I need a kayaking pun

I need a response to "looks like you had an oar some time" thanks in advance

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Giddaychief1
πŸ“…︎ Apr 03 2016
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I work with a small town search and rescue. We recently had a guy visiting from the big city to do some kayaking on the river.

He doesn't know the area and gets himself lost. All he does know is that there are a lot of grizzly bears roaming around during the salmon spawn this time of year, so he's quite afraid to get out of his kayak.

The temperature starts to drop. He needs to stay warm, and decides to build a fire inside his little boat on the river.

He learnt a valuable lesson that night: you can't have your kayak and heat it too.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Islander399
πŸ“…︎ Aug 17 2020
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I went kayaking with a friend the other day. They asked me which paddle I wanted...

I said, either or.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Datolite7
πŸ“…︎ Apr 10 2020
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It's really easy to learn white water kayaking

You just go with the flow.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TurboAxolotl
πŸ“…︎ Oct 25 2019
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My father dad joked our kayaking guide yesterday...

My family went sea kayaking yesterday and our guide's name was Nate. When the guide introduced himself my dad said in his corniest, most exaggerated fake Australian accent "good day Nate!" I groaned along with the rest of my family while my dad chuckled to himself for the next thirty seconds.

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πŸ“…︎ Aug 13 2014
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When asked to go kayaking...

Dad: I can row a boat. Canoe?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jah13ang
πŸ“…︎ Aug 28 2013
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Dadjoke I made while out kayaking

Some people and I were kayaking and we passed a sign with the number 17. I asked what it was and a woman said that it was a mile marker.

So I asked "Do they have mile crayons?"

I got a pity chuckle.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ringsnmodules
πŸ“…︎ Jul 26 2014
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I can't think of any kayak puns...

Canoe?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bgrell
πŸ“…︎ Jun 13 2016
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Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly.

But when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank, proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it too.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Merlin-5
πŸ“…︎ Jan 14 2021
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What does Donald Trump call kayaks?

Fake canoes!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Balso
πŸ“…︎ Oct 23 2020
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I never intended to become addicted to paddling my kayak into whirlpools.

It’s just something I got sucked into.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CapnFancyPants
πŸ“…︎ Nov 17 2020
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Seems like a Bassless claim to me
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cREDBARON
πŸ“…︎ Dec 08 2020
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I was cold while in my kayak so I lit a fire and it sunk

Shows you can’t have your kayak and heat it too!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JumpingRedFox
πŸ“…︎ May 10 2020
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If you make-out in a kayak...

...are you canoodling?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sir_Pluses
πŸ“…︎ Apr 15 2020
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What does "kayak" sound like upside down?

"Blblblblblvllgllgl"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/elouan_lrch
πŸ“…︎ Jun 19 2019
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My wife brought me two kayak paddles and asked, "Which one do you want?"

I said, "I'll take either/oar."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/moses10960
πŸ“…︎ Sep 19 2018
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A man, adrift at sea in his kayak, was running low on supplies

As the sky darkened, he started to get worried about the cold. Rummaging through his supplies, he realized he had just enough to build a small fire. The man did accomplish his goal, but just as the fire started to grow, it sank his vessel, and the man drowned.

I guess the old saying holds true; you can't have your kayak and heat it, too.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Maimonides_vii
πŸ“…︎ Feb 14 2019
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If you kayak with a cap on and the kayak capsizes, whether or not the cap falls off depends on the cap size
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Byumbyum
πŸ“…︎ Mar 04 2019
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Two Inuits in a kayak.

Younger one says, β€œI t’s getting cold, can we light a fire?” The older one saysβ€œno” The evening approaches and the young one again asks, β€œcan we light a fire?” But the older one declines. They stop for the night and the young Inuit asks if they can light a fire, because is getting very cold. But the older one says β€œno” again and goes to sleep. The young one sneakily lights a fire and the kayak burns down.

Moral of the story: you can’t have your kayak and heat it too.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rigatavr
πŸ“…︎ Jul 23 2018
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Why don't they allow Buffallo on Kayaks?

Because its a Ka-YAK not a Ka-UFFALLO!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/sdonaghy
πŸ“…︎ Jun 30 2016
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The word β€œdiputseromneve” may look ridiculous…

...but backwards, it’s even more stupid…

πŸ‘︎ 5k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ May 02 2018
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Two Inuits are out fishing on a kayak.

