6 dwarves. Not Happy.

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I called the animal shelter today and said "I've found six kittens in a suitcase in the woods." They said "Are they moving?" I replied "I don't know, but that would explain the suitcase."

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19 and 20 got into a fight… 21.

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Did you know that on average, people want three covers on their bed at all times? But that’s just a blanket statem

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kinjago
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2019
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Someone stole my coffee cup..

I'm going to the police station to look at mug shots.

(I like this version better, that's all.)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SillyFlyGuy
πŸ“…︎ Dec 05 2017
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My dad’s version of β€œThe Night Before Christmas”

A Christmas Poem
by Dad (1952–2009)

'Twas the night before Christmas and all through the shack,
Not a creature was stirring, we was all in the sack;

Our mugs were placed on the mantle with cheer,
In hope that Saint Nick would bring us a beer;

And me I was tucked up all snug in my bed,
But strains of sweet music still danced through my head;

So I sprang from my bed with a crash and a clatter,
And off down the hall with bare feet did I patter;

There on the chair sat my musical pipe,
So I sat down to play without fanfare or hype;

Come Mozart, come Hayden, Stravinski and Strauss,
And write me some music to bring down the house;

When down from the chimney appeared with a crash,
A strange little man in the smoke and the ash;

He wiggled and jumped and got up like a shot,
Came over and said, "Man those cinders are hot!";

His stomach it shook like a bowl full of jelly,
For a moment I thought it was dear old aunt Nelly;

His nose like a cherry, his ears like two jugs,
I was worried that this guy just might be on drugs;

His language was foul, his jokes they were crass,
So I opened the door and threw him out on his ass;

But then as I turned, boy was I ever surprised;
I saw what he'd bought me, or so I surmised;

For there in the corner right under the tree,
Was some brand new sheet music and a case of O.V.;

I turned to say thank-you but found he had gone,
He was not in the garden and not on the lawn;

And just when I thought that he couldn't get far,
I realized the old goat had stolen the car;

Off in the distance he said with a wheeze,
"I hated to do it but you left me the keys!";

I smiled and laughed for this much I could savour,
For I'd just sold the car to my idiot neighbour;

And once more he called as he drove out of sight,
"Merry Christmas to all, and don't drive when you're tight!"

Thank you for everything, Dad. We love and miss you.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CannonBall7
πŸ“…︎ Dec 25 2016
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My friend is annoyed because it took so long to euthanize his coffee cup.

He told me they had to get his mug shot and everything.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mkaic
πŸ“…︎ Dec 18 2017
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Saw these lined up against the wall...
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πŸ‘€︎ u/theintention
πŸ“…︎ Apr 24 2017
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At the Renaissance Faire today

I was at the local Renaissance Faire with some friends today and we went to see the blacksmith. They had some cool mugs and shot glasses without price tags, so my friend asked how much everything was.

Blacksmith: These mugs cost this much [yada yada yada] and these shot glasses are $18.

Me: Shouldn't they be $21?

The blacksmith groaned. I made a blacksmith groan.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Stale56
πŸ“…︎ Aug 03 2014
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I took a picture of my coffee cup with my new SLR camera

It made a great mug shot.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/r_notfound
πŸ“…︎ Apr 16 2016
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Prison guard dad brought this gem home Friday.

What would you call it if prisoners took their own mug-shots?

Cellfies!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/eatshitgriz
πŸ“…︎ Mar 02 2014
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