WHO says the global risk of Coronavirus is 'moderate'

The World Health Organization

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πŸ‘€︎ u/hbacorn
πŸ“…︎ Jan 28 2020
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We have a moderate grasp of the Spanish language in my family

Drove past the llama ranch that's just outside our town, and I asked 'Are the llamas out?' 'No, no llamas.' responded my brother.

Dad chimes in with 'What? No llamas? How do they know what to call them?'

((like Como se llama))

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πŸ‘€︎ u/theChristy
πŸ“…︎ Apr 13 2014
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My doctor said I should drink alcohol in moderation. I don't think I can control my drinking...

... but it's worth a shot!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thirteen_20
πŸ“…︎ Nov 05 2020
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r/dadjokes is recruiting moderators, join us!

Update: Thanks for all your applications! Give /u/parin89 and I a few days to take a look and confer!
(if you haven't put your application in yet, you've still got time)

-

Greetings /r/dadjokes subscribers,

Years have passed since this sub started up, and there are now literally millions of you. Whoa.

Two million people is just two many two handle for two moderators. Especially these days, when both /u/parin89 and I have two many other responsibilities and a whole lot less time. I'm 200% sure most of you would agree that more mods are needed.

So we're looking for 5 more moderators to get involved. If you're keen to apply, read the rest of this post and answer the three questions in your comment response.

Answer these 3 questions in your reply:

  1. How would you describe a dad joke?
  2. Do you currently moderate any other subreddits? If yes, which ones.
  3. You see a post that is not breaking the rules or reddit's posting guidelines, but is generally disliked by the community. What do you do?

Only apply if:

  • You're a reasonable, fair-minded and patient human
  • You're in it to keep this community a happy, friendly and safe place for other humans
  • You've got previous mod experience from a decent sized community (let's say... 5k+)
  • You're cool with the first few months being a trial run
  • You understand that while we could use more active moderation, and would benefit from a few more rules, one of the things that makes this community great is that it's pretty open (after all, dad jokes repeat a lot and not every "repost" is necessarily an opportunistic attempt to game karma)

We'd benefit from a few practical things as well, it would be great if:

  • You live in a timezone that covers off either the USA, the UK, Australia (we'd like a spread)
  • You've got some automod experience
  • You've got some sub-customisation experience

Don't apply if:

  • You're ready to come out swinging with a power tripping ban hammer
  • You're more concerned about Internet points than real people

We'll leave this stickied for a week and then come back to message a few people and make some selections.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tali3sin
πŸ“…︎ Oct 14 2019
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What's a Fahrenheit?

A moderately tall person.

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πŸ“…︎ Dec 07 2020
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A generous moderator of a subreddit walks into a bar.

And orders everyone around.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Feb 24 2018
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I have never seen the moderators...

Maybe I can’t see in high dev-initian?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SkyThunderStorm22
πŸ“…︎ Feb 13 2019
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[meta] Welcome to our new moderators!

I don’t know if I missed a post announcing them or something, but I noticed the new mods were chosen for this sub and added! I would like to say welcome from all of us at r/dadjokes to u/ phreephorm u/anarousedcatfish u/cutek9 u/yayoletsgo u/suitinguncle620 and u/blank-cheque Welcome to the team and we look forward to having y’all.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mopfloor1
πŸ“…︎ Nov 06 2019
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Just been to that new store called Moderation

They have everything in there

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mynameisfogle
πŸ“…︎ Feb 20 2019
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REQUEST FOR MODERATORS: Topical Flairs For Jokes?

I don't see this happening, but it would be nice if there were topical post flairs we could mark our dad jokes with. For example "movies", "kitchen", "car", "job", "wife", "mother-n-law", etc. I suppose the possibilities are endless, which probably means it won't be happening. But, you'll be cooler than my dad, if you do. :-) There is a lot of comedy gold on here, which would be great to have these to sort by when inspiration fails to strike.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RCRadioCarbon
πŸ“…︎ Jun 20 2019
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Noice!
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dhastroyer
πŸ“…︎ Dec 10 2019
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Get it..?
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cfoster14
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2019
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I hear there is a new store opening up nearby, and it’s called Moderation.

They say it has everything in it.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dohpaz42
πŸ“…︎ Jun 05 2019
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Double pun.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MemaholicCreeper
πŸ“…︎ Dec 20 2019
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Ha ha
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mask3dman805
πŸ“…︎ Nov 17 2019
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A shocking story

My freshman year in high school (96-97), I was in choir, and we drove up in a big coach bus to Magic Mountain for a choir competition.

