What did the Indian kid say to his mother before he left the house?
Why did Pinocchio spend all day cleaning his house?
How does a penguin make his house?
A man came back to his home one day to find his relatives crying near the house
He asked what was wrong and they told him that his wife had died and that they were preparing to bury her.
The man replied: "that's grave news!"
A guy brings his friend to see his new lake house. When they get there, they see a goose on the front steps.
The friend says "hey, is he yours?"
The guy replies "yep, kept him after I found him alone by the lake. He can't communicate with any of the other birds."
His friend looked confused. "Is he mute?"
"No. I think he speaks porch geese."
What did the 46th president say while taking the White House keys from the 45th on his way out?
I'm trying to convince my friend that being a fraudster isn't for him. I went over to his house the other day and he was putting canned meat in envelopes.
Apparently he was sending a bunch of Spam Mail.
Snoopy AKA Snoop dogg AKA the Red Baron has been spotted flying his Dogg house today. It is understood that he defeated his enemies in one fell snoop.
A man's house is his castle
A man is found dead in the desert. Cause of death appeared to be dehydration. The police go to his mother's house.
Told my dad I took care of getting the propane tanks at the house filled. His response?
My friend called me in a panic and shouted, “An evil wizard turned me into a tiny harp! I don’t know what to do!” Frantically, I drove all the way to his house only to find out...
...he’s really a big lyre.
A friend invited me to his house for a party
When I arrived, his house was on fire. Damn, the party must be lit.
What do you call a monkey that cant get into his house?
I asked my grandfather how he was enjoying the new stairlift that was installed in his house.
He said, “It’s driving me up the wall.”
The person who had once kidnapped me got released after serving 10 years in prison. Since then, I secretly follow him to his house every single day without his knowledge.
I guess I'm suffering from 'stalk home' syndrome.
A thief broke into a guy's house, stole his stuff, killed the man, and turned him into a large cup…
Why was the electrician happy to arrive at his house after work?
Because there’s no place like ohm.
My friend keeps asking me if I’ll help him build a dock behind his lake house, even though I keep telling him “no.”
Honestly, I’m feeling a lot of pier pressure.
A man entered his home and discovered that someone had stolen every single lamp present in the house.
He was absolutely delighted.
After my son’s team won the soccer game, the goalkeeper invited us to his house for a party.
It was the father, the son, and the goalie host.
I told my friend to build a road from his house to his job
Now he’ll pave the way to success
Why did the architecture student get points off on his blueprint of a Soviet house?
Unnecessary Marx and Engels.
What did the cinnamon say to the paprika when he arrived at his house
How does an eskimo build his house ?
A kid lights his house on fire.
Dad: putting arm around his wife, both tearing up That’s arson.
How does a drunk open his house?
Why couldn’t the whistleblower leave his house?
Came with the house my brother bought. The thing sticking out is his tuning fork
Bon Jovi has lost his mind and relocated from his house to a fruit.
An eskimo was showing another eskimo pictures of his house...
... The other eskimo said "That's an ice picture!".
Me and my wife were scrambling to leave the house today. I happened to introduce myself to the mailman at the perfect time. His name was Mikey. Just then I turned back inside...
And yelled "HONEY, I FOUND THEM!"
A man who lived by the sea grew a cucumber so large he was able to turn it into his house.
One day a storm flooded the area with seawater and damaged his home... now he's in a pickle.
Why did the burglar break into his own house?
He had to work from home.
How did spiderman know it wasn't his Aunt May in front of his house?
There was an Ock at the door!
What did the mouse use to build his house?
What do you call it when a farmer is stuck in his house and can’t get out to the fields?
My friend boasted that he domesticates cats from Africa for a living. I stopped by his work, and he was working with house cats...
How did Pixar decide on a name for the movie about an elderly man who attached balloons to his house?
My friend told me he never disinfects his house, but I don’t trust him.
I recently moved in with my rich dad to his house on the French country side. I’m afraid I’ll never be as successful as him and buy my own place.
I guess I’ll always live in my fathers chateau.
I asked my grandfather how he’s enjoying the new stair lift that was recently installed in his house.
He said, “I hate it. It’s driving me up the wall.”
What did the Indian guy say to his mum when his mum left the house?
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