He'll install windows
Both boxed.
He's an Ex-Boxer
He had an ax to grind.
I instantly responded “I swear it was new when I bought it” this was the moment I knew my wife and I we’re ready to start trying.
I told him I miter saw who it was...
Supplies!
So there were 6 of us...
With freezing rain pouring down on us at the end of a long work day, and in the middle of a daunting task- pulling underground cables, linking four transformers together (a task where something goes wrong about 50% of the time)
There is a jet line (pulling line) attached to the head of the cable being ran, and as we are nearing completion I hear my foreman (standing at the endpoint) yell "THE JET LINE IS FRAYING!!!".
Without pause I scream back "I was a FRAYED this would happen!"
The tension on the line ceases, and I look around and see 5 blank expressions just staring back at me.
Best day of my comedic life
GF: Really?
Me: Yes.
George Foreman: How so?
I go by Sir Loin
I said to the foreman, “That sure is a big rock!”
“Boulder,” he corrected me.
So I stuck out my chest and shouted, “THAT SURE IS A BIG ROCK!!”
There were three clowns; one crane operator, one pole climber, one guide. The guide tied the crane to the end of a pole. The crane operator would then pick the pole up on end. The climber climbed to the top and dropped a tape measure which the guide promptly read and noted the measurement. The crane operator then lowered the pole to the ground and repositioned to pick up another pole.
This went on several times when the foreman came over and asked why they couldn’t measure the poles while they were laying on the ground?
The clowns replied, “we need to know how tall the poles are, not how long!"
source: http://bestcleanfunnyjokes.com/three-clowns-measuring-a-pole/
Back in the old USSR, a Soviet inspector met with the foreman of a large manufacturing facility.
Inspector: good morning comrade, how many men work here?
Foreman: about half
This morning at break our foreman is eating breakfast and says "This bagel isn't even cut", to which I reply "It must not be Jewish". He didn't laugh.
-
Accounts Payable Administrator_______________Imelda Czechs
-
Accounts Payable Clerk, Moscow Office__________Dasha Chekhov
-
Air-Quality Monitor _________________________Carmine Dioxide
-
Caffeine Addiction Counselor__________________Bruno Moore
-
Chief Legal Counsel_________________________ Hugh Louis Dewey of Dewey, Cheetham & Howe
-
Cliche Monitor_____________________________Saul Wellingood
-
Clothing Designer__________________________Hugh Jass
-
Credit Counselor___________________________Max Stout
-
Director of Purchasing_______________________Lois Bidder
-
Director of Pavlovian Research________________Isabelle Ringing
-
Divorce Attorney___________________________Carmine Nottyors
-
Dog Trainer_______________________________Don Chase Katz
-
Ebay Specialist____________________________Selma Junkoff
-
Head of Security___________________________Barb Dwyer
-
Global Economics Forecaster_________________Helena Handbasket
-
Marine Biologist___________________________Frieda Wales
-
Father-in-Law Liaison_______________________Royal Payne Diaz
-
Mother-in-Law Liaison______________________Stella Payne Diaz
-
Official Spokesperson_______________________Howie Vasive
-
Restroom Attendants_______________________Trudy Door & Donna Hall
-
Russian Chauffeur__________________________Picov Andropov
-
Scout Leader______________________________Lawson D. Woods
-
Shop Foreman_____________________________Luke Bizzy
-
Staff Intuitionist____________________________Ivan Inkling
-
Used Car Salesman_________________________Alexis Itznot
Full list can be found here: http://www.cartalk.com/content/staff-credits
They had a foreman team.
While putting up framework in a construction site, a worker waves at the crane operator about to place a main support beam and yells "stop, that beam isn't strong enough! There's no way this will hold the upper levels!". The foreman pushes the worker aside and yells to the crane driver "It's fine. Truss me, I'm an engineer!"
Me: I usually cook bacon on a Foreman Grill.
Dad: This is a Foreman.
Me: Huh?
Dad: pointing at himself It's FOR MAN.
Me talking to my wife's dad: So what's different about being a foreman on a hospital build site than a hotel?
Dad-in-law: I have a lot more patients.
Both boxed
