Heโ€™s not just my swole relative. Heโ€™s my pumped kin.
๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 41
๐Ÿ’ฌ๏ธŽ
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/Shantotto11
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Oct 21 2019
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UA /TP HAV /SK CLR /TB LGT /IC CLR /WV 120010 ; UA /TP PAP /SK SCT /TB MDT /WV 080025 /FL 020 ; UA /TP KIN /SK OVC /TB SVR /WV 240050 /FL 03

These are the PIREPs of the Caribbean.

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 5
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/DocDerz
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ May 31 2019
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Little known fact: The original name for Jedi was "Force Kin"

I wonder why it was rolled back?

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 7
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/Oafah
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Dec 13 2018
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๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 230
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/Jon_Cake
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Nov 01 2016
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Punp(kin) iron
๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 4
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/unknownspecies_
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Dec 28 2017
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My dad's go-to joke when I was growing up, that I will most definitely be passing on to my kin.

When I would figure something out, or when I would show him that I made a good grade on a something..

"You're so bright. That's why I call you son."

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 106
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/theearthvolta
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Dec 05 2013
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Whatโ€™s a hillbillies favorite thing to do on Halloween?

Pump kins

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 21
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/Bpollard85
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Oct 21 2020
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What type of tissue can you sleep on?

A nap-kin.

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 28
๐Ÿ’ฌ๏ธŽ
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/roke619
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Sep 17 2020
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What do you call several gourds related to each other?

Pump kin

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 4
๐Ÿ’ฌ๏ธŽ
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/JumpinJaccFlash
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Oct 24 2020
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An overabundance of gratitude
๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 334
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/mortilsola
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jan 16 2020
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After watching Star Wars, my friend on tumblr told me he identifies as The Force

I guess that makes him a ForceKin

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 4
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/DiamondChocobos
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Aug 01 2020
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What part of a meal makes you the most sleepy?

The Nap-kin.

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 7
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/vZAPP
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jul 29 2020
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What do people from Louisiana do for Halloween?

They pump kin.

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 3
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/SlytherRedd
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jun 02 2020
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I bought my grandchildren some crayons and I have to say...

...they make my kin scrawl.

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 11
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/madazzahatter
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ May 06 2020
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What do you call a strong pumpkin?

A Jacked-o-Lantern

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 17
๐Ÿ’ฌ๏ธŽ
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/Nintendo-Nerd27
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Oct 28 2019
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What is Jack-O-Lantern saying to his family of bodybuilders?

Pump kin

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 11
๐Ÿ’ฌ๏ธŽ
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/Optimus_Prowse
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Nov 08 2019
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What do you call it when vegetables have siblings?

Pumpkin

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 5
๐Ÿ’ฌ๏ธŽ
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/AwkwardGhost121
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Oct 20 2019
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Alabama Starbucks have released a new drink this month

Pump Kin Latte

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 7
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/boBispellitbackwards
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Oct 01 2019
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Why did the vampire subscribe to the new york times?

He heard it had great circulation.

Btw can we start a trend of holloween dad jokes for the coming month? Plus I'd love to hear some pumpkin puns.

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 12
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/BeastScar
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Sep 21 2018
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Two hillbillies walk into a restaurant...

While having a bite to eat, they talk about their moonshine operation.

Suddenly, a woman at a nearby table, who is eating a sandwich, begins to cough. After a minute or so, it becomes apparent that she is in real distress. One of the hillbillies looks at her and says, 'Kin ya swallar?'

The woman shakes her head no. Then he asks, 'Kin ya breathe?'

The woman begins to turn blue, and shakes her head no.

The hillbilly walks over to the woman, lifts up her dress, yanks down her drawers, and quickly gives her right butt cheek a lick with his tongue.

The woman is so shocked that she has a violent spasm, and the obstruction flies out of her mouth. As she begins to breathe again, the Hillbilly walks slowly back to his table. His partner says, 'Ya know, I'd heerd of that there 'Hind Lick Maneuver' but I never seed nobody done it.'

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 10
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/shimaxed
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ May 12 2019
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I did my first Pumpkin ever this week. imgur.com/TsE2h4B
๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 68
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/CoachTanto
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Oct 27 2013
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The worldโ€™s greatest cannibal chef just made sushi out of his family

He got inducted into the Raw Kin Roll Hall of Fame

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 3
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/duositex
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Apr 19 2019
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What do you call Jack-O-Lantern cousins who lift weights together?

Pump Kins

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 8
๐Ÿ’ฌ๏ธŽ
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/2donutkid2
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Oct 30 2018
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Mike Tyson went to visit his backwoods Alabama family.

He saw all of his kithโ€™n kin!

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 2
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/ERMAHDERD
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Apr 30 2019
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What do you call the offspring of a tire inflator?

