Whatβs with all the talk about horny bugs in Washington D.C.?
I keep hearing about the capital insect erection.
π︎ 4
π
︎ Jan 19 2021
I was reciting A, C, and E music notes in a bar. They kicked me out ...
They said no Minor allowed here . ..
π︎ 6
π
︎ Dec 25 2020
I went to visit my friend at the hospital, and the only parking spot I found was in the C section.
I had to climb out of the sunroof.
π︎ 11
π
︎ Nov 21 2020
3 domesticated Rams are in the kitchen, labelled A, B & C
If you put a pumpkin on ram A, nothing happens.
If you put a pumpkin on ram B you get the same result.
But if you put a pumpkin on Ram C it starts knocking things off counters, making a mess and abusing the kitchen staff.
I guess that is what happens when you put a gourd on ram c in the kitchen.
π︎ 24
π
︎ Oct 26 2020
Wife: Iβm not in the mood to do my homework. Me: Just phone it in and do C-work. Wife: I donβt know how to do C-Work.
Me: step 1, buy a boat.
Just happened. Not an official dad yet but sheβs 6 months pregnant. Got to get the practice in while I can.
π︎ 14
π
︎ May 28 2020
Why couldn't picabo street work as a receptionist in the I.C.U.?
She would say "picabo I.C.U."
π︎ 3
π
︎ Jul 05 2020
What do you call a person in D.C. that never leaves the first floor of a building?
π︎ 6
π
︎ Jul 20 2020
C, E-flat and G walk in to a bar.
The bartenders says sorry we don't allow minors in here
π︎ 22
π
︎ Apr 11 2020
Why does dark end in a K and not a C
Because you can't C In the dark
π︎ 10
π
︎ Jun 20 2020
Biden was a c-student in college.
π︎ 9
π
︎ May 19 2020
I got an interview and told them I was proficient in C and C-sharp.
Turns out that wasn't good enough to be a pianist
π︎ 43
π
︎ Oct 20 2019
I once saw a little guy with a red pointy hat riding the D.C. subway, listening to some music, tapping his toes perfectly in time with the beat
He was the greatest Metro Gnome ever.
π︎ 6
π
︎ Apr 16 2020
In class the teacher told me to stand up and talk about something Iβm not good at begging with the letter C.
π︎ 9
π
︎ Jan 26 2020
When the smog lifts in Los Angeles, U.C.L.A.
π︎ 6
π
︎ Nov 08 2019
Canada wan't originally supposed to have a C in it's name
But then they wanted anada letter
π︎ 31
π
︎ Dec 04 2019
Why are bad school grades like a shipwreck in the Arctic Ocean? They're both below C level!
π︎ 12
π
︎ May 06 2019
I don't c the point in alaphabet jokes but, a I guess u got to give m a chance
this joke is so bad that it deserves an f
π︎ 5
π
︎ Feb 25 2019
In Canada, they use the more appropriate βB.C.Eβ instead of βB.C.β
It stands for βBefore Christ, Eh?β
π︎ 6
π
︎ Jul 11 2019
I parked in the C section of the hospital parking lot.
The only way I could get out of my car was through the sunroof.
π︎ 17
π
︎ Nov 19 2018
So I was working in a group planning out a new C# application
I loudly proclaimed "I object."
Boss: To what? We barely started.
Me: Oh, I thought we were using object oriented programming.
Room: groans.
π︎ 5
π
︎ Sep 29 2017
While she was taking me on a tour of the embassies in Washington D.C...
Her: This one's the Japanese embassy, this one's the Belgian embassy, this one's the Finnish embassy...
Me: The Finnish embassy? Where's the start embassy?
Her: .......
Me: :D
π︎ 47
π
︎ Jun 30 2014
I told my C professor I spend too much time in the lab.
He asked if I was getting C sick.
π︎ 5
π
︎ Mar 22 2017
The a/c wasn't working in the Vietnamese restaurant we were eating at...
"It's hot as pho in here"
π︎ 4
π
︎ Jun 30 2015
So I'm in D.C. visiting my dad.
We've just finished our thanksgiving shopping, when we pass by the Turkish embassy. My dad then exclaims, "I guess that's where we should've gotten the turkey!"
π︎ 6
π
︎ Nov 27 2013
I was visiting my pregnant friend at the hospital, and the only parking spot I could find was in the C section.
I had to climb out of the sunroof.
π︎ 124
π
︎ May 27 2020
Why is "Dark" spelled with a K, and not a C ? Because you canβt C in the dark.
π︎ 29
π
︎ Feb 19 2019
Why is there no βCβ in Dark?
because you cant C in the dark.
π︎ 9
π
︎ Apr 11 2019
I went to visit my pregnant friend in the hospital and found a parking spot in the C section of the parking lot.
I had to climb out of the sunroof.
π︎ 18
π
︎ Jun 22 2019
I went to visit a friend at the hospital and found a spot in the βCβ section of the parking lot.
I had to climb out of the sunroof.
π︎ 21
π
︎ May 07 2019
I parked in the C section of the parking lot.
I had to climb out of the sunroof.
π︎ 66
π
︎ Jun 17 2018
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