That's mine pun
If you open your mind to the wind, you will be mind blown
A buddy of mine named his dog “5 Miles” so he could tell people he walked 5 miles
But today he ran over 5 Miles
A friend of mine went bald years ago, but still carries around an old comb.
He just can't part with it.
A friend of mine tried to annoy me with bird puns.
Toucan play at that game.
Locksmith friend of mine just retired, said he never once got rained out.
It seems that all of his work was in doors.
A friend of mine makes good money selling camel’s milk, but he has to put up with surly camels all day.
A friend of mine is a dermatologist
He started his career from scratch.
Why don’t chickens like to mine for gold?
They might find a nugget.
I told my wife I was going to accompany her to get her Covid Vaccine, and see if they could do mine as well. She said they probably wouldn't. I replied, "I don't know..."
A friend of mine told me he was looking to buy stock in Bose.
I told him it would be a sound investment.
I was gutted this afternoon when my wife told me my 5 year old son wasn't actually mine.
She then said I need to pay more attention at school pick up.
A friend of mine just said to me “I’m training to be garbage man”
I said “You don’t need training for that! You just pick it up as you go along”
What do you call a monkey in a mine field?
A friend of mine asked me how much I spend on a bottle of wine...
I said, "Oooh!! About 15 minutes. "
We all have that one vegan friend.... I said to mine,"Do you have to mention vegetables every time you open your mouth?"
She said, "Not neccecelery."
A friend of mine has starting collecting mirrors
Personally, I don't know what he sees in them.
So I’m at dinner with the fam, telling the joke about what the kid with no arms got for Christmas (we still don’t know because he hasn’t opened them yet)...I set it up...a friend of mine at work has a kid...no arms...and deliver the punchline...
And my 10 year old son, completely deadpan, tells me
‘Dad, I knew that story wasn’t real because you don’t have any friends’
👻👻💀💀☠️☠️ It took me a solid 5 minutes to stop laughing.
I have achieved Dad level 10 at raising my kids
There were no mines in Soviet Russia
How does one mine for data?
A friend of mine needs skin grafts for surgery, but thankfully, he doesn't need donors.
That's no skin off of my nose!
Not mine just wanted to share some funny stuff
A friend of mine just died from eating too many herbs
A friend of mine cut his finger off at work...
I suppose he'll be getting severance pay.
Image belongs to cyanide and happiness it's not mine but thought you would enjoy it.
A friend of mine just named their child Geneva.
It’s rather too conventional for me...
I work in a sauce factory and saw an old friend of mine
I walked over to him and said, " Hey! haven't seen you in a really long time! Let's Ketchup!"
There was an accident at the coal mine
Nothing too serious, just some miner damage
An old mine shaft collapsed on a bunch of workers the other day.
But it’s okay, they only suffered miner injuries.
Not mine but a good pun user who made this deserves rewards
I wrote a song to memorialize the man killed when a piano fell down a mine shaft.
Why are there no cafes in mines?
Because coffee should never be made under-ground.
When my great-grandad went bald, he built a machine to weave himself a wig out of yarn. He then gave it to my grandad, who then gave it to my dad - and one day, it will be mine.
It’s our family hair loom.
So I started dating an OBGYN that said her job was more dangerous than mine.
So I asked what her riskiest encounter was. She said she did not know, but she learned early to give mothers with fat babies a wide berth.
THE LAND MINE WAS A....
GROUND BREAKING DISCOVERY
its not mine but i found this and thought it was good so i am sharing it
A friend of mine does not know how to spell the word "Christmas".
He just knows it has no L.
Not mine: Where do you take someone injured in a Peek-a-Boo accident?
A friend of mine got into photographing salmon in different clothing.
He said he liked shooting fish in apparel.
Forgive my brain, but I felt the urge to share this baby of mine
A friend of mine was in the band mood but I had a list of 10 puns to try to cheer him up.
Mine would just say "I'm glad you enjoyed my free Willy and we had a whale of a time, but we need to sea otter whales."
I was devastated this afternoon, when my wife said my 5 year old son wasn't mine...
She said I need to pay more attention at school pick up.
What do you call a monkey in a mine field?
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