I wrote down the names of all the people I hate on a piece of paper, but my roommate used it roll up a joint.

Now he’s high on the list of people I never want to talk to again.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 20k
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 03 2020
🚨︎ report
What do dogs get when their joints get sore?

Arf-ritis

πŸ‘οΈŽ 187
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/lamecomment
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 23 2021
🚨︎ report
Why are hippies always sharing their joints?

Because they lead a doobie-us lifestyle.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/mynameistory
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 10 2021
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I'm going to open a pizza joint where they shake a box a bit before they hand it to you.

I'll call it Little Seizures.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 436
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/zigbigidorlu
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 20 2020
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What is it called when you share a joint and it spreads the virus?

Coweed 19

πŸ‘οΈŽ 8
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/sakshiiidee
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 12 2020
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I left a couple of joints in my Ford Fiesta

Now it’s a Ford Siesta

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Theunkillable
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 14 2020
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I rolled my first joint last night.

Today I have an ankle the size of a football.

>!Mind you, thanks to this really good weed I am feeling no pain at all.!<

πŸ‘οΈŽ 49
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Gil-Gandel
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 09 2020
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I don’t often roll joints...

But when I do it’s usually my ankle

πŸ‘οΈŽ 12
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Sigge02
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 15 2020
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I'm going to my Jamaican chiropractor to get some joint relief.
πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Guangtou22
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 18 2020
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I don’t always roll a joint but when I do...

It’s my ankle.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 204
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Cassshea1
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 20 2020
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Why did the Secretary of Defense and the Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff cross the road?

They were just following the chicken!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 8
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Colbosky
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 11 2020
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My friend got fined by the cops when they saw him smoking a joint in a greenhouse.

People in glass houses shouldn’t get stoned.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 9
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 14 2020
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A man held up a pizza joint at knifepoint

No one knows who’ll get the slice

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/AnnexFromCanada
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 17 2020
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I saw a stoner fall over every time he took a puff of his joint

Turns out he was smoking Tumbleweed

πŸ‘οΈŽ 21
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/DutchBlob
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 22 2020
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My stoner friend used my daily agenda notebook to roll up a joint.

He is now high on my list of priorities.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 11k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 30 2018
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What is Dracula's least favorite fast food joint?

Stake N' Shake!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 16
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Sir_Pluses
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 21 2020
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I want to open a Jamaican-Spanish-Irish small plates breakfast joint.

We're going to call it "Tapas the Morning to Ja"

πŸ‘οΈŽ 28
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/allanon101
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 26 2020
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If you're experiencing joint pain

You probably shouldnt be holding the lit end

πŸ‘οΈŽ 81
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Twigsnapper
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 20 2019
🚨︎ report
Pass the Joint [OC]
πŸ‘οΈŽ 303
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/pununciation
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 19 2019
🚨︎ report
I rolled a joint for the first time in my life.

The doctor says it’ll be a few weeks until I can use my ankle again.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 121
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/FinalCaveat
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 04 2019
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I erred when I put the wrong pasta into the dish my girlfriend and I were making, so she gave her joint.

It was an elbow.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 17 2020
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What do you call Kevin sealing the joints of a booby trap?

Macaulay Caulkin!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/aitchnyu
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 29 2019
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This pun was a joint effort
πŸ‘οΈŽ 13
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/c-it
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 15 2019
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The guy working at the gas station was smoking a joint when I walked in...

That place has the highest customer service.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 27
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/chuckyocouch_
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 01 2019
🚨︎ report
A local fast food joint had a grand opening with a fireworks display...

There were lots of Sonic booms that night.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 23 2019
🚨︎ report
My friend started a java joint run by himself in Tel Aviv...

It's call HeBrews Coffee.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 28 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call it when a pirate has sore joints?

Arrrrrthritis.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 8
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/surgicalfunnel
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 03 2019
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I saw a group of boys enter a burger joint...

I don't know I think it was Five Guys.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/RSGaming0416
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 22 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you get when you roll a joint with a page from the dictionary?

High definition.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 64
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/FinalCaveat
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 01 2019
🚨︎ report
When Cheech and Chong broke up, do you think they fought for Joint custody?
πŸ‘οΈŽ 40
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Twigsnapper
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 16 2018
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I saw my friend standing outside in the rain, smoking a joint.

I said, β€œThis is fine. As long as you don’t in hail.”

πŸ‘οΈŽ 8
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 06 2019
🚨︎ report
I have a buddy who was recently hit by a bus, while promoting pedestrian safety.The surgeons had to replace all the joints in his left leg with metal.

I think it's safe to say he can appreciate the iron knee

πŸ‘οΈŽ 7
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/karmamountain
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 21 2018
🚨︎ report
Which joint of the body can play both Football & Baseball?

elBOw Jackson

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/RCRadioCarbon
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 24 2019
🚨︎ report
Why did 19 get in trouble for stealing a joint?

Because it was for 20

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/BinaryPeach
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 29 2019
🚨︎ report
Don't ever open a joint bank account with a cowgirl.

She might beat you to the draw.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Jan_Tik
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 19 2019
🚨︎ report
A fastidious fry cook at a local friend chicken joint had a different cutting board for every part of the chicken....

One day he decided to get a whole new set of cutting boards from Acme Board Co. However, while doing prep for all-you-can-eat hotwings night, he dropped one of the boards and it shattered.

He said, "Well, back to the old raw wing board."

πŸ‘οΈŽ 7
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Danielaurence
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 24 2019
🚨︎ report
If two broke pot-heads pooled their money to buy a blunt would you call it a joint venture?
πŸ‘οΈŽ 18
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Shadow_Boxer1987
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 30 2018
🚨︎ report
I wrote down the names of everyone I hate on a piece of paper, and my roommate used that to roll his joint.

He’s now high on the list of people I never want to see again.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 11k
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 04 2019
🚨︎ report
I just rolled a joint for the first time in my life.

The doctor says it’ll be a few weeks before I can use my ankle again.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 104
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/FinalCaveat
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 20 2019
🚨︎ report
I don’t always roll joints...

But when I do it’s usually an ankle

πŸ‘οΈŽ 108
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/dave_from_
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 07 2019
🚨︎ report
I don’t always roll a joint

But when I do, it’s my ankle

πŸ‘οΈŽ 56
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/whiplash1911
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 25 2019
🚨︎ report
I don't always roll a joint

But when I do it's usually an ankle

πŸ‘οΈŽ 41
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/johnsonmd
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 18 2019
🚨︎ report
I wrote down the names of all the people I hate on a piece of paper, and my roommate used it to roll his joint.

He is now high on the list of people I never want to talk to again.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 31
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 11 2018
🚨︎ report

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