There are no losers when eating hot dogs. Only wieners.
πŸ‘︎ 43
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πŸ‘€︎ u/wyllyam1111
πŸ“…︎ Dec 19 2020
🚨︎ report
The Biggest Loser’s contestant talking about his opponent:

β€œI’m not worried about her, she is a lightweight.”

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/afarro
πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2020
🚨︎ report
Beck always said he was a loser. How would you make him into a know-it-all?

Put him in a treehouse. That way, he would be Tree-Beck instead.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DENelson83
πŸ“…︎ Nov 10 2020
🚨︎ report
Bilbo Baggins wakes up to hear β€œI’m a Loser Baby” for the third day in a row.

It was There and Beck again.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/maxgroover
πŸ“…︎ Oct 26 2020
🚨︎ report
Why are foot fetishists losers?

'Cause they like de feet

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CaptainHungover
πŸ“…︎ Sep 08 2020
🚨︎ report
Seems a little inappropriate having a strip club across the road from Mini golf in town. I’m a pretty liberal guy but if I’m having a day out with my family the last thing I want to look across the road and see is a bunch of losers playing mini golf.
πŸ‘︎ 12k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/rurgtide
πŸ“…︎ May 07 2019
🚨︎ report
Why are people with foot fetish losers?

Because they like to taste defeat.

πŸ‘︎ 116
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πŸ‘€︎ u/babycatslayer
πŸ“…︎ Jan 16 2020
🚨︎ report
My wife's loser ex keeps following us around town. He tries to hide but we can always hear him giggling.

A real laughing stalk.

πŸ‘︎ 21
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CSwork1
πŸ“…︎ Feb 16 2020
🚨︎ report
People who pick their scabs are sore losers.
πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JukeboxSommelier
πŸ“…︎ May 21 2019
🚨︎ report
What did the home inspector say to the sore loser?

Nobody likes a bad support.

(Okay, that was bad. Need better ones please!)

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Haidukenshiruken
πŸ“…︎ Aug 14 2019
🚨︎ report
Tonights biggest loser.
πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BigOleFerret
πŸ“…︎ Jan 12 2019
🚨︎ report
You know why losers always look down?

They're trying to find victory in da feet.

πŸ‘︎ 24
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JDDDouble
πŸ“…︎ Dec 28 2018
🚨︎ report
"Hey Dad, What's this "The Biggest Loser" Video game all about"?

"All I know about it so far is that you're the main character"

πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/chadsreal
πŸ“…︎ Apr 08 2015
🚨︎ report
What's a loser's favorite part of the body?

Da feet

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ArcaniteChill
πŸ“…︎ Dec 25 2014
🚨︎ report
While eating Thai food, my daughter asked β€œWhere is Thailand?”

I said right between winner-land and loser-land

πŸ‘︎ 118
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πŸ‘€︎ u/rhoadsscholar
πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a boxer that got beat up?

A sore loser

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/turborambo
πŸ“…︎ Oct 13 2020
🚨︎ report
Two snails pulled up next to me at a red light.

When the light turned green they sped away.

I looked to my friend and said, β€œlook at that S car go!”

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/davidwayland
πŸ“…︎ Aug 08 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did Loki throw a temper tantrum when he couldn't find his brother during a game of hide and seek?

Because he was a Thor loser

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/costerluver
πŸ“…︎ Jun 03 2020
🚨︎ report
My friend challenged me to a hang gliding race, and he got angry after I beat him.

What a soar loser.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FinalCaveat
πŸ“…︎ Jun 23 2020
🚨︎ report
I got down on one knee and asked her if she'd be the mother to my kids, she said yes...

Guess who's gonna find a bunch of losers in a box tomorrow morning at their doorstep.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ViShAl2212
πŸ“…︎ Jun 13 2020
🚨︎ report
Is this sub still active?

There have been barely any posts all year.

πŸ‘︎ 207
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JohnMickoTheSicko
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01 2019
🚨︎ report
And the best neckwear award goes to...

Oh wait, it’s a tie.

πŸ‘︎ 174
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Blackish_Matt
πŸ“…︎ Jul 28 2018
🚨︎ report
Superman and I had an arm wrestling competition

The loser had to wear their underwear over their pants.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tahmid5
πŸ“…︎ Jan 07 2020
🚨︎ report
What's another word for an underdog?

A subwoofer

πŸ‘︎ 26
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sux_4_bux
πŸ“…︎ Dec 21 2018
🚨︎ report
This new fad diet I'm on is BS. I've lost zero pounds on the taquito diet.
πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Count-Basie
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2018
🚨︎ report
Dad, how is it possible to drink juice using a straw?

Well, hun, pv=nrt.

(Too nerdy?... I think so.. but made me chuckle so sharing for you all loser dads out there)

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/gujjubhai123
πŸ“…︎ Oct 01 2019
🚨︎ report
Icarus flew too close to the sun and failed miserably.

What a soar loser.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/clifwith1f
πŸ“…︎ Oct 05 2019
🚨︎ report
Thor was pretty upset after losing half of his people to Thanos

I guess you could say that he was a Thor loser.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/agfwouldbecool
πŸ“…︎ Aug 27 2019
🚨︎ report
I went to the mirror shop to buy a new mirror.

I walked in and said β€œOi, you big, fat, ugly, bald loser! I want to buy a new mirror!”

The salesman said β€œI’m over here, sir.”

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Freddy_1986
πŸ“…︎ Aug 22 2019
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the injured runner who got last place in the competition?

I guess he was a sore loser.

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ToonyCream
πŸ“…︎ Dec 02 2018
🚨︎ report
What do you call a carpenter without his saw?

A saw loser

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/refrigerator_yeet
πŸ“…︎ Apr 06 2019
🚨︎ report
I'm pretty bitter about having nothing to cut my wood with

You could say I'm a saw loser.

πŸ‘︎ 49
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ask-a-physicist
πŸ“…︎ Apr 06 2016
🚨︎ report
Got Dadburned....

Scene: Halloween night (this is key), I am donned in normal garb (this is even keyer), and am approaching the front door to my parents house...

Me: knocks on door

Dad: opens door

Dad: "You dressed as a loser?"

Me: :(

End Scene.

πŸ‘︎ 313
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ITS_RY_TIME
πŸ“…︎ Nov 11 2014
🚨︎ report
A shocking match

Did you hear about the Chess Grandmaster who, after he lost a match, destroyed the table with a massive hammer and called lightning bolts down to destroy his opponent's car?

He was banned from future competitions for being such a Thor loser.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Oct 18 2015
🚨︎ report
The chicken who?

My daughter just text'd me this:

Smart Ass "Why did the chicken cross the road?"

Gullible Loser "Why?"

SA "To get to the idiot's house."

GL "heh, that was horrible".

Fast forward 5 minutes

SA "Knock Knock"

GL "Who's there"

SA "The chicken"

GL "The chicken who....wait, I see what's coming".

She is so getting flogged when I get home!

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/igloofu
πŸ“…︎ Apr 28 2016
🚨︎ report
I was just trying to enjoy watching Jeopardy with my dad...

At the end of Jeopardy, they say that Aleve gives the 2nd and 3rd place contestants prize money as consolation.

I said, "I wonder why Aleve gives money to 2nd and 3rd place"

Without hesitation, my dad goes, "Guess they just don't want any sore losers."

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/marcusaurelius3
πŸ“…︎ Jan 21 2014
🚨︎ report
What do you call a carpenter who loses his tools?

A saw loser.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/wexel64
πŸ“…︎ Feb 17 2019
🚨︎ report

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