My friend just can't afford to pay his huge water bill...

I've just sent him a 'Get Well Soon' card.

πŸ‘︎ 151
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Apr 25 2021
🚨︎ report
Old McDonald built up huge debts...

IO IO U.

πŸ‘︎ 25
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Apr 21 2021
🚨︎ report
Cards against huge-manatees
πŸ‘︎ 23
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MrReeRee
πŸ“…︎ Mar 13 2021
🚨︎ report
My wife and I had a huge argument as to whose turn it was to do laundry.

Eventually, I folded.

πŸ‘︎ 93
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Mar 06 2021
🚨︎ report
Last night during a pretty aggressive thunderstorm, a huge lightening strike, along with an incredibly deafening thunder clap happened right next to our house.

Last night during a pretty aggressive thunderstorm, a huge lightening strike, along with an incredibly deafening thunder clap happened right next to our house. It was about 11pm and Susan was snuggled up to her Mother next to me in our bed. After a few seconds of Lori saying something soothing to our 9 year old she was holding, saying something like 'its ok, its just a little storm, we are safe...', I call out to our older 12 year old in her room just next door.

"Sarah!?" I called to her, in my normal tone to get her attention.

"Yeah? What?" She responded.

"Was that you?" I called back.

After a long pause Sarah replied "No Dad. That was thunder!"

I could not stop laughing.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tnotm
πŸ“…︎ Apr 12 2021
🚨︎ report
a huge PhD
πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/rzwnxy
πŸ“…︎ Mar 24 2021
🚨︎ report
I couldn't make it to the top of that huge tower in France....

I fell.

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Apr 07 2021
🚨︎ report
I just killed a huge spider running across the floor with my shoe.

I don't care how big the spider is, no one steals my shoe!

πŸ‘︎ 45
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…︎ Mar 20 2021
🚨︎ report
My dog is huge but he isn’t very good-looking, smart or obedient.

I suppose you could call him a Good Dane.

πŸ‘︎ 28
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πŸ‘€︎ u/StandbyBigWardog
πŸ“…︎ Feb 14 2021
🚨︎ report
What do you call an ox with a huge ass ?

Buttox.

πŸ‘︎ 23
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Feb 24 2021
🚨︎ report
There is a HUGE snowstorm today in Washington, DC

There are thousands of snowflakes gathering in DC, crying because they lost the election and they can't con their way to victory.

πŸ‘︎ 22
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πŸ‘€︎ u/40ozT0Freedom
πŸ“…︎ Jan 06 2021
🚨︎ report
Just wanna say im a huge fan
πŸ‘︎ 31
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HamadRajput
πŸ“…︎ Dec 07 2020
🚨︎ report
Wow, I can’t believe I didn’t know this sub existed. I gotta say, I am a HUGE FAN!
πŸ‘︎ 85
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AliTheHigh
πŸ“…︎ Nov 01 2020
🚨︎ report
In a freak accident today, a photographer was killed when a huge lump of cheddar landed on him.

To be fair, the people who were being photographed did try to warn him.

πŸ‘︎ 239
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VVIIVVI
πŸ“…︎ Oct 09 2020
🚨︎ report
I was in the garden last night and to my surprise there was this huge UFO, just hovering....

So, I rushed indoors to get the worst camera I could find, to film it with.....

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Feb 04 2021
🚨︎ report
Did this painting for my friend (far right) who is a huge Pittsburgh steelers fan. His favorite player is Troy Polamalu... And he likes puns. That's me in the middle.l in my favorite jumper. Thoughts??? reddit.com/gallery/kkbp9y
πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/smike1981
πŸ“…︎ Dec 26 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about that huge campfire?

It was friggin' in-tents.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Whymustudodat
πŸ“…︎ Jan 30 2021
🚨︎ report
What would a huge FBI scandal be called?

Investi-gate.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DENelson83
πŸ“…︎ Jan 09 2021
🚨︎ report
McDonalds is working with Apple to create a huge gaming computer

They're calling it the Big Mac

πŸ‘︎ 53
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πŸ‘€︎ u/professorf
πŸ“…︎ Oct 27 2020
🚨︎ report
I got into this huge fight with my chiropractor half way through my neck massage.

Now I have to keep looking over my shoulder.

πŸ‘︎ 45
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Dec 05 2020
🚨︎ report
Best game to play on a huge boat?

Yacht-zee

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01 2021
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the guy who went into the Everglades, found this huge sea-cow thing and beat it to death with the oar of his boat?

They're prosecuting him for crimes against a manatee.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Fitz_cuniculus
πŸ“…︎ Nov 06 2020
🚨︎ report
A guy was storing all the facial hair since he was young and had created a huge pile.

When his wife told him to get rid of it, he said "no, it's a must stash".

