The kid who microwaved his toy construction blocks ended up with
I accidentally microwaved a few one dollar bills.
Now there really are some hot singles in my area.
Did you hear about the kid that microwaved a spoonful of yogurt?
It was a real culture shock.
Someone microwaved fish in a crowded room.
If you think your microwave collecting data and the TV spying on you is bad enough,
the vaccum cleaner has been
gathering dirt on you for years.
A group of soldiers were fed up with their higher ups they managed to shove a colonel into a microwave
My husband said our infant son could microwave...
And then shook his arm really fast.
(True story, please groan with me.)
How long should you microwave fish for?
What is the opposite of a microwave?
I explained to my son, "If you think our microwave, phone and TV spying on us is bad..."
"Our vacuum cleaner has been gathering dirt on us for years!"
Did you hear about the jury in the microwave oven serial killer trial?
My son just came up to me with his microwave popcorn
"I don't know what this tastes like... because it's a Pop-Secret"
That's my boy!
Anytime I have a microwave meal, I always turn on “The Golden Eye.”
The instructions say: Pierce Film before cooking.
To Wife: "I'll upgrade the circuit breaker so it quits tripping on the microwave & coffee pot"
Her: "Good, I'm really tired of the current situation."
...
I laughed so hard. She didn't get it.
Why is metal and a microwave a match made in heaven? When they met, sparks flew.
What's the perfect amount to time to microwave your popcorn?
I can't tell you....it's pop-secret
microwave.
It's how you're greeted on Dirty Jobs
Son: Is this microwave friendly? *Shows a cup of noodles*
Dad: I never thought about it.
Turns to the microwave
"Are you friendly Mr. Microwave?"
What do you call a dwarf signaling hello?
What washes up on tiny beaches?
When I was growing up I always had a microwave.
As I grew older and gained more confidence, now I have a normal wave. 👋🏽
I am 100% certain that I make the greatest microwaveable waffles on Earth
But you may think I'm just an Eggomaniac
How does a microphone say hello?
With a microwave! (Just told by my 6 yo. So proud right now)
How do you turn a duck into a soul singer?
Put it in the microwave until it's bill withers
Two microwaves had an argument
I threw a kitchen appliance into the ocean thinking it would make a big splash...
But it was only a microwave.
What small greeting is used amongst kitchen appliances?
Why does a microwave hum?
Because it doesn't know the words
We got a new microwave at work. After heating my food for the first time in the new microwave I go to my colleagues and say to them "I just cut my fingers on the new microwave!"
They all startled "what happened?"
I reply "it's Sharp!"
They murmured something and left the room...
What do microwave dinners and disappointed movie directors have in common?
Microwave
(noun) A hand gesture used by a midget as a greeting.
Cool, that midget over there just gave me a microwave!
^{Source: ^Bullwade ^Anguish ^Dictionary}
What do you get on a tiny beach?
[Picture] Im selling a microwave on facebook and asked my dad to send me pictures of the inside of it to show a buyer.
I wasn't disappointed
https://imgur.com/gallery/gCDyE8C
I once knew a priest that only ate microwave soup.
Why do microwaves always mess up wifi...
...when every one I've tried creates hotspots?
Why couldn’t the microwave watch porn online?
Because it was only fans.
If you think that your microwave collecting data and the TV spying on you is bad enough...
the vaccum cleaner has been gathering dirt on you for years...
What's the perfect amount of time to microwave your popcorn?
I can't tell you...it's pop secret
If you think that your phone, laptop, microwave and fridge spying on you is bad
Then you should know that your vaccum cleaner has been collecting dirt on you for a while .
How long do you microwave fish?
I snuck up behind my daughter and whispered, "I think our microwave and our TV are spying on us!!! And I also think our vacuum cleaner..."
"...has been gathering dirt on us for years!"
What washes up on tiny beaches?
What's the opposite of a microwave?
What washes up on tiny beaches?
How do you turn a duck into a musical icon...
Put it in the microwave until its bill withers
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