The Loser Puns

“I’m not worried about her, she is a lightweight.”

It was There and Beck again.

Nobody likes a bad support.

(Okay, that was bad. Need better ones please!)

"All I know about it so far is that you're the main character"

Da feet

The loser had to wear their underwear over their pants.

I walked in and said “Oi, you big, fat, ugly, bald loser! I want to buy a new mirror!”

The salesman said “I’m over here, sir.”

Scene: Halloween night (this is key), I am donned in normal garb (this is even keyer), and am approaching the front door to my parents house...

Me: knocks on door

Dad: opens door

Dad: "You dressed as a loser?"

Me: :(

End Scene.

Did you hear about the Chess Grandmaster who, after he lost a match, destroyed the table with a massive hammer and called lightning bolts down to destroy his opponent's car?

He was banned from future competitions for being such a Thor loser.

My daughter just text'd me this:

Smart Ass "Why did the chicken cross the road?"

Gullible Loser "Why?"

SA "To get to the idiot's house."

GL "heh, that was horrible".

Fast forward 5 minutes

SA "Knock Knock"

GL "Who's there"

SA "The chicken"

GL "The chicken who....wait, I see what's coming".

She is so getting flogged when I get home!

At the end of Jeopardy, they say that Aleve gives the 2nd and 3rd place contestants prize money as consolation.

I said, "I wonder why Aleve gives money to 2nd and 3rd place"

Without hesitation, my dad goes, "Guess they just don't want any sore losers."