He was taken for granite.
Concrete evidence.
Your body's a wonderland, I'll lose my hands!
She took him for granite.
you get a Jar Jar in an Ajar Jar.
Craftmanship
Wife: I think this jar doesn't close properly... Me: Now, now, don't shoot the mason jar!
The wallpaper
I call it mooshine
A free mason.
It looked like foul play. The mason wasnβt a suspect. He had a concrete alibi. The night of the accident he said he was with his girlfriend. She confirmed this. There was a wall of evidence. Consequently his alibi was rock solid and not just a facade. There was damning evidence that it was the plumber. They figured his alibi, that he was at the casino, wouldnβt hold water. But cameras showed fluid betting all night. This, obviously, threw a wrench in the investigation. The investigators followed a lead to the electrician. He had a shocking secret. It seems the electrician had been charged with battery only months earlier. But it was a dead end. They looked at the HVAC installer, but his alibi was airtight. Next, they tried to nail the Roofer, as he had been spouting off about the victim the day of the accident. But the roofer had been hammered all day. There was no way they could paint him as the cunning mastermind.
Then they saw the writing on the wall: the painter had both motive and opportunity. He was seen canvassing the accident site a few strokes before midnight when the accident occurred. The victim fell off a faulty ladder that was covered in finger paint. It seems the victim and the painter had a few brush-ins before. And it wasnβt a pretty picture. The painter was indicted, but despite all the evidence, the charges didnβt stick and the jury let him roll off clean.
To see a man lay a brick.
[My dad was a brick and stone mason, and he loved to tell this joke.]
Yes, you mason.
The King is in love with the Spanish Armada, in fact you could say he warships it.
I got into a fight with a group of jesters, I escaped by going for the juggler.
I recently read "Gulliver's Travels" it was a Swift read.
Have you read the book about traveling through hell? It's a Dante-ing read.
Q: How many animals can you fight into the Lord High Sheriff's tights? A: Ten piggies, two calves, a rooster and an ass.
Vikings raided the royal cheese supply, they left nothing behind but de Brie.
I met a wizard, I told him he looked like a mana action.
The unskilled mason forget to put a water supply in the new castle. He did not keep well.
The angry archer was so surly he had everyone convinced he was a cross bowman.
The failed stone cutter also lost his job as a bounty hunter. He could never find his quarry.
The nun kept spilling sacramental wine on herself. She made a bad habit of it.
The pope enjoys chocolate on his boat. He like sailing indulgences.
The pope loves summer, they say he is infallible.
Two fae fell in love. They keep fauning over each other.
The knight suffered from boils, he had to get them lanced.
Why did the wood nymph use some much lotion? Because she had dryad skin.
Yes, you mason.
Dad: Did you know that mason apprentices learn on a trowel and error basis?
Dad: Hueehhh huueehhh hueegghhh
I found a apron at the store that had tomatoes in a mason jar and said " I can, because I can." So I took a picture and sent it to a friend.
- Me: (sent picture) I wanted to get this for you
- Her: Why would you get that for me? I don't can.
- Me: But don't you see? You can can!
