Even though I'm an avid duck and goose hunter, I don't own any calls.

My wife doesn't want me using fowl language.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/StuntsMonkey
πŸ“…︎ Jan 15 2021
🚨︎ report
A guy brings his friend to see his new lake house. When they get there, they see a goose on the front steps.

The friend says "hey, is he yours?"

The guy replies "yep, kept him after I found him alone by the lake. He can't communicate with any of the other birds."

His friend looked confused. "Is he mute?"

"No. I think he speaks porch geese."

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πŸ“…︎ Jan 21 2021
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What does an Egyptian goose say?

Ankh, ankh!

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sir_Pluses
πŸ“…︎ Nov 22 2020
🚨︎ report
What kind of clothes are made with Australian goose feathers?

Down Under wear

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SplashbackDeuce
πŸ“…︎ Dec 28 2020
🚨︎ report
"Egg-plant" shirt by me. Never got why the vegetable was called that until I found out that they used to be white and look like goose eggs back in the day
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πŸ‘€︎ u/stephaniehuang66
πŸ“…︎ Jun 25 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a fat goose?

A chonky honky

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/flippantteacup
πŸ“…︎ Sep 06 2020
🚨︎ report
After an argument, my cooking instructor wants me to stew goose feathers gently below or just at the boiling point...

She wants me to simmer down!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Jul 30 2020
🚨︎ report
GOOse. Yea i know its stupid.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/NeedsHelpBad2023
πŸ“…︎ Jun 04 2020
🚨︎ report
Geese fly in a V-formation for aerodynamics, and when the lead goose gets tired he switches out his position. But one side of the V is almost always longer than the other. Do you know why?

More geese on that side.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/gamerspoon
πŸ“…︎ Apr 12 2020
🚨︎ report
I stole my friends goose by mistake

He told me to come over take a gander.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/badasscdub
πŸ“…︎ May 07 2020
🚨︎ report
A goose attacked a little girl for fun and said

I thought she'd duck

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BOTB03
πŸ“…︎ Apr 17 2020
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Lucy Goose
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AshBashNinja813
πŸ“…︎ Jan 08 2020
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What do you call a goose with β€œwandering eyes?”

A gandering gander

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/gardeningnovice
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01 2020
🚨︎ report
What did one goose ask the other after looking at the shit on the road?

Goose shit is this?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SadLogarithm
πŸ“…︎ Jan 29 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call panko fried goose?

Honkatsu

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πŸ‘€︎ u/GirtBySteez
πŸ“…︎ Jan 19 2020
🚨︎ report
A goose talking to duck at the local pond. β€œMy husbands gone away for a few weeks to Africa”. β€œOh really.” Says the the Duck β€œUganda?”...

β€œNo I’m a goose. My husband is a gander”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/cwwspurs
πŸ“…︎ Jan 17 2020
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Goose Bumps
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πŸ‘€︎ u/vdesi
πŸ“…︎ Aug 27 2019
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Goose bumps
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Captainspookle
πŸ“…︎ Jun 25 2019
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pun help: naming an Egyptian goose

what do we got reddit?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/HalifaxJosh
πŸ“…︎ May 22 2019
🚨︎ report
When will Ryan Gosling be old enough to be called Ryan Goose?
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sheep_Thrills
πŸ“…︎ Dec 10 2018
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I’ve come up with a new name for the Untitled Goose Game.

Titled Goose Game.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/I-think-Im-funny
πŸ“…︎ Nov 17 2019
🚨︎ report
I identify as a male goose

I guess that makes me transgander.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Valdagast
πŸ“…︎ Oct 20 2019
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The ultimate dad joke a Hollywood could pull would be casting Ryan Gosling as Goose’s son in Top Gun 2.
πŸ‘︎ 21
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Conan-doodle
πŸ“…︎ Aug 06 2019
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Goose Bumps
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dainironfootdk
πŸ“…︎ Apr 21 2018
🚨︎ report
What do you call a goose that has changed sex?

Transgander

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/unwildimpala
πŸ“…︎ Aug 09 2019
🚨︎ report
Goose was never going to make it as an ace pilot anyway....

He hit a glass ceiling.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/GreatCrambino
πŸ“…︎ Jul 25 2019
🚨︎ report
As a computer programmer, I love goose-feather pillows...

Because they are down-loaded!

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Jul 26 2019
🚨︎ report
It would be funny if a goose would play Duck, Duck , Goose with you

β€˜Cause even if you call him duck, he would still chase after you.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ“…︎ Jul 09 2019
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At what age will Ryan Gosling change his name to Ryan Goose?
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πŸ“…︎ May 10 2016
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if you teach a goose to use a computer, is it a technical fowl?
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πŸ“…︎ Mar 01 2019
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Why did the goose flee after going to the haunted place

It had goosebumps

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/GalaxyYoghurt
πŸ“…︎ Feb 11 2019
🚨︎ report
What does a goose get when it’s cold?

People bumps

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πŸ“…︎ Dec 23 2018
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If the plural of goose is geese then the plural of moose is meese.
πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/A-Aron_James
πŸ“…︎ Jul 29 2018
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Why this goose got a more interesting life than I do?!
πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DawnOfArkham
πŸ“…︎ Oct 14 2017
🚨︎ report
The goose said to me, β€œquuuaack, quack quack?”

I replied, β€œquack, quaaack, quack.”

My brother said, β€œI didn’t know you speak Portugeese.”

πŸ‘︎ 21
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ChaosAvenue
πŸ“…︎ Jul 28 2018
🚨︎ report
I just bought a new goose, but it's massive!

It is truly humongoose.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ“…︎ Apr 17 2018
🚨︎ report
What do you call turbulence while riding a goose?

Goose bumps

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πŸ‘€︎ u/camshend
πŸ“…︎ Feb 01 2018
🚨︎ report
I found out that my pillow is stuffed with goose feathers.

That makes me feel down.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Musicguy1982
πŸ“…︎ Jan 10 2018
🚨︎ report
If a goose can fly away from the sun at 20mph, how fast can he fly toward the sun?

puts hand over eyes and flaps the other arm like a wing 10mph.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/floragenocide
πŸ“…︎ Mar 12 2018
🚨︎ report
Have you heard about the goose that got into some drugs?

Apparently he's all ducked up on quack

πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AmazinBacon
πŸ“…︎ Nov 16 2017
🚨︎ report
The Rolling Stone’s jet hit a goose, killing the drummer and the bass player…

Killed two stones with one bird.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/comeonyea
πŸ“…︎ Feb 27 2018
🚨︎ report
Unfortunately, my child was conceived as me and my husband had sex under a goose-feather duvet...

So he was born with down syndrome.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/moby__dick
πŸ“…︎ May 30 2014
🚨︎ report
I went through the trouble of cooking goose and pairing it with a exceptional whisky, but my sister hated it.

Last night at the bar though she swore she need that fine rye and gosling in her life. I was sure it would Drive her crazy. What Eva

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PaxPaw
πŸ“…︎ Jan 28 2018
🚨︎ report
How’d the goose get a huge tax return?

His bill was tax de-duck-table

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MBTAHole
πŸ“…︎ Jan 29 2018
🚨︎ report
Why didn't the recently single goose lose her job when she made a mistake?

Because she had one heck of an ex-goose

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheFifthStep
πŸ“…︎ Aug 22 2016
🚨︎ report
Crossed a bridge over Goose Creek on a road trip

I turned to my girlfriend and said, "Look! Goose creek!"

After crossing over it and not seeing much i said, "Wasn't much to gander."

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DJReddyRed
πŸ“…︎ Jul 14 2014
🚨︎ report

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