The worst hotel I've ever stayed in was called "The Fiddle".
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︎ Feb 07 2021
I was at a hotel and asked the front desk to switch my pillow out with one filled with feathers...
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︎ Feb 01 2021
A photon checks into a hotel. The bellhop asks if he can assist with any luggage.
The photon replies, โNo, Iโm traveling light.โ
๐︎ 203
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︎ Dec 23 2020
The Russian president was spotted on the roof of a hotel.
At that point, he was truly Putin on the Ritz.
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︎ Jan 20 2021
What do designer jeans and cheap hotels have in common?
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︎ Jan 01 2021
If I ever run a hotel, the free breakfast would be served from 7 tables all pushed together in the middle of the room.
It would be a Pangea breakfast
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︎ Jan 20 2021
What do you call a bunch of chess nerds bragging about their games in a hotel lobby?
Chess-nuts boasting in an open foyer.
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︎ Nov 25 2020
I decided to go on a vacation with my family. Almost all the hotel rooms were booked except one
It was our last resort...
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︎ Jan 08 2021
I was in the hotel lobby the other day when I heard 2 chess masters bragging about past wins.
They were chess nuts boasting in an open foyer
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︎ Sep 24 2020
Neo met Reese Witherspoon in a hotel room
after some time he said goodbye to his friend, Reese Wither
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︎ Dec 28 2020
My father and I were leaving our hotel room in Iraq and he almost forgot his suitcase.
I said donโt forget your Baghdad.
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︎ Oct 27 2020
What do you call a potato in a hotel room?
๐︎ 43
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︎ Nov 14 2020
A man is staying in a hotel.
He walks up to the front desk and says, โSorry, I forgot what room Iโm in, can you help me?โ
The receptionist replies, โNo problem, sir. This is the lobby.โ
๐︎ 14k
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︎ Mar 24 2020
I was at my hotel in Spain and wasn't feeling well.
Reception said they had a doctor on staff.
The doctor asked me lots of questions and I was then feeling much better.
I told reception I didn't expect a hotel would have a doctor on staff
They said it was a Spanish Inn Physician
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︎ Oct 19 2020
A photon checks into a hotel. "Need any help with your luggage sir?" asks the porter.
"No thanks " replies the photon. "I am travelling light."
๐︎ 11
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︎ Nov 22 2020
I got sick at this small hotel in Madrid.
I got sick at this small hotel in Madrid.
I called the front desk and they told me they had a doctor on staff.
After he made me feel better, I told him I was amazed that such a small place had a doctor.
He nodded and said "NO ONE EXPECTS THE SPANISH INN PHYSICIAN!!!!
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︎ Oct 06 2020
Cowboy goes in to a hotel and says a single room and a wardrobe for my horse. Your horse sir the manager replied!
Yes my horse is a Mustang and it mustang somewhere!
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︎ Sep 29 2020
The AC was broken at the hotel lobby I am staying at.
I wasn't expecting such a warm reception.
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︎ Aug 08 2020
A Hotel and B&B get into...
A Hotel and B&B get into an argument. The argument escalates fast! B&B, "You're just a glorified studio apartment!". Hotel, "Woah woah, why so Hostel?".
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︎ Sep 22 2020
I was planing on taking a shower at my hotel today...
...but apparently they bolt those things to the wall.
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︎ Sep 03 2020
My hotel elevator. Schindlerโs Lift
๐︎ 11
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︎ Jul 24 2020
A photon walks into a hotel
The desk clerk says, "Welcome to our hotel. Can we help you with your luggage? The photon replies, "No thank you, I'm traveling light."
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︎ May 08 2020
What does u/username do when he hates the hotel heโs staying at?
๐︎ 11
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︎ Jun 29 2020
I'm having second thoughts about my appointment to stay at a Native American hotel.
I'm having reservation reservation reservation. (BR)
๐︎ 5
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︎ Aug 08 2020
What do you call hotel with a lot of floors?
๐︎ 2
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︎ Apr 28 2020
An Italian man walks into a prestigious hotel.
After inspecting his room, he comes back to the hotel manager saying, "I would like six forks and a sheet" after noticing the absence of those items in his room.
