Yes! I support nouns

I'm pro nouns.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Alkedi44
πŸ“…︎ Dec 22 2020
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Nouns
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Miss_man
πŸ“…︎ Sep 07 2020
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What’s the collective noun for a group of Japanese calligraphy comedians?

Comic sans

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Octopus-Pawn
πŸ“…︎ Sep 24 2020
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The collective noun for kangaroos is a "troop". What is the collective noun for cars?

A Lot

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πŸ‘€︎ u/semanticdm
πŸ“…︎ Mar 18 2020
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My son is learning about proper nouns and he said that a proper noun is specific thing and a common noun isn't. He said an Ocean is a common noun and the Pacific is a proper noun.

I look him dead in the eye and say, "What a Pacific example you just gave"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ProfessorOfLies
πŸ“…︎ Apr 21 2020
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Why were the nouns afraid of the verbs?

Because the verbs were always so intense.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Loki8382
πŸ“…︎ Apr 30 2020
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Did you know that stalin never capitalised the first letter of a new sentence or a proper noun?

It's because he disliked capitalism.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/_Mehdi_haned
πŸ“…︎ Feb 17 2020
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I was going to make a joke about Latin nouns

But then declined.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/EkskiuTwentyTwo
πŸ“…︎ Mar 24 2020
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Germans must really hate female nouns

They always precede them with "die"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PierogisDevourer
πŸ“…︎ Dec 04 2019
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I was wondering why the collective noun is "a murder of crows".

... probable caws.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/spankleberry
πŸ“…︎ May 23 2019
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I am pro noun.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/procrastiprov
πŸ“…︎ Jan 06 2019
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Michael used to be a pretty good noun.

Now, he is a pronoun.

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πŸ“…︎ Feb 16 2018
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Collective nouns movie poster 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/are_you-serious
πŸ“…︎ Nov 03 2014
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The collective noun for glaciers

a Julio

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JustMakesItAllUp
πŸ“…︎ Jan 17 2015
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"Dad, I need help with my grammar homework. Can you name two pronouns?"

"Who, me?"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mickerallen100
πŸ“…︎ Mar 28 2021
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RIP
πŸ‘︎ 16k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/shampoo_and_dick
πŸ“…︎ Apr 09 2020
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Microwave

(noun) A hand gesture used by a midget as a greeting.

Cool, that midget over there just gave me a microwave!

^{Source: ^Bullwade ^Anguish ^Dictionary}

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BinBender
πŸ“…︎ Jan 08 2021
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My Dad: Can you tell me a sensible sentence that uses the word 'because', three times, consecutively?

Me: Not today, Dad.

My Dad: Give up. Let me tell you in his glorious beaming pride face

I use because, because, because is a conjunction.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/yours_petpeeve
πŸ“…︎ Sep 22 2020
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What is a pronoun?

A noun that has lost its amateur status

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Big_Daddy_DD
πŸ“…︎ Jun 23 2020
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finger

Did you read it as a noun or a verb?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dubaidadjokes
πŸ“…︎ Apr 08 2020
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So this panda bear walks into a bar.

He goes up to the bartender and orders a sandwich. He eats the sandwich, then takes out a gun, shoots the piano player, and goes to walk out.

The bartender says what the heck are you doing?

I'm a panda. It's what I do. Look it up.

So the bartender gets out his dictionary. You know, for settling bets. You didn't have a problem with the piano player, just go with it.

So, sure enough, there it is in the dictionary.

Panda bear, noun. Not a true bear, eats shoots and leaves.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/lfantine
πŸ“…︎ May 04 2020
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I went into a Roman bar and asked for a Martinus.

The bartender said, β€œdon’t you mean a Martini?” I glared at him and said, β€œI only want one!”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ZonieDrew
πŸ“…︎ Jul 28 2019
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What do they call fist bumps in the U.K.?

British Pounds

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Flandersmcj
πŸ“…︎ Dec 19 2016
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A woman beat her husband to death with his guitar....

It was assault with a medley weapon!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/hey_mcfly27
πŸ“…︎ Jul 30 2019
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If you think we have problems, you should see fishermen...

Now they have reel problems!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ZaLimitless
πŸ“…︎ Mar 28 2019
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I don’t have a preferred pronoun.

My favorite noun is amateur.

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πŸ“…︎ Dec 08 2019
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A disease has been discovered where musicians temporarily lost their ability to tell which notes are which when sharing an automobile with a stranger.

Medical experts have named it "carpool tonal syndrome".

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thefizzynator
πŸ“…︎ Mar 19 2016
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Talk with my son...

Had this conversation with my son last night, he's been on a dad joke kick for the last six months, most of the time they fail miserably.

Son: Dad, do you know what a good noun is?

Me(rolling eyes, knowing where this is going): No, what?

Son: a Pronoun.

Me (with all seriousness): Bud, that was terrible.

Son: You know what else is terrible?

Me (wishing this was over): Ugg, What?

Son: Paper.

Dear Son, you ever read this I couldn't have been more proud. You had me giggling the rest of the night.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/comiccaper
πŸ“…︎ Sep 12 2019
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Girlfriend dadjoked me on a hike

We were right below the flight path of the major airport in the area because there was a plane that was fairly close to the ground. So I said "I wonder why they are flying so low?" to which she responds "I don't think so, they probably have more than one passenger." I stare at her... she goes "So low? Solo?" I laughed and groaned. She will make a great dad.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/McSippy
πŸ“…︎ Aug 06 2014
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No matter how much you move your pencils,

they're still stationery.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thefizzynator
πŸ“…︎ Mar 23 2016
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What do you call a clowder of criminal cats?

