Due to this sub's unending debate about what equals a "Dad Joke", I have my own measure for whether or not to upvote/award... It must be more than some lame, unimaginative, "heard it 1000 times" pun. I just reviewed whether the top 10 jokes off all time from this sub meet this standard, and sadly...
Have you heard about this new meal plan from Leonardo DiCaprio? He used it to get in shape for all his roles, and now he’s letting everyone else in on it for $10 a month.
It’s called the Pay Leo Diet.
The other day, I dreamt about a young horse that was so unruly. It refused to do anything during the day, but spent all of the dark hours being wild, running and fighting any other animals it could find.
PSA for all guys who are bald and unhappy about it: you should tattoo rabbits all over your head...
Because from a distance they look like hairs.
What is it about all the Psychics that I ever visit.. they're either totally depressed, or too excitable.
It's really hard to find a happy Medium..
If you’ve never heard of jai alai, you should watch some jai-alaits to see what it’s all about
My family is all worried about my addiction to dot to dot puzzles. It's OK though...
I know where to draw the line...
Thought up this one all on my own and I'm proud of it: Did you hear the joke about the leg?
In my opinion, it wasn't very fu-knee.
We all have a submarine in our heads but we're not supposed to think about it. It's all sub-conscious.
Did you guys hear about the new Space Jam sequel where Marvin the Martian joins the Monstars, scores all of their points and they win it all?
You should check it out, it’s a really good Martian Scores’easy film
I'm really sick of all the jokes about socialism. It's just not funny.
Unless everyone gets them.
Pregnancy puns, it's all about the delivery...
My wife has gotten into being a furry and it's all she talks about!
She's become un-bear-able.
Afterall it was all about STAb-ility.
All these deadly viruses we should be worried about, but when it comes to media attention...
... corona takes the crown
If you think about it, 9/11 wasn't an inside job at all
The planes flew in from the outside
My sister talking about Christmas: “I don’t worry about Christmas, I got it all under wraps”
Siri know what’s it all about
If you think about it, we all put fake excrement in our hair
Dont know if you've all heard, but there's been an email going around about canned meats. Whatever you do, do NOT open it...
I know it’s all about timing, but
For people that don't like Minecraft, it's all about
Thinking Outside the Blocks...
Sleep? It's all about preparation.
Mum was out shopping and calling Dad excitedly at some new bedding she'd found. "It's so us, it will help your back, and it looks so so so comfortable. Come on, we've not had new bedding in years. I've chosen this amazing bed, sheets that go perfectly with our room. There's a deal where they throw in extras, like a U shaped pillow and then......."
Dad cut her off mid-flow and shouted "OK! Do it! Let's get it!"
He relayed the conversation back to us and said he was really excited.
Weeks later when the bed finally arrived he stood watching her unwrap the parts. I was just outside the room. He waited for his cue and when she opened the U shaped pillow - boom - he hit it,
"It looks nothing like me!" He shouted.
He turned to me and winked "totally worth it" he grinned at me.
..............…
I was confused.
................
He said "when I heard about the U shaped pillow I was so sold on the joke I had to let her buy it all".
Yeah... Nice one dad........
BREAKING NEWS: The man who wrote the hokey pokey died today, according to officials they struggled getting him into the body bag because they put his right leg in, then his right leg out, in out in out they shook it all about.
Did you all hear about the newly discovered Dinosaur that ate everything in it's path?
Doctor: It seems that your brain has deleted all information about '80s music.
Me: Yikes! What's the cure?
Doctor: Oh my god, it's worse than I thought!
Have you heard about the guy who lost his left arm and leg? It's ok, he's all right now.
The best thing about all the stuff Jesus gave to the poor, is that he gave it all to them for free.
You could say it was Jesus Priced.
Hi all, if you get a message from me about tinned meat, don't open it
I talk about the song Uptown Funk all the time and always bring it up in conversations.
Don’t believe me? Just watch.
It was my father's funeral today and my brother has been going round all the guests trying to tell them about his new fish and herbs recipe...
I eventually pulled him over and said "c'mon dude, there's a thyme and a plaice" but this is not it!
I tried to make a joke about Julius Caesar at work today, but it was all over the place...
I guess you could say the joke was roamin'.
Did you hear about the Mexican restaurant that replaced all its fire extinguishers with jars of cheese and salsa?
The labels all read "break in queso emergency".
Ppl ask why dad jokes are so funny, I tell them it's all about the delivery
Which is why the Dr with no arms couldn't work with pregnant women
At my son's insistence that i post it... Have y'all heard about that really annoying vampire?
Apparently, they are a real pain in the neck.
Down vote
This guy showed r/funny what it's all about
Recovery is what it's all about.
It's all about who you know
Talking to my dad about a friend (female) that just recently got a free table
Dad: Well i guess it's all about who you blow...err i mean who you know
It's all about mutual respect.
My brother was talking about planting new plants at his house.
Him: I just want ones that don't leaf.
Me: Maybe if you treated your plants better they wouldn't leaf.
Blank stare
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