Pump kin.

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 10
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/rarehighfives
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Oct 30 2017
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Whats an alternative name for the jedi

Force-kin

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 6
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/Saucee-boi
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Oct 15 2018
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I have to come clean. My sister has been writing most of my jokes.

She is my spunsor.

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 3
๐Ÿ’ฌ๏ธŽ
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/kizilsakal
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jun 17 2017
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Listen now to the story of the two brothers Hing and Ming

Listen now to the story of the two brothers Hing and Ming. Each was devoted to the search for ultimate wisdom, but they differed greatly on how it was to be found. One day their pet chicken fell ill, began to molt, and soon lost all of its feathers! The brothers decided that this would be an ideal test case and agreed to each spend two months trying to cure the chicken. Hing immediately went back to the university. Having boned up on ornithology and traditional Chinese medicine, he decided that the answer was a prescription of gum-tree leaf tea. He gathered bushels of the tea leaves, brewed gallons of the tea, and poured it into the chicken for the two months.

Meanwhile, Ming traveled all around China, praying at the shrines of his ancestors. One night he had a dream. His ancestors appeared and told him to feed the chicken tea made from gum-tree leaves!!!

Ming, aware of his brotherโ€™s lack of success, decided that the problem was quantity. He gathered whole CARTLOADS of leaves, and brewed BARRELS of the tea, and poured them into the chicken for the two months. At the end of the time, the poor chicken was still as naked as a bowling ball.

Moral: All of Hingโ€™s courses, and all of Mingโ€™s kin; couldnโ€™t make gum tea re-feather a hen!

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 6
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/Maimonides_vii
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Dec 31 2018
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I always wipe my mouth before I lie down.

I'm nap-kin.

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 2
๐Ÿ’ฌ๏ธŽ
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/figarojew
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jan 01 2019
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Learn Chinese in 5 min

LEARN CHINESE IN 5 MINUTES (You MUST read them out loud or it doesnt make as much sense)...

  1. Thats not right........ Sum Ting Wong
  2. Are you harboring a fugitive................... Hu Yu Hai Ding
  3. See me ASAP............. Kum Hia Nao
  4. Stupid Man...................... Dum Fuk
  5. Small horse... Tai Ni Po Ni
  6. Did you go to the beach?... Wai Yu So Tan
  7. I bumped in to a coffee table... Ai Bang Mai Fa Kin Ni
  8. I think you need a face lift... Chin Tu Fat
  9. It's very dark in here... Wao So Dim
  10. I thought you were on a diet... Wai Yu Mun Ching
  11. This is a tow away zone... No Pah King
  12. staying out of sight... Lei Ying Lo
  13. He's cleaning his automobile... Wa Shing Ka
  14. Your body odor is offensive... Yu Stin Ki Pu
  15. Great... Fa Kin Su Pah
๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 7
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/edg0023
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Sep 18 2018
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What do you call a person who identifies as a gourd?

A Pump-Kin!

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 3
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/itsmoeyo
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Oct 22 2018
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What did the daddy Scott towel say to the tired tissues?

It's time to nap-kin

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 5
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/Fanofstuf
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Sep 26 2017
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What do you call a sleeping family?

Nap kin

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 6
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/lhippocampe
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ May 13 2018
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Are cannibals considered munchkins?

Munch kin, eh?

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 19
๐Ÿ’ฌ๏ธŽ
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/uberlad
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Dec 23 2016
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Halloween Puns

Why couldnโ€™t the witch have children? Her husband had a hallow weenie.


Which ghost is the best dancer? The Boogie Man!


Friend: What are you gonna be for halloween? Me: Drunk!


For Halloween Iโ€™m going to write โ€œLifeโ€ on a plain white T-shirt and hand out lemons to strangers


This Halloween, the only Candy Iโ€™m interersted in swings from a pole and has daddy issues


โ€œHalloweenโ€ = an excuse for girls to dress up like sluts.


Thank goodness for Halloween, all of a sudden, cobwebs in my house are decorations!


Iโ€™ll be your trick if youโ€™ll be my treat.


How do Rednecks celebrate Halloween? Pump kin!


When do ghouls and goblins cook their victims? On Fry Day


Whatโ€™s a monsters favorite desert? I-Scream!


What do you call a Halloween boner? Petrified wood


What do you call a dancing ghost? Polka-haunt-us


What do you call a hot dog with nothing inside it? A โ€œhollow-weenie!โ€


Did you hear about the wild party at the haunted house? The whole vibe was anything ghost (goes).


How do you write a book about halloween? With a ghostwriter.



