Why did the stone mason break up with the con artist?

He was taken for granite.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/billbixbyakahulk
πŸ“…︎ Jul 20 2020
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What do you get when you cross a mason and a detective?

Concrete evidence.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Agent256
πŸ“…︎ Jun 26 2020
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What did the masons of the Taj Mahal sing to their creation?

Your body's a wonderland, I'll lose my hands!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/holocaust_uterus
πŸ“…︎ Jun 18 2020
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Did you hear the one about the stone mason who was married to a con artist?

She took him for granite.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/billbixbyakahulk
πŸ“…︎ Mar 17 2020
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What happens when you put Jar Jar Binks in a Mason jar and slightly open it?

you get a Jar Jar in an Ajar Jar.

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MyNameIsKanya
πŸ“…︎ Jul 29 2019
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What is it called when a bunch of carpenters and masons on the cruise?

Craftmanship

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SkyStar1991
πŸ“…︎ Sep 28 2019
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Ohno mason
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πŸ‘€︎ u/d13n3m4n
πŸ“…︎ Dec 18 2018
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My name is Mason and I'm a stoner.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Masonlevyofficial
πŸ“…︎ Dec 20 2018
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The make-and-take breakfast in a mason jar didn't turn out too well...

Wife: I think this jar doesn't close properly... Me: Now, now, don't shoot the mason jar!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ardil
πŸ“…︎ Feb 12 2016
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What does a mason read in his spare time?

The wallpaper

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Alleskeins
πŸ“…︎ Jul 08 2018
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I invented a new drink... when imbibing milk from a mason jar...

I call it mooshine

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Erisianistic
πŸ“…︎ Feb 26 2015
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What do you call a stolen jar?

A free mason.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/420BlazeIt187
πŸ“…︎ Sep 19 2020
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There was a suspicious β€˜accident’ at a construction site. The police investigated all the workers at the job site . . .

It looked like foul play. The mason wasn’t a suspect. He had a concrete alibi. The night of the accident he said he was with his girlfriend. She confirmed this. There was a wall of evidence. Consequently his alibi was rock solid and not just a facade. There was damning evidence that it was the plumber. They figured his alibi, that he was at the casino, wouldn’t hold water. But cameras showed fluid betting all night. This, obviously, threw a wrench in the investigation. The investigators followed a lead to the electrician. He had a shocking secret. It seems the electrician had been charged with battery only months earlier. But it was a dead end. They looked at the HVAC installer, but his alibi was airtight. Next, they tried to nail the Roofer, as he had been spouting off about the victim the day of the accident. But the roofer had been hammered all day. There was no way they could paint him as the cunning mastermind.

Then they saw the writing on the wall: the painter had both motive and opportunity. He was seen canvassing the accident site a few strokes before midnight when the accident occurred. The victim fell off a faulty ladder that was covered in finger paint. It seems the victim and the painter had a few brush-ins before. And it wasn’t a pretty picture. The painter was indicted, but despite all the evidence, the charges didn’t stick and the jury let him roll off clean.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dirty_Entendre
πŸ“…︎ Feb 18 2018
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Why did the chicken cross the road?

To see a man lay a brick.

[My dad was a brick and stone mason, and he loved to tell this joke.]

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BackwoodsCoder
πŸ“…︎ Apr 18 2019
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Dad, can I join your secret society?

Yes, you mason.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bigfoothobbit
πŸ“…︎ Sep 11 2018
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I'm a street performer at the Minnesota Renaissance Festival. I tell punny jokes there, thought you'd enjoy them.

The King is in love with the Spanish Armada, in fact you could say he warships it.

I got into a fight with a group of jesters, I escaped by going for the juggler.

I recently read "Gulliver's Travels" it was a Swift read.

Have you read the book about traveling through hell? It's a Dante-ing read.

Q: How many animals can you fight into the Lord High Sheriff's tights? A: Ten piggies, two calves, a rooster and an ass.

Vikings raided the royal cheese supply, they left nothing behind but de Brie.

I met a wizard, I told him he looked like a mana action.

The unskilled mason forget to put a water supply in the new castle. He did not keep well.

The angry archer was so surly he had everyone convinced he was a cross bowman.

The failed stone cutter also lost his job as a bounty hunter. He could never find his quarry.

The nun kept spilling sacramental wine on herself. She made a bad habit of it.

The pope enjoys chocolate on his boat. He like sailing indulgences.

The pope loves summer, they say he is infallible.

Two fae fell in love. They keep fauning over each other.

The knight suffered from boils, he had to get them lanced.

Why did the wood nymph use some much lotion? Because she had dryad skin.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kbdekker
πŸ“…︎ Sep 09 2016
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Dad, can I build a wall outside?

Yes, you mason.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/stefanopolis
πŸ“…︎ Aug 09 2018
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My Dad Loves his Construction Jokes

Dad: Did you know that mason apprentices learn on a trowel and error basis?

Dad: Hueehhh huueehhh hueegghhh

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SCHMAPaFOODLES
πŸ“…︎ Jul 22 2014
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I just couldn't let this joke go by

I found a apron at the store that had tomatoes in a mason jar and said " I can, because I can." So I took a picture and sent it to a friend.

  • Me: (sent picture) I wanted to get this for you
  • Her: Why would you get that for me? I don't can.
  • Me: But don't you see? You can can!
πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Pinetreewhisperer
πŸ“…︎ Jun 15 2014
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