Approaching San Onofre, the driver told us a "little known fact" that if you put your hand on the window while passing under those jumbo power lines coming from the plant, you can feel a moderately painful shock. Being gullible teenagers, a lot of us tried it.

We passed under, and the driver asked if we felt any pain. There were scattered replies in the negative. The diver said, "You didn't feel the window pane?"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Wasntmyproudest
πŸ“…︎ Aug 27 2020
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I'm campaigning to become a moderator of /r/dadjokes. This is the platform I'm running on.

http://imgur.com/szcPODP

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BiiVii
πŸ“…︎ Mar 29 2016
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[MOD POST] Hunting for an additional moderator. Read and apply within.

EDIT: I am now closing applications and will make a decision in the next day or so. Thank you to everybody who applied - the general enthusiasm and support is wonderful to see.

( as this is a self post, I receive no karma - however I would appreciate it if you upvoted purely for visibility <3 )

Hey everybody,

The /r/dadjokes community is now over 85,000 subscribers strong. That's pretty great. Pretty super great.

Thus far, over the entire existence of this sub, I have been the only mod. Quietly watching, taking your feedback, removing a post here, approving another there - doing my best not to interfere too much. I'm going to be honest, it hasn't been that hard.

You lot are generally a pretty nice bunch, give or take a few of the more vocal lunatics. There isn't usually a lot of work to be done, or issues that need resolving.

That said, I'm not awake all the time. I can't lurk on Reddit all the time. I don't have all-seeing eyes.

So it's about time I gave another pair of eyes moderator status and entrusted those eyes with a duty of care.

Let's get down to the chase; here's what I'm looking for in an additional mod:

  • You live in a very different timezone to Syd, AU - GMT+10
  • You have a good sense of humour
  • You're not in this purely to grow your 'net rep
  • You're interested in being fair, and maintaining fairness
  • You maintain civility in yourself and your responses at all times
  • You have a bit of time every day to go through reports, spam, and post comments
  • You understand that your moderatorship will initially be a trial, and can be revoked at any time if you aren't being magical and rad
  • Some general CSS/subreddit formatting knowledge wouldn't go astray, but is not required

Here's what I am not looking for:

  • Strong, cemented opinions about what constitutes a dad joke and what doesn't - everybody's dad and humour is different
  • An overzealous post remover - I am not looking for an enforcer, the title moderator implies moderation
  • A(nother) dictator - it is my preference that this subreddit be gently guided, and not forcibly ruled, we let the community find itself and we listen to what they say

If you wish to apply for the title and duty of being a moderator to /r/dadjokes, simply state your case (why you should be selected, what benefits or experience you bring, etc) in a comment reply to this thread. I will then get in touch with the most worthy seeming applicants. Upvotes and downvites will not be taken int

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tali3sin
πŸ“…︎ Nov 03 2013
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OMG
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πŸ‘€︎ u/rocketshoe21
πŸ“…︎ Nov 17 2019
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What do you call a joke without a punchline?

This is supposed to be empty but the auto-moderator spoiled my joke.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/knanshon
πŸ“…︎ Sep 04 2020
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heh fencing
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CartoonNet
πŸ“…︎ Nov 18 2019
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Does this count as a pun?
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Wizartti
πŸ“…︎ Nov 20 2019
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High maintenance
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πŸ‘€︎ u/eric-99
πŸ“…︎ Nov 18 2019
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And there we have it
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Radish00
πŸ“…︎ Nov 16 2019
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What is Reddit moderator's favourite song?

Radiohead - karma police

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Unicorncorn21
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2016
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My wife she needed a smart man, so I went and got two degrees.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MyJelloJiggles
πŸ“…︎ Nov 20 2019
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If you don’t get this joke then your a boomer
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RebekhaG
πŸ“…︎ Nov 18 2019
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It's cold and dark outside, so I have drawn the curtains.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/theMikethe
πŸ“…︎ Nov 20 2019
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Do you know what they should call the moderators on the cheese subredit?

Mozzarators

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ajanzen098
πŸ“…︎ May 20 2015
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I've decided to stop moderating /r/dadjokes

I never started moderating, so it makes stopping that much easier.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mac-O-War
πŸ“…︎ Nov 06 2013
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Break-in at the Apple Store!

Police searching for iWitnesses...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/flyingtiger79
πŸ“…︎ Nov 17 2019
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My girlfriend asked me to stop singing the Shrek soundtrack, I thought she was joking

but then I saw her face

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πŸ“…︎ Nov 17 2019
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I asked my North Korean friend how life is in North Korea

"I can't complain" He said.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Obsidi3
πŸ“…︎ Oct 06 2019
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Best Golf Pun contest has started

Our Golf Pun contest is starting tonight at 5PM EST. It's free to enter. Winner gets $150 Amazon eGift Card .........