Iโ€™m going to celebrate Halloween the same way I always doโ€ฆ by murdering a bunch of teens by the lake. Sincerely,


Two monsters went to a Halloween party. Suddenly one said to the other, โ€œA lady just rolled her eyes at me. What should I do?โ€ The other monster replied, โ€œBe a gentleman and roll them back to her.


The lesson of Halloween is that pretending to be something youโ€™re not will lead to a sweet reward.


I remember when Halloween was the scariest night of the year. Now, itโ€™s Election night.


I want to be something really scary for Halloween this year so Iโ€™m dressing up as a phone battery at 2%.


Why dident the skeleten go to the halloween party? Becuse he had no body to go with.


What did the bird say on Halloween? Trick or tweet!


What do Italianโ€™s eat on Halloween? Fettucinni Afraid-o (Ha ha ha)


Why canโ€™t the boy ghost have babies? A. Because he has a Hallo-weenie.


What do goblins and ghosts drink when theyโ€™re hot and thirsty on Halloween? A. Ghoul-aid!!!


What do ghosts eat for supper? Spooketi


What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house? Hope itโ€™s Halloween!!


What is the most important subject a witch learns in school? Spelling.

... keep reading on reddit โžก

show more
๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 3
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/Punsville
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ May 27 2017
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The bellman's brother

There was this guy with no arms who lived in the bell tower of some church in Europe. Since he had no arms, he rang the bells by slamming his head against them.

One day, he fell out of the tower and died. The police wanted to notify the next of kin. The coroner looked at the man and said "I don't know his name, but his face sure rings a bell."

A few weeks later, the man's twin brother came to take over the bellman job. On his first day, he too fell from the tower and died.

Again, the police wanted to notify the next of kin. The coroner looked at the man and said "I don't know his name, but he's a dead ringer for his brother."

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 3
๐Ÿ’ฌ๏ธŽ
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/alx924
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Dec 26 2016
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Words to live by

"You can pick your friends, and you can pick your nose, but you can't pick your friend's nose."

Been hearing that gem from my dad for 25+ years.

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 10
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/mgnkng
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jan 07 2014
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Why is Darth Vader's helmet so phallic?

...because when they hid Luke & Leia from him, they removed his force kin.

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 61
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/spankleberry
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jun 04 2016
๐Ÿšจ๏ธŽ report
What do you call a gourdโ€™s relatives?

Pump-kin.

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 10
๐Ÿ’ฌ๏ธŽ
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/Bigfoothobbit
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Mar 16 2017
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My father was always tasteless...

Know what they do to celebrate Halloween in West Virginia?

Pump Kin

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 25
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/jvlpdillon
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Oct 05 2013
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Jaime Lannister on Halloween

He doesn't want a pumpkin, he just wants to pump kin!

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 2
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/plasker6
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Nov 01 2014
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Did you hear about the midget from West Virginia?

My dad called me up one day, and started to deliver this one to me as if it was something he had actually heard on the radio.

"So I heard on the radio that there was midget in West Virginia that got arrested for giving oral favors to his sister... Apparently, he didn't know that it was illegal to munch kin."

I hung up on him.

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 54
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/Mostlyharmless27
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Aug 02 2013
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My Dad's favorite joke:

There's a church in the country that is looking for a bell ringer for church on Sundays. A guy comes in for the job but he has no arms. The priest says "How are you going to ring the bell with no arms?"

"Come up in the bell tower with me and I'll show you."

The priest figures he'll humor him so when they get up there the backs all the way up to one side and runs full force into the side of the bell sending a "BONG" across the valley. The priest is so impressed he hires him. That Sunday the time comes and our bell ringer is all ready, backed into the corner. Runs full force and slips at the last minute falling to his death 100 feet below. A detective comes to investigate so the priest tells him the whole story. "We have to notify his next of kin, do you know his name?"

"No, but his face rings a bell."

The church now has to replace this guy so another guy comes in and coincidence of coincidences, he has no arms either. Same method of ringing the bell. Same accident. "Do you know his name?"

"No, but he's a dead ringer for the other guy."

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 38
๐Ÿ’ฌ๏ธŽ
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/Freak_flag_flies
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Oct 20 2013
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What do people in Alabama like to do on Halloween?

Pump kin

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 2
๐Ÿ’ฌ๏ธŽ
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/Saintarsier
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Oct 31 2019
๐Ÿšจ๏ธŽ report
What type of tissue can you sleep on?

A nap-kin.

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 5
๐Ÿ’ฌ๏ธŽ
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/Mistah-S
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jun 05 2019
๐Ÿšจ๏ธŽ report
Why do rednecks love Halloween?

It's a great day to pump kin.

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 19
๐Ÿ’ฌ๏ธŽ
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/I_love_420
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Sep 02 2016
๐Ÿšจ๏ธŽ report

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