I wanted to make a post with a joke about musical notes. I first attempted to use Do or Mi, but in the end I went with

a Re post.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RealTheAsh
πŸ“…︎ Aug 30 2020
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What is a pirates favourite musical note?

The high C.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/rimjobsarentbad
πŸ“…︎ Nov 02 2018
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I was using my sewing machine the other day and started making musical notes, then i realized....

I'm a Singer songwriter

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bullet_Catcher
πŸ“…︎ Dec 18 2019
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What musical note does a piano make when falling down a mine shaft?

...a flat minor

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kennethjc
πŸ“…︎ Jul 10 2017
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Why couldn't the musical note drink his beer?

Because he was A minor.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/GuyRichard
πŸ“…︎ Jul 21 2016
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I was reciting A, C, and E music notes in a bar. They kicked me out ...

They said no Minor allowed here . ..

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πŸ‘€︎ u/afarro
πŸ“…︎ Dec 25 2020
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Someone keyed a music note into my car

The damage appears to B Minor

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πŸ“…︎ Oct 21 2020
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A note on a music teacher's door read:

Gone Chopin, Bach in a minuet

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VVIIVVI
πŸ“…︎ Sep 29 2020
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if you're stealing someone's music you're taking notes
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πŸ‘€︎ u/maxisrichtofen
πŸ“…︎ Feb 04 2020
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A girl with no breasts went to music class. The music teacher calls her out for playing the wrong notes.

He told her she was too flat.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MelonSharkGaming
πŸ“…︎ Apr 26 2019
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The bass notes in classical music give me a headache

My doctor says it's just lower Bach pain.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mkaic
πŸ“…︎ Dec 26 2017
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What do you call something that can only play single notes of music and can connect you with anyone?

A chord-less phone.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mister-Bear
πŸ“…︎ Jun 13 2018
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Give me music puns!

I bought some guitar picks for my partner's belated bday and I want to have some musical puns engraved on them. I don't know enough about music to do a good job. I need puns that play on musical theory or musical notes, method, whatever... Anything that's more clever than "I pick you", which I think is cute but also underwhelming. These are guitar picks though, so short and simple are best. NSFW acceptable. PLE ASE HALP!!!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/og_cosmosis
πŸ“…︎ Apr 23 2020
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My Music Pun of the Week. I have to change it Every. Single. Week. I'm running out of ideas.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/melissaanne7
πŸ“…︎ Jul 02 2019
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If I were a trumpet player I would constantly borrow other people's trumpets.

I'd hate to toot my own horn.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/keithasaurus
πŸ“…︎ Sep 02 2018
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It's often said that Bach had a bad memory...

To remember to write music, he had to write himself a note.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Jul 14 2019
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I'm unobservant, and I keep bumping into things, so I made a note of it.

Bβ™―

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Feet2Big
πŸ“…︎ Oct 08 2016
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Hello...
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TakaComics
πŸ“…︎ Jul 31 2016
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Help me think of punny names for a team!

We are a singing group and we need a team name related to Valentine's Day. Gimme your best punny team name that involves love or singing or both!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/abbystellar
πŸ“…︎ Feb 01 2014
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I walked into my dad while holding a bunch of sheet music...

Him: hey looks like you scored big time!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/linktothenow
πŸ“…︎ Jan 02 2014
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I saw a critic of dramatic musicals pick up some women. He's a smooth opera rater.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/KickballJesus
πŸ“…︎ Jun 08 2017
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This was why I loved my granddad.

Granddad lying in hospital death bed Grandma: "Alright, write your grandson a note for him to remember you by." granddad picks up paper grandma gave him and writes a musical note on it It was his grand finally.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheVault77Dweller
πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2013
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What happens wen you drop a piano down a mineshaft?

A flat minor.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mc_douchebag
πŸ“…︎ Jul 23 2013
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Yesterday my wife and I were going through our daughter's graded school work . . .

When suddenly I said, "oh no, the teacher sent a note home from school!" and held up her music class homework.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/joeyheartbear
πŸ“…︎ Oct 19 2017
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He says things like this all the time

Sitting in my parent's living room with my wife, she just got some new TOMS shoes with sheet music on them.

Dad: Walks into living room and stares at wife's shoes

Wife: What are you staring at? laughs

Dad: Oh sorry, I was just...noting...your shoes

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DarthDaddy42
πŸ“…︎ Aug 04 2014
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Puns of Varying Quality on the Subject of Linguistics (created in a fit of procrastinative inspiration) some of which I thought someone, someday might appreciate.

Note: Quality Very Varying (I see what I did there) and sometimes subject to specialist knowledge. So I apologise in advance. Shame me with your better puns.

While I was languishing in the Language Centre, doing some semantics antics and considering how all the other linguistics students despised and derided me, I was accosted by a stout man with large glasses who made me a preposition. It was that I should collect terrible puns, to do with linguistics, in order to ingratiate myself yet further with the other linguistics students (including even the phonetics fanatics).

I'm struggling to think of a pun to do with grammaticality that both makes sense and "Is grandma tickly?" correct. I'm also stuck on 'morphologician'. (I'm not actually sure that's a particularly logical word for the subject, though I guess that's more for, er, more for a logician to worry about.)

The problem I have with writing about phonological variation is that one is constantly forced to choose between being fun or logical - very Asian!I always get in trouble with electricians, they think I'm calling them a 'dialectician' whereas in fact I'm just saying "Die, electrician."

I like pscycholinguistics – the only department of linguistics where it’s acceptable to wear a cycle helmet. My Australian accent is terrible but I like to think my Sath Efrican one is predicate. My favourite accent is Received Pronunciation, because it is the accent chiefly used by invisible Japanese people who are ordered online. When the first recipient of an invisible Japanese person got the parcel, they wrote a complaint saying "Received but can't see Asian" and the name stuck.

Why did the speakers whose native languages weren't English, but whose only shared language was English, but they weren't very good at it and kept on having to stop to think about it, stop talking to one another? They came to an agreement. (Get it? If not, write your answer on a pastecard and paste it to the below address.)

What did the 'a' say to the 'the'? "You definitely are ticklish, 'the'!"

Why was the small man eaten by the large bear, which was proportionately bigger than him? It had, er, relative claws.

I think the reason there are so many speakers of Russian is because they all partake in an activity called "copulae shun". (Ok, ok, I know, that was Pushkin it.)

I know a man called Hillary who can, might, should, did, must, shall and will ride an ox. We call him "Ox Hillary".

I always think the verb 'to be' in the senten

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kieuk
πŸ“…︎ Nov 28 2011
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Finally made my dad sigh

Dad (doing a crossword puzzle): What is a music note with four sharps?

Me: I don't know, but I bet it ain't flat and dull!

My dad just stared at his paper and sighed.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/flamingfluffyguns
πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2015
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Had A Good One in the Shower This Morning

So I was in the shower with my girlfriend this morning, and I have one of those Moxie Bluetooth showerheads so I can stream music from my phone to my shower.

At different points during the song, I was (gently) playing the cowbell part on her butt, cymbals on her stomach, etc.

During the guitar solo, I picked up some of her wet hair and began strumming the notes along with the song. She gave me a nasty glare.

And then, it hit me.

"Sorry babe. I just can't help playing HAIR guitar during this song!"

The look she gave me....

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πŸ‘€︎ u/flyingbear24
πŸ“…︎ Aug 30 2014
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What is a pirate’s favourite musical note?

The high C

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Eluceadtenebras
πŸ“…︎ Nov 09 2018
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