The meowfia.

You guys didnt know the collective noun for cats is "clowder", right?

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πŸ“…︎ Mar 03 2019
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When you combine english and math.

When you combine english and math.

You get many nouns and many unnouns.

*(bad spelling intentional)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/martinri_cz
πŸ“…︎ Apr 29 2019
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I strongly support people, places, and things.

I am pro-noun.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Dec 22 2018
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Dad, what's a pronoun?

Well son, it is a noun so good at what it does that others pay it to be in the sentence.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ETwasMyFriend
πŸ“…︎ Jan 11 2019
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What is a pronoun?

I was testing my daughter over dinner tonight..

What is an Adjective? I asked.

Daughter: it describes something.

What is a noun?

Daughter: A person, place, or thing.

What is a pronoun?

Daughter:.... I don't remember...

Me: "It's a person, place, or thing that does that for a living."

My wife actually laughed out loud at this one! first time she's ever laughed at a dad joke! Once I explained it my daughter just groaned in agony. I'm so proud... of myself!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/lucky5150
πŸ“…︎ Aug 18 2016
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[REQUEST] Username Pun

Hi guys, I need to change my username online (mostly used in games) as it's not really something unique ( came from a book I read when I was younger ).

I'm trying to find something quite funny, with plays on words for example. But english isn't my native language and I find it quite hard ! So I'm asking you guys to help me :) You're the best for that imho !

If you could help me find something mixing music (percussions/drums), sciences (my field of study, physics to be more precise), beer and animals maybe (?) (because I like that !)

I think this is possible to find something using some science-specific noun and something else. But I can't seem to find one that suits me :(

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PRD-dat
πŸ“…︎ Mar 10 2016
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Everything

Is a noun

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Poortio
πŸ“…︎ Jun 05 2018
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Look at how many little trees he has!

Driving down the highway today and my fiancee says "Look at how many little trees he has on his mirror!" (referring to the air freshener trees, of which he had at least 30)

I hit her with "Well he is driving a Forester."

Edit: autocorrect correcting nouns.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/4lteredBeast
πŸ“…︎ Oct 31 2016
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This is the definition of irony.

iΒ·roΒ·ny

ˈīrΙ™nΔ“/

noun: irony

The expression of one's meaning by using language that normally signifies the opposite,

typically for humorous or emphatic effect.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/specialservices
πŸ“…︎ Nov 11 2016
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Puns of Varying Quality on the Subject of Linguistics (created in a fit of procrastinative inspiration) some of which I thought someone, someday might appreciate.

Note: Quality Very Varying (I see what I did there) and sometimes subject to specialist knowledge. So I apologise in advance. Shame me with your better puns.

While I was languishing in the Language Centre, doing some semantics antics and considering how all the other linguistics students despised and derided me, I was accosted by a stout man with large glasses who made me a preposition. It was that I should collect terrible puns, to do with linguistics, in order to ingratiate myself yet further with the other linguistics students (including even the phonetics fanatics).

I'm struggling to think of a pun to do with grammaticality that both makes sense and "Is grandma tickly?" correct. I'm also stuck on 'morphologician'. (I'm not actually sure that's a particularly logical word for the subject, though I guess that's more for, er, more for a logician to worry about.)

The problem I have with writing about phonological variation is that one is constantly forced to choose between being fun or logical - very Asian!I always get in trouble with electricians, they think I'm calling them a 'dialectician' whereas in fact I'm just saying "Die, electrician."

I like pscycholinguistics – the only department of linguistics where it’s acceptable to wear a cycle helmet. My Australian accent is terrible but I like to think my Sath Efrican one is predicate. My favourite accent is Received Pronunciation, because it is the accent chiefly used by invisible Japanese people who are ordered online. When the first recipient of an invisible Japanese person got the parcel, they wrote a complaint saying "Received but can't see Asian" and the name stuck.

Why did the speakers whose native languages weren't English, but whose only shared language was English, but they weren't very good at it and kept on having to stop to think about it, stop talking to one another? They came to an agreement. (Get it? If not, write your answer on a pastecard and paste it to the below address.)

What did the 'a' say to the 'the'? "You definitely are ticklish, 'the'!"

Why was the small man eaten by the large bear, which was proportionately bigger than him? It had, er, relative claws.

I think the reason there are so many speakers of Russian is because they all partake in an activity called "copulae shun". (Ok, ok, I know, that was Pushkin it.)

I know a man called Hillary who can, might, should, did, must, shall and will ride an ox. We call him "Ox Hillary".

I always think the verb 'to be' in the senten

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kieuk
πŸ“…︎ Nov 28 2011
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"Feed you," said my toddler, wanting me to put breakfast on the fork

"Feed me," corrected my wife, "Pronouns are hard," she added.

"If they were easy, they'd be called amateur nouns," I said. Got the morning off to a great start.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/coachlasso
πŸ“…︎ Jul 22 2015
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Nouns are a Thing. Literally.
πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Marv1236
πŸ“…︎ Nov 15 2019
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What's a pronoun?

A noun that lost his amateur status.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ThE_MaD_ArLeQuiN
πŸ“…︎ Jun 02 2018
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