50 Shades of Hay.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tway_UX
πŸ“…︎ Mar 11 2021
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You know, out West they're started to ban those big round bales of hay you see in that field over there..

.... The cows aren't getting three square meals a day.

(Also, to those who tell dad jokes at every opportunity, I really appreciate you. As a person who grew up without the joy of a pops embarrassing me with terrible jokes, I was always bewildered by the stereotype. Recently though, I've been taking a microeconomics course I was dreading having to take and my professor has "big econ dad" energy. There's a joke every few minutes in his lectures and they give me the energy to keep going. You are appreciated. Even if your kids, spouse, partner, friends, strangers groan at you, undoubtedly someone out there really appreciates your goofiness).

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πŸ‘€︎ u/plantborb
πŸ“…︎ Apr 14 2021
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From my 5-year-old son: "Hey"

True story; it even happened last night. My 5-year-old son walks up behind me and out of the blue says, "hey."

I turn to him and say, "yeah, kiddo? What's up?"

He responds, "it's dead grass."

I'm really confused and trying to figure out what's wrong and what he wants from me. "What? There's dead grass? What's wrong with that?"

.

.

.

He says, totally straight-faced, "hay is dead grass," and runs off.

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πŸ“…︎ May 10 2021
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I'm making a new documentary about hay-fever, called 'My Nose.'

My Nose will be streaming soon.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Feb 07 2021
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Straw. Straw. Straw. Straw. Straw. Straw. Straw. Straw. Straw. Straw. Straw. Straw. Straw. Straw. Straw. Straw. Straw. Straw. Straw. Straw. Straw. Straw. Straw. Straw. Straw. Straw. Straw. Straw. Straw. Straw. Straw. Straw. Straw. Straw. Straw. Straw. Straw. Straw. Straw. Straw. Straw. That's it.

The last straw.

πŸ‘︎ 15k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/iMakeCrap
πŸ“…︎ Feb 26 2021
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My posts were removed.

Someone took a fence.

πŸ‘︎ 1k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/coot32
πŸ“…︎ Apr 08 2021
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Not mine but hay, its still pretty good
πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/W4ffl3copter
πŸ“…︎ Jan 14 2020
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Hay bales under a buck
πŸ‘︎ 10k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HulkHoff
πŸ“…︎ Dec 04 2019
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🌾 🌾 🌾 πŸ˜‚
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ZachTF
πŸ“…︎ Mar 24 2021
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What did the dying cowboy say right before he shuffled off his mortal coil?

Whoa is me

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πŸ‘€︎ u/WaynePrndl
πŸ“…︎ Apr 16 2021
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Being a scarecrow isn't for everyone.

Butt hay, it's in my jeans.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/flashblazer
πŸ“…︎ Apr 10 2021
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You know those big round bales of hay? they are illegal in Wyoming...

Yeah, It turns out that the animals weren't getting a square meal.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/phlatbroke
πŸ“…︎ Jul 30 2020
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How do Farmers greet their cows?

Hay

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πŸ‘€︎ u/geckheck
πŸ“…︎ Apr 09 2021
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Hay bales for sale. Good price, under a buck.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ehmeyekayee
πŸ“…︎ Dec 04 2019
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Made from whole hay (Made by Vincent Trinidad)
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DBrownGames
πŸ“…︎ Dec 15 2019
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My daughter wants a horse...

But first we need a stable income.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MyLatestInvention
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2020
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A man was admitted to the hospital for horses in him

He’s in stable condition

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Nickatier_Carbs
πŸ“…︎ Feb 17 2021
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Hey! There’s hay in the road! v.redd.it/jss1e9ygnwh31
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πŸ“…︎ Aug 22 2019
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What did the farmer say when he found out that his tractor was missing?

Where's my tractor?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Navneeth_Menon
πŸ“…︎ Feb 07 2021
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Spotted at the county fair. He's probably part of the Hay-waymen
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HosstaLaVista
πŸ“…︎ Jul 31 2019
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People who identify as hay can now get married.

They just have to find a bale bondsman.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/wingerd33
πŸ“…︎ Oct 24 2019
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A farmer’s convict son was supposed to be helping him with the chores. When he looked behind the barn, his son was asleep on the hay.

