How do you calm a small child who likes astronomy?
Who were the greenest Presidents in US history?
I came second in my Astronomy Quiz
Thankfully I got a constellation prize.
I'm pretty good at history but I recently read about a Nazi war criminal who I'd never heard of before.
His name didn't ring any Gö- bells.
I am trying to read a book on the history of Sellotape...
But, I just can't find the beginning.
I have a friend with no social skills and a Ph.D in the history of palindromes.
I failed my history test because my teacher said I missed the question “what did France set up during the French Revolution?”
I still think “lots of guillotines” was a correct answer
37 years ago, the most oppressive and censored event in human history occurred.
My wife’s favorite class in High School was History
I should’ve known she’d be good at bringing up the past.
Did you know that Olive branch is a symbol of peace. People were using olive branch during the history to declare truce by giving it to their enemies
If you are wondering how I know this, it's because olive random trivia
That's history right there you understand
I just watched a documentary on the history of the WD-40.
I got an Art History degree but ended up being a mechanic
I had a customer who loved that I made their Van Gogh, but hated it when I talked their ear off.
There's a programme about the history of perfume on TV tonight.
It's on at 8pm on Chanel Number 5!
I've recently started writing an Ebook about the history of citrus fruits.
It's nowhere near finished, but the first chapter's on lime.
When teachers mix history and modern pop culture
I wanted to study astronomy...
What do you call a participation trophy in astronomy?
Today I read a pamphlet on the history of incandescent bulbs...
I’m reading a book on the history of glue....
I can’t seem to put it down.
I've spent all morning trying to think of a quality pun, just to come up with THIS otter rubbish.
Who was the most jovial conqueror in human history?
My Son Ate a Bunch of Scrabble Tiles. My Wife is Scared but I'm not...
He should have a good vowel movement. His next diaper change could spell disaster though.
Two drunk guys were about to get into a brawl. One of the guys grabs a stick and draws a line in the dirt and says "If you cross this line, I'll hit you in the face"
Chinese takeout: $11.77. Price of gas to get there: $3.00
Making it all the way home and realizing that they forgot one of the containers:
Riceless
Today on a walk my son was asking about a bunch of plants and stuff, he pointed to one and I said it was a fungi.
Without missing a beat he asks "Daddy, do you know how much room you need to grow Fungi like that?"
I did not know.
So he tells me "as Mushroom as possible!"
So proud.
My wife told me to pick up 8 cans of soda on my way home from work
She was pretty mad when I only picked seven up
Grandma is always saying to me ' Hey what's the name of that German guy again who keeps taking my stuff '
Alzheimer, Grandma, it's Alzheimer.
Always part of a classical dish
Did you know a colon can completely change the meaning of a sentence?
For example
- I ate my friend's lunch
- I ate my friend's colon
What do cannibals serve at the beginning of dinner party?
SpongeBob may be the main character of the show.
A conversation I had on a dating app. For context, her instagram is mainly pictures of chairs and her name rhymes with chair.
I’ve heard from many of my friends that my abilities in astronomy are really looking up!
Does this mean we're doomed?
I asked my German friend if he knew the square root of 81.
I got kicked out of astronomy class today
What kind of tree comes from your mouth?
What do you call a line of men waiting to get haircuts?
The one and only acceptable way of advertising
Scientist have actually discovered a feline-like life-form on Mars! But unfortunately, one of their rovers ran over it, and
Curiosity killed the cat :(
I’m sorry aboot these. Please don’t kick me out of this sub or shoe me away....
What kind of pet do you step on?
My friend keeps saying “Cheer up, man. It could be worse, you could be stuck underground in a hole full of water.”
I know he means well.
Edit: Wow. Thanks for the awards, kind Reddit strangers!
My wife just left me because of my obsession with astronomy.
In history class, the teacher taught said the Magna Carta was signed in 1215 and to write an essay on it. A student handed in his work with "The Magna Carta was signed in 1215" written 150 times.
The teacher asked the boy, "Why did you write this?" The boy replied, "Because you always say that history repeats itself!"
Ah sorry i didn't read the name of the subreddit right
I’ve just started my new book: ‘the history of glue’
History. History.
Did I just rewrite history? Or did history repeat itself?
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