What does Mission Impossible's star give when he f**ks up?

excruises

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Hurtkopain
πŸ“…︎ Feb 06 2021
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Peta has a new militant wing, with the mission of enforcing vegan lifestyle..

It’s called Al-Quinoa

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Beewthanitch
πŸ“…︎ Nov 15 2020
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Why do mission controllers count down on takeoff?

If they counted up the space shuttle would never take off.

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πŸ“…︎ Nov 10 2020
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My first reddit for-rum sub mission
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πŸ‘€︎ u/L_Kuips
πŸ“…︎ Sep 27 2020
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I keep hearing Mission Control check in with Dragon Crew, asking "How do you read, over."

And I just KNOW if I were up there I would be physically unable to keep myself from responding "Dragon to Mission Control, I read with my eyes, over." I wonder how many times before they airlock me.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/H_G_Bells
πŸ“…︎ May 31 2020
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I have a joke about a mission to the moon, but it's really bad...

I Apollo-gize.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/maud_brijeulin
πŸ“…︎ Mar 22 2020
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Canada is planning a mission to the moon

We're calling our spaceship the Apollo-G.

πŸ‘︎ 174
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πŸ‘€︎ u/habsfan1112
πŸ“…︎ Aug 16 2019
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I'm a member of the Galactic Senate on a dimplomatic mission to Alderaan - Princess Leia

Hi, I'm a member of the Imperial Senate on a diplomatic mission to Alderaan, I'm dad - Darth Vader

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jwelshie64
πŸ“…︎ Feb 01 2020
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As a mafia hitman, my story of a successful mission I was assigned--which had me assassinate a decade of mob bosses--usually started as similarly sounding like the layman's term of the fibrous tissue along the calves and heels...

"I killed these ten Dons..."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MabalsaRitchie
πŸ“…︎ Mar 30 2020
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mission failed we'll get em next time
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πŸ‘€︎ u/GroovyExeggutor
πŸ“…︎ Sep 20 2019
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The local zoo just started a recycling collection program to support its mission

When you bring in one can, you can save Toucans

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πŸ“…︎ Oct 21 2019
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What do you call an astronaut who was in a failed mission?

an Astro-not

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MrHamod
πŸ“…︎ Oct 20 2018
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Why was mission control so tense when NASA launched a cow into orbit?

It was a high steaks mission.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/zspratt
πŸ“…︎ Jan 11 2019
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If i was an astronaut, before every mission i would sit down with my wife and tell her

"listen honey, its not that i want a divorce, i just think i need some space." Then i would put on my helmet and slow walk to the launch pad.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ASpellingAirror
πŸ“…︎ Oct 07 2015
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It's great that we're starting to use the term "crewed" for astronaut missions.

"maned missions" was getting pretty crude.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VaiterZen
πŸ“…︎ Jul 31 2019
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My children are now under the assumption that "Dorito" is Spanish for "Orange Triangle". Lunchtime mission accomplished.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DrawForChange
πŸ“…︎ Jun 18 2019
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I love to cook spaghetti, but am really bad at serving... it's a real mission in-pasta-bowl.

I really noodle get better at it.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/patentpunk
πŸ“…︎ Mar 10 2019
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Where does a suicide bomber go on his final mission?

Everywhere

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πŸ“…︎ Aug 28 2018
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MISSION IMPUNSIBLE

Reddit, I need your collective minds to create puns based on a certain word, which is below. The pun that Reddit and I both enjoy most will be broadcasted for the world to see. Have fun!

WORD: Flour

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ctrexrhino
πŸ“…︎ Jan 09 2017
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How does NASA prepare for missions?

They planet!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/agajeski
πŸ“…︎ May 06 2018
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With NASA's new mission to the sun...

let's hope that the spacecraft is in-sol-uble

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheBroDingo
πŸ“…︎ Mar 07 2018
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In my mission to promote medical marijuana amongst marine birds,

I shall leave no tern unstoned.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Pedantichrist
πŸ“…︎ Nov 16 2017
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what do you call it when a mafia boss named Ana Conda sends his snobbish criminal henchman to go on a mission that includes said henchman to go down multiple flights of stairs?

Conda sending condecending con decending

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jackg4444
πŸ“…︎ Aug 15 2015
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Mission Impossumable! youtu.be/Eg5pdilyop0
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Romanizer727
πŸ“…︎ Oct 06 2014
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My mission as a dad is complete.

'V' is my 4 year old son:

http://imgur.com/fr7PzTI

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πŸ‘€︎ u/magicmaestro
πŸ“…︎ Jan 08 2016
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