He was out on bale.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/boogerknows
πŸ“…︎ Nov 29 2019
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My boss is making me dig through a stack of hay bare-handed to look for anything that shouldn’t be there. I suspect he dropped his wedding ring while having an affair with the new girl he hired in the pile and now he is desperate to hide the evidence from his wife who might be on to him.

But I’m just grasping at straws here.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Propagansus
πŸ“…︎ Mar 09 2019
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Hay, y'all!
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Flimsy_Classic
πŸ“…︎ Apr 14 2019
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Some guy on a tractor keeps driving past my house shouting, β€œTHE END IS NIGH!!! THE END IS NIGH!!!”

It might be farmer Geddon.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/andersonfmly
πŸ“…︎ Oct 23 2020
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What's a bale of hay's favourite fruit?

A straw-berry

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πŸ‘€︎ u/EternalMotivation
πŸ“…︎ Nov 18 2019
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What do scarecrows say at the end of their prayers?

Hay men.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/knives696
πŸ“…︎ Mar 25 2021
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Did you see they made round bails of hay illegal in Wisconsin? It’s because the cows weren’t getting a square meal.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ruchi565
πŸ“…︎ Nov 16 2019
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I've had enough of people stealing my hay...

It's the last straw

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πŸ‘€︎ u/machi_koro
πŸ“…︎ Mar 13 2019
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I know a man who makes horse feed while his child polishes shoes

He makes hay while the son shines.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Flaky_Explanation
πŸ“…︎ Feb 25 2021
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Did you hear about the guy who got arrested for stealing hay?

He made bale.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/wonder-er
πŸ“…︎ Sep 04 2019
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They recently banned cylindrical hay bales in North Dakota

The legislature was worried that that the cows weren't getting a square meal

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BrokenheroReddit
πŸ“…︎ Aug 31 2019
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I have hay-fever at the moment

Snot funny.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bansel
πŸ“…︎ Sep 07 2019
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Passed a farm with a sign that said "selling hay", but there was noone there

They might get more business selling "hello's" or "hi's"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/P_mp_n
πŸ“…︎ Oct 26 2019
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My horse has insomnia and keeps everyone awake

She's a nightmare

πŸ‘︎ 1k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…︎ Jun 29 2020
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I recently heard that the agriculture industry will be discontinuing baling hay in big rolls

The livestock can’t get a square meal!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/oldwahsatch
πŸ“…︎ Sep 09 2019
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(OC) Why do magicians not use horses in their acts?

Because they aren’t just difficult, they are neigh impossible!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/faux_real_yo
πŸ“…︎ Dec 04 2020
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mr_frankenstein
πŸ“…︎ Mar 03 2015
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A guy I knew tried to steal some hay but he got caught and was sent to prison.

I had to bale him out.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Pun-isher42
πŸ“…︎ Jun 07 2019
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I was cutting hay today when all the workers left!

I don't know why they baled on me...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Apr 20 2019
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I like to combine words like hay and maze to mayze

But when I swap for aces of spades, I'm trading Spaces

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πŸ‘€︎ u/maxxbreaker
πŸ“…︎ Jun 04 2019
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My friend asked if I would help him move hay on the farm the other day...

I didn’t want to so I bailed

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πŸ‘€︎ u/chaseo2017
πŸ“…︎ Apr 12 2019
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Hay!
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cerealcake
πŸ“…︎ Nov 20 2017
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Did you hear they made round hay bales illegal?

Cows weren't getting a square meal.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/aussietin
πŸ“…︎ Jun 13 2019
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The fda has decided to outlaw the round hay bails.

It appears cows aren't getting a square meal.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jablothegreat
πŸ“…︎ Aug 26 2019
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Did you see they made round bails of hay illegal in Wisconsin?

It’s because the cows weren’t getting a square meal.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/lobsterbash
πŸ“…︎ Feb 06 2019
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Did you hear about the guy that got arrested for stealing hay?

He made bale.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/flyersfan3452
πŸ“…︎ Aug 25 2018
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