It's the most wonderful thyme of the year...
My Toyota truck was great, but now it's Wonderful
I’m telling my 5yr old about the wonderful world of literature and she says it sounds boring. I responded with
But... it’s lit! Hits the dad dab
I recently visited Washington state for the first time. Much to my surprise, it ended up being a warm and sunny day when I arrived! Put on a tank top, threw on some shades, and picked up an iced latte. I took a stroll through the park near the Space Needle and had a wonderful time.
I guess you could say I was sleeveless in Seattle
I made a wonderful meal last night, even the clock loved it!
It went back four seconds!
It’s the most wonderful thyme of the year!
It's a Wonderful Dad Joke
Heard this great one from George Bailey.
http://imgur.com/hoSNp3t
My boss threw this dadjoke at us yesterday. It was wonderful.
Coworker: "oh no, my elbow is numb!"
Boss: "well what about your skull, is your skull still numb?"
Coworker: "My skull? No?"
Boss: "It's not? Because someone around here told me you were a numbskull!"
He proceeded to giggle as he walked away.
I probably won't see Wonder Woman 1984 when it comes out.
I still haven't seen Wonder Woman 2 through 1983.
I’ve always wondered what it’s like to be a telephone pole...
I bet it would be electrifying
Why is it called a wonder bra?
Because when you take it off you wonder where the titties went.
Standing in the park, I was wondering why a Frisbee gets larger the closer it gets.
My 6 year old daughter set up a party and led me to the registration sheet. It said "Sine here". Now I am wondering if there is another sheet that says "Cosine there".
Sorry for going on a tangent
I wonder how Bill Gates gets Windows. Does he get it free? Or does Microsoft Bill Gates?
I was wondering if this group could help me come up with puns for my husbands promotion watch. It’s an omega speedmaster. He loves puns and I am truest bad at them.
Wilford Brimley died recently. And it left me wondering...
...did he die a man? Or did he die a beetus?
It was a long time ago, a different time, when Bach wrote his music. I wonder what life was like Bach then 🎹
I stayed up all night wondering where the sun went after it set.
I threw my boomerang and it kept on going and I wondered why it wasn’t returning
My wife said, “I wonder what our neighbor is making. He always has his jigsaw out.” I said, “I don’t know. It’s a real...
. I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.
I looked outside my bedroom window and wondered why it was so dark outside
I was wondering why the ball was getting bigger, then it hit me.
I wonder if it swallowed!
A real life dad joke.
My wife was dishing out food. She put some salad on a plate and handed it to my daughter.
Then my wife looked at me and said, "Cesar Salad?"
I immediately grabbed my daughter's plate and pulled it out of her hands. My daughter got confused (maybe wondering if she did something wrong?). My wife asks me, "What the hell are you doing???"
I responded, "Sorry. Could have sworn you just said seize her salad."
When it got dark outside, I was wondering where the sun went
And then it dawned on me.
If you ever wonder what its like to work at a power station
All that I can say is that the atmosphere is absolutely electrifying.
It's no wonder women love chocolate so much. Their pronouns give it away.
It's no wonder guns became more the more popular weapon over swords...
...compared to guns, swords just don't cut it.
I always used to wonder why it was called pepper spray
Then I realized it's because you can use it if you ever get asalted
Saw this in Tesco. Couldn't help but wonder what's replacing it?
My wife and I went on a trip to Cuba to stay at a few different places. By the end of week 2, we were walking barefoot across a beach, nearly dying of thirst and exhausted. We were wondering if we'd make it home, until I spotted a server holding some drinks. We sprinted towards her and drank both.
I have always wondered what it would be like to use a professional telescope.
I’m thinking of looking into it.
It’s no wonder women are so good at hiding things from men..
They’ve always got concealer on!
I drove around Lake Superior last Fall...
It had me fondly thinking back to the time years ago when my friend Mitchell and I toured four of the five Great Lakes one summer.
I wonder if I’ll ever see Mitch again?
Sometimes wonder why people reposting top r/dadjokes post, but then again it's just a dad thing.
Have you ever wondered why it’s better to shake paint instead of stirring?
Because this way, it will bond better
Standing in the park, I was wondering why a frisbee looks larger the closer it gets
Standing at the park today wondering why does a frisbee appears larger the closer it gets..
And then it hit me!
I didn't see that one coming
I stood in the park wondering why a frisbee gets bigger the closer it gets to you.
I was wondering, why does a Frisbee appear larger the closer it gets?
I was wondering why the ball was getting closer, then it hit me...
I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger, then it hit me.
Standing in a park, I was wondering why a Frisbee gets larger the closer it gets.
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