He gets kicked out.
"Why did you kick him out?" says one of the hotel staff.
"He told me he wanted sex, fucks, and a shit!"
๐︎ 5
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︎ Jul 07 2020
Iโm pretty sure that the hotel receptionist was checking me out.
๐︎ 10k
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︎ Jan 01 2019
Thinking about opening a hotel for weed smokers.
Iโm gone call it Swisha Suites. Lol!
๐︎ 5
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︎ Jun 20 2020
I am staying at a hotel and watched a great movie last night with lots of cowboys, gunfights, and drinking.
It was the Best Western Iโve ever seen.
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︎ Mar 15 2020
Why are tight pants like a cheap hotel?
๐︎ 59
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︎ Dec 28 2019
Iโm opening a butchers shop above a hotel.
Itโs a cut above the rest.
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︎ Jan 19 2020
I'm thinkning about opening a hotel that also sells footwear.
I think it would be a real Shoe Inn.
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︎ Mar 22 2020
I had an employee at the hotel that ironed the bed sheets. I noticed that as the days wore on, the number of sheets ironed was going down.
Her job performance was de-creasing.
๐︎ 2
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︎ May 14 2020
Help!! Creative Minds Needed!!
My Dad has recently shown a fascination with space and NASA. Long story short, Christmas is coming up and my plan is to surprise him with an all expense paid trip to Florida for 4 days with passes to the Kennedy Space Center. Iโd schedule it around a launch so he would be able to see it in person. As well as checking out the area a bit since weโre there.
Which is where I need your help! I want to coordinate hints with presents that slightly hint at the trip. For example, I picked out a NASA tshirt, a space shuttle plush toy, assorted astronaut ice cream, socks that have planets and a rocket on them, mug that says โcoolest dad in the galaxy,โ a map/atlas of florida, and luggage tags. And the final gift Iโm thinking will be a letter that puts all the clues together and would include the plane tickets, car rental agreement, hotel confirmation, and the admission tickets in an envelope.
Can anyone give me ideas on what hints to use??
- Iโm still adding/taking away present ideas so if anyone has any better ideas please let me know!!
Thank you so much!! Any type of help is appreciated!! I donโt really have that โcreativeโ part of the mind... whether it be a rhyme or dad joke-y type hint, it doesnโt matter!
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︎ Nov 27 2020
I had been lost in Las Vegas for days, wandering the streets. Up ahead, I thought I saw my hotel...
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︎ Apr 20 2020
Hotel? Trivago
๐︎ 28
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︎ Dec 21 2019
My Dad and I went to a 5-star hotel. Hostess: Do you have reservations?
Dad: No, I am confident that I want to eat here
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︎ Feb 20 2020
What did the cracker say when he checked into a 5 star hotel?
๐︎ 4
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︎ Mar 29 2020
My review for a hotel run by pigs:
Great hogspitality; 5 stars
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︎ Feb 29 2020
I stayed at a hotel last night and came home with bed bugs!
๐︎ 10
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︎ Jan 21 2020
I tried to get a room at the library hotel
But everything was booked.
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︎ Dec 22 2019
If Kenny Loggins was to open a budget hotel complex in the woods...
.. Would they be called Kenny Log Inns?
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︎ Jan 16 2020
The worst hotel Iโve ever stayed in was called The Fiddle.
๐︎ 11
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︎ Jan 11 2021
How could you describe a group of chess grandmasters bragging about their skills in a hotel lobby?
Chess nuts boasting in an open foyer.
๐︎ 6
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︎ Dec 09 2020
The worst hotel I ever stayed at was called โThe Fiddleโ
๐︎ 3
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︎ Aug 13 2020
Photon checks into a hotel. Bellhop asks, โDo you have any luggage?โ
Photon replies, โNo, Iโm traveling light.โ
๐︎ 24
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︎ Mar 31 2020
What do you call a group of chess players talking about their wins in the lobby of their hotel?
Chess nuts boasting in an open foyer
๐︎ 13
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︎ Dec 13 2019
I met some chess players in the hotel lobby. They were bragging about how good they are.
It was Chess nuts boasting in an open foyer.
๐︎ 12k
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︎ Mar 29 2018
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