Our house heating system broke down -

It was 50 degrees in the house this morning (10, if you're into metric). The HVAC guy made an emergency visit and fixed it up. It's well below freezing outside, so it was a legitimate emergency.

I told my wife, "I think you pay too much for school. We just got twenty degrees for seven hundred dollars!"

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👤︎ u/ScribbleJ
📅︎ Nov 21 2014
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What's more effective than a heat-seeking missile?

A heat-seeking hittle

👍︎ 2k
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📅︎ Apr 17 2018
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My dad making fun of me for the time I broke rice

When you cook rice at too high a heat, it "breaks." This has followed me [female, btw] all my life as proof of my lack of cooking skills. One day, he was bringing this up, and the weekend before, I had made perfect scrambled eggs. So I retorted, "I can make eggs." To which he replied. "Yeah? But why are we talking about your reproductive system?"

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📅︎ Mar 11 2016
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