His pun skills are top notch
π︎ 18
π
︎ May 29 2018
Iβve never met this guy but he posts food puns on every single food picture I post and heβs such a treasure. I always look forward to his puns now.
π︎ 30
π
︎ Apr 19 2019
Where is his pun-ishment
π︎ 45
π
︎ Jul 31 2017
B.J really going for gold with his puns.
π︎ 157
π
︎ Dec 05 2015
My wife looked at my son (7) yesterday and told him his shoes were on the wrong feet
Without missing a beat he said "They can't be, these are the only feet I have"
Proud dad moment!
π︎ 15k
π
︎ Dec 30 2020
How much does Santa pay to park his sleigh?
Nothing, it's on the house.
π︎ 12k
π
︎ Dec 23 2020
A buddy of mine named his dog β5 Milesβ so he could tell people he walked 5 miles
But today he ran over 5 Miles
π︎ 17k
π
︎ Nov 24 2020
How does a military dad alert his son that a hot lady is nearby?
π︎ 1k
π
︎ Jan 02 2021
A pirate walks into a bar with a paper towel on his head. The bartender asks, "Hey, what's with the paper towel?"
The pirate says, "Argh, I've got a Bounty on me head!"
π︎ 9k
π
︎ Nov 11 2020
Because of his enormous debt, Old McDonald has to sell his farm.
To cover what he e-i-e-i owes.
π︎ 438
π
︎ Jan 05 2021
My brother had to quit his job as a weightlifter because he wasn't strong enough.
He handed in his too weak notice yesterday.
π︎ 13k
π
︎ Nov 13 2020
My dad died when we couldn't remember his blood type
As he died, he kept insisting "be positive", but it's hard without him.
π︎ 20k
π
︎ Oct 21 2020
Dad to his son; βDo you want to hear a really good Batman impression!?β
Son; βGo on, then.β
Dad growls; βNOOOOO, NOT THE KRYPTONITE!β
Son; βThatβs Superman.β
Dad; βThanks, Iβve been practicing a lot.β
π︎ 15k
π
︎ Oct 23 2020
What does a presidential candidate who cant get his votes up suffer from?
π︎ 10k
π
︎ Nov 04 2020
Karl Marx is an historically famous figure, but nobody ever mentions his sister...
Onya Marx, who invented the starting pistol.
π︎ 528
π
︎ Dec 17 2020
Every day I come home and ask my dog how his day was, and every day he always gives the same answer...
π︎ 438
π
︎ Dec 26 2020
William Shatner has discontinued his line of ladies lingerie.
Apparently Shatner panties was a poor choice of name.
π︎ 15k
π
︎ Oct 13 2020
My son was just born and another dad at the hospital congratulated me and said his daughter was born yesterday.
He said, "Maybe they'll marry each other?"
"Sure, like my son is going to marry someone twice his age."
π︎ 658
π
︎ Dec 10 2020
Did you hear how the zombie bodybuilder hurt his back?
He was dead lifting.
Edit: Wow! Went to bed, went to work, checked this post, and holy hell did it blow up! Thanks for the awards, funny add-one and dad jokes! This sub is awesome!
π︎ 9k
π
︎ Oct 20 2020
If a father in Iraq gifts his daughter a new bag, what will she say?
π︎ 14k
π
︎ Sep 23 2020
Rudolph the red and his wife were on a stroll. Rudolph the red looked up at the sky and said "we should hurry up, there is a storm comming". So his wife asked "how do u know" and he replied...
"Rudolph the red knows rain dear"
π︎ 9k
π
︎ Oct 09 2020
My British friend was really proud of his heritage until he found out that his great grandfather was from Transylvania.
Now he canβt even look at himself in the mirror.
π︎ 258
π
︎ Dec 19 2020
A pediatric surgeon sewed his kids together as a new form of punishment.
If you canβt beat βem, join βem.
π︎ 35
π
︎ Jan 03 2021
My son accidentally smashed his foot on the table and as he was hopping around the room screaming in pain, I rushed to the phone, picked it up and asked him, "Do you want me to call..."
π︎ 178
π
︎ Dec 18 2020
My son asked me if I knew any good chemistry jokes as he'd just had his first chemistry class. I thought about telling him one about alkalinity...
But then I thought; 'Nah, too basic...'
π︎ 17
π
︎ Jan 07 2021
Where did Noah put all the beeβs in his Ark?
π︎ 13k
π
︎ Sep 09 2020
The lumberjack loved his computer so much.
He especially liked logging in.
π︎ 33
π
︎ Jan 04 2021
How did the hamburger introduce his girlfriend?
π︎ 59
π
︎ Dec 16 2020
My friend said that he couldn't afford to pay his huge water bill....
So, I sent him a 'Get Well Soon' card.
π︎ 1k
π
︎ Nov 11 2020
Where did Darth Vader get his helmet?
π︎ 44
π
︎ Dec 31 2020
I just saw Jesus & a couple of His disciples drive past me in a new car
Looks like it was a Christler
π︎ 10
π
︎ Dec 29 2020
Did you hear about the grape that betrayed his country?
π︎ 14
π
︎ Jan 04 2021
A small boy went to sex ed class and then asked his father
is this a dad joke?
No, son, its not. he replied. Can we stop it with all the sex jokes please? they aren't dad jokes and probably belong in plain old /r/jokes.
Sorry for the anti joke here, but its really getting old.
π︎ 7
π
︎ Jan 02 2021
Why did the pilot get sent to his room
π︎ 94
π
︎ Dec 07 2020
You have fallen into his trap
π︎ 753
π
︎ Oct 19 2020
A crow invited his buddies over to hang out but they didnβt show up.
He was charged with attempted murder.
π︎ 47
π
︎ Dec 25 2020
A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and says, βA beer please, ..."
"... and one for the road."
π︎ 13k
π
︎ Sep 15 2020
What did the pirate say on his 80th birthday?
π︎ 133
π
︎ Dec 17 2020
An egg got late to work. He says to his boss:
π︎ 30
π
︎ Dec 23 2020
A buffalo dropped his boy off at school and said...
π︎ 26
π
︎ Jan 04 2021
How does Moses make his tea?
π︎ 63
π
︎ Jan 03 2021
How does Jesus make his Coffee?
π︎ 586
π
︎ Nov 07 2020
My dog moon got his leg amputated, but that's ok...
He's a got a faux pas now
π︎ 5
π
︎ Jan 05 2021
I asked my son how he did on his school report about Canada
π︎ 18
π
︎ Jan 03 2021
What do you call a dinosaur that crashes his car?
π︎ 44
π
︎ Dec 28 2020
My dad died when we couldnβt remember his blood type
As he died he kept on insisting for us to βbe positiveβ, but itβs hard without him.
π︎ 104
π
︎ Dec 20 2020
How much does Santa pay to park his sleigh?
Nothing. Itβs on the house!
π︎ 297
π
︎ Dec 10 2020
My friend couldn't afford to pay his water bill
So I sent him a "get well soon" card
π︎ 15k
π
︎ Sep 07 2020
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