Two Inuits are out fishing on a kayak. They've been out all day, and the sun's setting. As the temperature drops, they decide to light a campfire on the watercraft, which, unsurprisingly sinks. This just goes to prove that you can't have your kayak and heat it too.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ZWQncyBkaWNr
πŸ“…︎ Dec 23 2014
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I just bought two kayaks for the price of one

Canoe believe it?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/GuhretSyndrome
πŸ“…︎ Apr 22 2015
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Two eskimos are in a kayak...

My uncle told us this one today...

Two eskimos are in a kayak, paddling along a river. Freezing cold, one eskimo says to the other, "hey, why don't we start a fire here in the middle of the kayak?" so they manage to get a small fire going and start to finally warm up, when the fire creates a hole in the middle of the kayak. The kayak fills with water and they sink to the bottom of the river. Moral of the story? You can't have your kayak and heat it, too.

My dad had a hearty laugh at this one.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/skwedgie
πŸ“…︎ Sep 03 2013
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Dad's version of the local news

Dad: So I heard that two guys drowned in [random town] this morning...

Me: That's horrible! What happened?

Dad: Apparently, they were in a kayak and they lit a fire which caused it to sink.

Me: ...that doesn't sound like a good idea...

Dad: Yea well, it just goes to show you can't have your kayak and heat it too....

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πŸ‘€︎ u/samanna
πŸ“…︎ Feb 12 2014
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Puns for Educated Minds
  1. The fattest knight at King Arthurs round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.

  2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.

  3. She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her still.

  4. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class, because it was a weapon of math disruption.

  5. No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.

  6. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.

  7. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.

  8. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.

  9. A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.

  10. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

  11. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

  12. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the other: You stay here; I'll go on a head.

  13. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.

  14. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said: Keep off the Grass.

  15. The midget fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.

  16. The soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.

  17. A backward poet writes inverse.

  18. In a democracy it’s your vote that counts. In feudalism it’s your count that votes.

  19. When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion.

  20. If you jumped off the bridge in Paris, you'd be in Seine.

  21. A vulture boards an airplane, carrying two dead raccoons. The stewardess looks at him and says, I’m sorry, sir, only one carrion allowed per passenger.

  22. Two fish swim into a concrete wall. One turns to the other and says Dam!

  23. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can’t have your kayak and heat it too.

  24. Two hydrogen atoms meet. One says, I’ve lost my electron. The other says Are you sure? The first replies, Yes, I’m positive.

  25. Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain during a root canal? His goal: transcend dental medication.

  26. There was the person who sent ten puns to friends, with the hope that at least one of the puns would make them laugh. No pun in ten did.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FreshFocusPhoto
πŸ“…︎ Jun 26 2015
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Dad dad-jokes my mom

My parents are currently looking for kayaks. So they decided to check online.

My dad was searching for kayaks online.

Mom: "Are you looking at Dick's (Sporting Goods)!?"

Dad: " No! I'm looking at kayaks!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kick_dicker
πŸ“…︎ Jul 08 2014
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I was planning a trip and searching for flights...

Me: "I'll check Kayak first"

My Dad: "Why? You need a plane, not a kayak!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/enkarta
πŸ“…︎ Jan 21 2014
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I can kayak!

Canoe?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/NWA92
πŸ“…︎ Jun 17 2020
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What does Trump call kayaks?

Fake Canoes

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πŸ‘€︎ u/-taco-rice-
πŸ“…︎ Jun 08 2020
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Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft.

Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can't have your kayak and heat it too.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tekprojekt
πŸ“…︎ Jul 09 2019
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Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft...

Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can't have your kayak and heat it too.

πŸ‘︎ 1k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Nov 30 2016
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What does Trump call kayaks?

Fake canoes

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jbcon
πŸ“…︎ Jan 08 2019
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My wife had 2 kayak paddles and asked me which one I wanted.

I said I’d take either/oar.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Lumber__Zach
πŸ“…︎ Jul 23 2018
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What does Donald trump call kayaks?

Fake canoes

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πŸ‘€︎ u/karatesauce
πŸ“…︎ Mar 31 2018
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β€œHey, which one of these two kayak paddles would you like?”

β€œI would take either/oar.”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Oct 24 2018
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Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, but when they lit a fire in the craft it sank

Proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it, too.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2018
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Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly.

But when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank - proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it too.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ShiShoSha
πŸ“…︎ Mar 14 2014
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When you barf in a canoe...

... is it a kayak?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sir_Pluses
πŸ“…︎ Apr 09 2020
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Up a creek one day,

My wife handed me two kayak paddles and asked which one I wanted. I replied "either, oar"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SquishedGremlin
πŸ“…︎ Aug 18 2018
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