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Schrodingers_liar
πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2020
🚨︎ report
All of Norway's battleships have huge bar-codes printed on the side...

and when the ship comes to dock they Scandinavian.

πŸ‘︎ 69
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/wolf_math
πŸ“…︎ Oct 04 2020
🚨︎ report
Wife: Oh my god why have you got that huge lizard?

Husband: You said we needed a baby monitor!!

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ball-_-fondler
πŸ“…︎ Nov 24 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a huge pile of cats?

A meowtain.

πŸ‘︎ 73
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/shininglice
πŸ“…︎ Sep 01 2020
🚨︎ report
My wife and I had this huge argument as to which vowel is the most important.

I won.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Oct 18 2020
🚨︎ report
A french farmer who owned an olive plantation had a huge fire

He was extremely sad, he had lost his all his huile d'olive.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/bacononwaffles
πŸ“…︎ Nov 14 2020
🚨︎ report
A huge metal fan
πŸ‘︎ 3k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/EpicBro16
πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2019
🚨︎ report
I'm a huge fan of that
πŸ‘︎ 65
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Chev-Raughn
πŸ“…︎ Jun 24 2020
🚨︎ report
There was a huge explosion at the local cheese factory

Da brie was all over the place

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ducati0411
πŸ“…︎ Aug 20 2020
🚨︎ report
I almost made a huge mistake applying to Rice University.

I'm really a meat and potatoes kind of guy.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jdmpersson
πŸ“…︎ Oct 03 2020
🚨︎ report
I went to get a haircut on Saturday but the line outside was huge when l got there.

Then the owner came out giving free burgers and hotdogs to everybody there.

It was the best barber queue ever!

πŸ‘︎ 21
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Texgymratdad
πŸ“…︎ Aug 31 2020
🚨︎ report
A friend of mine is starting a new business... he thinks there's going to be a huge demand for cannabis-fed cattle.

I thought about investing, but the steaks are too high.

πŸ‘︎ 24
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VA_DiagSexAddict
πŸ“…︎ Aug 23 2020
🚨︎ report
I’m a huge fan of the rotation of the earth.

It really makes my day.

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MajicMan101
πŸ“…︎ Sep 20 2020
🚨︎ report
Due to the Coronavirus, there is a huge shortage of maternity ward staff.

It’s a midwife crisis.

πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Sep 12 2020
🚨︎ report
There must be a huge percentage of con men named Conner

So basically, stockbrokers.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/IceCoolBrutus
πŸ“…︎ Oct 17 2020
🚨︎ report
Hi a huge metal fan, I'm dad
πŸ‘︎ 103
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Cyclone9175
πŸ“…︎ Jun 09 2020
🚨︎ report
True Story - I saw a guy walking along with two huge mattresses strapped to his rucksack...

...I thought, at least he has something to fall back on.

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SweetCoverDrive
πŸ“…︎ Sep 14 2020
🚨︎ report
In addition to Taiwan, the US has also sold torpedoes to Vietnam. Rather than pay money, they traded with a huge bulk of food. The weapons are now called ...

Pho Ton Torpedoes.

(A consequence of reading a front page post about the sale to Taiwan while watching ST:TNG.)

πŸ‘︎ 25
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Metalprof
πŸ“…︎ May 21 2020
🚨︎ report
My 7 yr old sister did a huge fart and I told her to say excuse me and she follows with this:

Ex-POO-se me! 🀦

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/papadom94
πŸ“…︎ Aug 11 2020
🚨︎ report
Huge metal fan!
πŸ‘︎ 38
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/lgm225
πŸ“…︎ Jun 07 2020
🚨︎ report
In my my neighbor's home, their huge dog frequently sleeps at the landing at the top of their tall staircase causing a possible tripping hazard. Good advice to them....

Persons in their household should watch their steps, particularly early risers.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bardbelle
πŸ“…︎ Sep 22 2020
🚨︎ report
Old McDonald built up huge debts....

IO IO U.

πŸ‘︎ 66
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Feb 08 2021
🚨︎ report
My friend said that he couldn't afford to pay his huge water bill....

So, I sent him a 'Get Well Soon' card.

πŸ‘︎ 1k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Nov 11 2020
🚨︎ report
My friend just can't afford to pay his huge water bill...

I've sent him a Get Well Soon card.

πŸ‘︎ 60
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Jan 22 2021
🚨︎ report
This morning I killed a huge spider with my shoe

I don’t care how big a spider is, Nobody steals my shoe!

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/potato_fish12
πŸ“…︎ Nov 15 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a huge pile of cats?

A Meowntain

πŸ‘︎ 26
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/kickypie
πŸ“…︎ Oct 31 2020
🚨︎ report
My wife and I were having this huge argument as to whose turn it is to do laundry.

Finally, I threw in the towel.

πŸ‘︎ 137
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jul 10 2020
🚨︎ report

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