Drat! Foiled again!
πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dismyweeedcount
πŸ“…︎ May 30 2020
🚨︎ report
Foiled again!
πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jacjson9
πŸ“…︎ Feb 06 2020
🚨︎ report
Foiled it.
πŸ‘︎ 1k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rvghteous
πŸ“…︎ Aug 15 2017
🚨︎ report
Girlfriend's dad ripped the aluminum foil: "Damn, foiled again!"
πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dadosky2010
πŸ“…︎ Nov 28 2013
🚨︎ report
When driving by lowered, loud pipe cars I like to point at the air foil in the back and yell,

β€œSpoiler alert!”

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PhoKit2
πŸ“…︎ Feb 18 2021
🚨︎ report
PA + PN + LA + LN

Oh no, my (P + L)(A + N) has been FOILed!

πŸ‘︎ 1k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/GoodOldDragon
πŸ“…︎ Feb 06 2021
🚨︎ report
What happens when you eat tin foil?

You sheet metal

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Iskelmaikel
πŸ“…︎ Oct 27 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the leftovers covered with aluminum say?

Foiled again!

πŸ‘︎ 21
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ShadeTreeMechanix
πŸ“…︎ Feb 02 2021
🚨︎ report
I regret nothing :p
πŸ‘︎ 28
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tooladrake
πŸ“…︎ Aug 30 2020
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This tin foil rose my wife made me for our 10 year β€œtin” anniversary.
πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ“…︎ Oct 01 2019
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Aluminum foil
πŸ‘︎ 27
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jjfan01
πŸ“…︎ Oct 15 2019
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If I could be a superhero I'd be Aluminum man...

That way I could foil crime.

πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mickerallen100
πŸ“…︎ Feb 20 2021
🚨︎ report
My cat kept trying to climb my Christmas tree so I put aluminum around the base of the tree.

Her plans have been foiled.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/callmefinny
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2020
🚨︎ report
I tried to rob a bank but the vault was covered in a thin layer of aluminum

Needless to say, my plans were foiled

πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ElizaWolf8
πŸ“…︎ Jun 19 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the aluminum bandits say when they were caught?

We've been foiled.

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/xj3ewok
πŸ“…︎ Aug 17 2020
🚨︎ report
It's a tinfinity gauntlet.
πŸ‘︎ 137
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πŸ‘€︎ u/communistmango
πŸ“…︎ Sep 07 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call tin foil hat graduates of the National Secret Honor Society?

The Aluminumati.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bbtehbuild
πŸ“…︎ Jul 29 2019
🚨︎ report
Watch "Word Play Hotel - Foil Arms and Hog" on YouTube youtu.be/q8vzTo70izI
πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/hpar1
πŸ“…︎ Dec 15 2018
🚨︎ report
First day as a superhero

Villain: why is my calendar wrapped in aluminum?

Me: I foiled your plans.

[I am immediately killed]

πŸ‘︎ 28
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πŸ‘€︎ u/neospygil
πŸ“…︎ Jul 31 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call burned aluminum foil?

Burnt Reynolds

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/lexluthzor
πŸ“…︎ Feb 20 2019
🚨︎ report
My uncle's friend won the Olympic gold with an epee made from a disposable thin metal sheet often used in cooking...

It was a good aluminum foil

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Nov 05 2020
🚨︎ report
Easter and April Fools’ are on the same day this year.

For efficiency, send your kids to look for eggs that you haven’t hidden.

πŸ‘︎ 10k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Mar 31 2018
🚨︎ report
What did the leftover food say when it's put into the fridge?

Drats! Foiled again!

πŸ‘︎ 28
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AnnaEd64
πŸ“…︎ Nov 12 2019
🚨︎ report
I went to the grocery store today, planning to steal some aluminum.

My plans were foiled by the police.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Nov 05 2019
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the Thanksgiving turkey who tried to escape the roasting pan?

He was foiled.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Thisb0i
πŸ“…︎ May 12 2019
🚨︎ report
Got my wife while making dinner

She asked me to place some aluminum foil on some cookie sheets so I did. Then I threw my hands in the air and said:

My pans have been foiled.

πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mrmeanmustid
πŸ“…︎ Sep 14 2016
🚨︎ report
A mad bomber walks into a bar . . .

He lit the fuse on his bomb and the bartender sprayed him with water from the soda-gun, dousing the bomb and putting out the fuse. The bartender said, β€œI foiled your plan mad bomber now get out before I call the cops!!” The mad bomber re-fused.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/boogerknows
πŸ“…︎ Oct 25 2019
🚨︎ report
Dad foils my brother's attempts to sound tough

Brother: I'm just heading to hang out with my homeboys.

Dad: Yeah, they call themselves the homeboys because they're always home in time for dinner.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/supersmileys
πŸ“…︎ Nov 11 2013
🚨︎ report
Buwanna

I recall from my youth, a time of great adventure. My friends and I on safari hunting the Great North-American Man-Eating Female Butt-Ox.

