I heard that starting next year, keyboards will no longer be sold with italics...

But it was a bold-faced lie.

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👤︎ u/nftpc
📅︎ Jul 04 2020
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My younger friends get annoyed with me when I post in italics.

I guess it's a bit too right-leaning for them.

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📅︎ Nov 27 2019
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My friend got a new job removing italics from reader correspondence at the local paper...

He gets to right letters to the editor.

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📅︎ Nov 06 2019
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Italica
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📅︎ Mar 26 2021
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Shopping for a Baby monitor
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👤︎ u/viky_boy
📅︎ Nov 19 2020
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Why did Italy surrender in WW2?

Because Italics aren't bold

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📅︎ Nov 07 2019
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I just bought a replacement tire for 20 bucks more than I had paid for the old one which had gone flat.

Damn inflation.

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📅︎ Aug 15 2019
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How many people visit Rome every year?

I'll take itally.

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👤︎ u/13toycar
📅︎ Mar 25 2020
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My friend emailed me, "Do you know anything about the famous building in Pisa?"

"Yes I do," I replied in italics.

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👤︎ u/sodomicity
📅︎ Jan 15 2019
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Trying to wake my son up a little early...

We are trying to get up a little earlier so our mornings aren't so stressed. My son was not waking up no matter how many times I poked and tugged at him.

I said "Come on son time to get up." He kind of stirred, I continued, "Remember we said we were going to start waking up a little earlier so we are not "rushin" in the morning?"

He rolled over and said "Nyet!" then went back to sleep.

** thanks for the up votes! Edited out the "g" from rushing, and added bold and italics to make it easier!

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📅︎ Jan 14 2016
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[Overheard at local restaurant] Customer: What kind of tea do you have?

Owner: Capital T, lowercase t, bold, italic, ...

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👤︎ u/mikesanerd
📅︎ Dec 06 2016
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I dad-joked a Yellow Jacket on his deathbed

I was sitting in the back yard with a friend, when we notice this yellow jacket on the ground. He's crawling around and something is obviously wrong, as he can't fly and was making slow, pained movements around a plastic spoon.

My friend says "Should we help him?"

I replied, "Maybe we can take him to the wasp-ital..."

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👤︎ u/gopperman
📅︎ Aug 18 2014
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