Please invite all the punsters you'd like .......... https://golfpuns.com/index.php

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πŸ‘€︎ u/golfpuns
πŸ“…︎ Dec 12 2019
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I hate it when they do it. imgur.com/gIRYs7u
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πŸ‘€︎ u/hushphatak
πŸ“…︎ Aug 11 2018
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My moderator will make a fine dad...
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ihasamoose
πŸ“…︎ Nov 15 2013
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We have a new design! What do you guys think about it?

Hey, since we (the new mods) joined the sub 1,5 months ago we've made some changes, mostly with the rules and some backend stuff. Now I also updated the icon (slightly) and the banner (on redesign and mobile), too.

What do you guys think about it?

Do you like it? ( Yes/No ). What could be improved about it?

Also, are you happy with how we're moderating the subreddit? Are we too strict with the rules or toulouse too loose? Do the rules even make sense?

We want to improve this subreddit and we need your feedback for that, so feel free to speak your mind!

You can either simply leave a comment down here in the thread or send us a message.

Looking forward to your feedback and have a nice day! :)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/yayoletsgo
πŸ“…︎ Dec 12 2019
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Why is Kim Jong-un's library so big ?

Because he is supreme reader

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πŸ“…︎ Aug 30 2016
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My son was eating out of a bag of Swedish Fish

On Christmas my aunt gave my son a small box of Swedish fish which he immediately devoured. At the moment he threw the empty box on the coffee table I looked at it with wide eyes and said, "Oh look! Now they're Finnish!" He didn't get it.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Polabeya
πŸ“…︎ Dec 28 2016
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If you leave a pear out too long does it turn into a parrot?

Just randomly thought of this, hope it's good and at least moderately original (ik there's a lot of pear puns in general)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Drood100
πŸ“…︎ Jul 19 2019
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124 dad jokes that will make you laugh and cringe

Dad, did you get a haircut? No I got them all cut.

What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car? Carlos.

Dad, can you put my shoes on? No, I don’t think they’ll fit me.

Can I watch the TV? Dad: Yes, but don’t turn it on.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

You know, people say they pick their nose, but I feel like I was just born with mine.

β€œEvery time I hurt myself, even to this day, my dad says, β€˜The good news is..it’ll feel better when it quits hurting.'”

What’s brown and sticky? A stick.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.

Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon? Great food, no atmosphere.

β€œI’ll call you later!”- β€œPlease don’t do that. I’ve always asked you to call me Dad!”

Q: Why did the cookie cry? A: Because his father was a wafer so long!

What did the mountain climber name his son? Cliff.

This graveyard looks overcrowded. People must be dying to get in there.

β€œMy dad literally told me this one last week: β€˜Did you hear about the guy who invented Lifesavers? They say he made a mint.’”

β€œWhenever the cashier at the grocery store asks my dad if he would like the milk in a bag he replies, β€˜No, just leave it in the carton!’”

I got so angry the other day when I couldn’t find my stress ball.

If I had a dime for every book I’ve ever read, I’d say: β€œWow, that’s coincidental.”

I’m not indecisive. Unless you want me to be.

How many apples grow on a tree? All of them.

How does a penguin build it’s house? Igloos it together.

β€œMe: β€˜Dad, make me a sandwich!’ Dad: β€˜Poof, You’re a sandwich!’”

β€œI heard there was a new store called Moderation. They have everything there

A steak pun is a rare medium well done.

β€œHow can you tell if a ant is a boy or a girl? They’re all girls, otherwise they’d be uncles.”

Milk is also the fastest liquid on earth – its pasteurized before you even see it

β€œWhat’s Forrest Gump’s password? 1forrest1”

The only thing worse than having diarrhea is having to spell it.

I asked my friend to help me with a math problem. He said: β€œDon’t worry; this is a piece of cake.” I said: β€œNo, it’s a math problem.”

I keep trying to lose weight, but it keeps finding me.

I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport. I’m just doing it for kicks.

Did I tell you the time I fell in love during a backflip? I was heels over head.

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

Why do you never see elephants hiding in trees?

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/weeb123xD
πŸ“…︎ May 19 2019
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And open letter for the moderators at r/dadjokes:

U

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πŸ‘€︎ u/YouSellingMeh
πŸ“…︎ Dec 08 2018
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I heard there was a new store called Moderation...

They have everything in there...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Nov 12 2016
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You guys here of that new store Moderation?

They have everything there.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/AndreT_NY
πŸ“…︎ Aug 12 2016
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