The hunt was difficult and expensive. Once one has been identified as an acceptable specimen you need to slow its wits and dull its decision making process. This is best accomplished with loud music, flashing lights and alcohol. But even then the hunt can be foiled by rushing in to early. If you're successful, you then need to separate it from the pack. This is the trickiest bit as less than ideal pack members will often fight ruthlessly to "protect" your target.

But even the most successful outings are not without risk. On several occasions I found myself entangled in a wrestling match for hours. But there lies the fruit of the hunt...

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ“…︎ May 28 2019
🚨︎ report
Combined my first 2 joke sets into 1. Enjoy!

I will now take suggestions on how to be more sensitive to deaf people. I'm all ears!

  1. As a ventroliquist, I made one of my dummies sing a song by the GoGos. I'm not going to tell you how I did it. My lips are sealed!
  2. Im the only council member against the construction of the beach. Im going against the grain!
  3. Why did God make me a conjoined twin? Im beside myself!
  4. I put aluminum on a villain's mind control devices. I foiled his plan!
  5. Even though I'm scared of heights, I still go skydiving with this girl I like. Im falling for her!
  6. My shoelace company collapsed. I couldn't make ends meet!
  7. I like using misdirection in my jokes to make people laugh. Or do I?
  8. I won my 17th straight Halloween costume contest dressed as a hotdog. I'm on a roll!
  9. I won my 17th straight Halloween costume contest dressed as a nerd. I'm honor roll!
  10. The answer to this question, "Who's the president of the United States?" is a no-brainer.
  11. I finished a race the other day. I won 'cause I killed all the Kenyans!
  12. I don't know how to wear a wig. At least not off the top of my head.
  13. I went grocery shopping at Harris Teeter for a 50% off everything sale. I went in for a carrot and came out with a half, which is why I now shop at Whole Foods!
  14. If youre being attacked by zombies, just throw a party! Nobody wants to kill the life of the party!
  15. I used to date a girl, who still uses a nightlight. What a turn-off!
πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ADAToTheMoon
πŸ“…︎ Dec 10 2018
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the quadratic invasion?

Don't worry, their efforts were foiled.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/changhaobyu
πŸ“…︎ Aug 25 2019
🚨︎ report
I wrote my strategy for dealing with a specific set of circumstances in a notebook, but my friend wrapped it in aluminium paper.

He foiled my plan.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AlRedux
πŸ“…︎ Mar 03 2019
🚨︎ report
What's the difference between a dirty bus stop and a lobster with breast implants?

One's a crusty bus station and the other is a busty crustacean.

πŸ‘︎ 38
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JDogg_of_RS
πŸ“…︎ Sep 18 2016
🚨︎ report
The story of Kenneth Lamar Noid

The following story is true.

Perhaps you have heard of The Noid. He was a character created by Domino's Pizza to act as a villain who would attempt to make your pizza taste crappy due to lack of freshness. Thankfully, according to Domino's, The Noid could easily be foiled by their 30 minute delivery guarantee.

On January 30, 1989, a man by the name of Kenneth Lamar Noid took the creation of the little guy as a personal attack on his character. Not one to take such a slight lying down, Mr. Noid took a Domino's location in Atlanta hostage, forcing them to make a special pizza and salad against their will. His demands included $100,000, getaway transportation, and a copy of the hit science fiction novel, "The Widow's Son".

Eventually, Mr. Noid surrendered to the police. After the incident, when reached for comment about Mr. Noid, Police Chief Reed Miller was quoted as saying, "He's paranoid."

Thank you for your time.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/salty904
πŸ“…︎ Aug 30 2018
🚨︎ report
What happens when you eat aluminum foil?

You sheet metal.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Link_s09
πŸ“…︎ Dec 28 2019
🚨︎ report
What happens when you eat aluminum foil?

You sheet metal

πŸ‘︎ 33
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πŸ‘€︎ u/WJ_Stedback
πŸ“…︎ Aug 14 2019
🚨︎ report
What happens when you eat Aluminium foil?

You sheet metal.

πŸ‘︎ 109
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Warsong53
πŸ“…︎ May 13 2019
🚨︎ report
What happens when you eat aluminum foil?

You sheet metal.

πŸ‘︎ 39
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RageMonster17
πŸ“…︎ Dec 17 2018
🚨︎ report
What happens when you eat a roll of aluminum foil?

You sheet metal.

πŸ‘︎ 37
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bigbucsnowhammies
πŸ“…︎ Mar 01 2019
🚨︎ report
what happens when you eat aluminum foil?

you sheet metal.

πŸ‘︎ 29
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πŸ‘€︎ u/deadmaanposting
πŸ“…︎ May 08 2019
🚨︎ report
What happens when you eat aluminium foil?

You sheet metal.

πŸ‘︎ 17
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jan 05 2019
🚨︎ report
What happens when you eat aluminium foil?

You sheet metal

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Baron_Lemon
πŸ“…︎ May 11 2019
🚨︎ report
What happens when you eat aluminium foil?

You sheet metal

πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Dadushka008
πŸ“…︎ Apr 22 2018
🚨︎ report
What's happens when you eat aluminum foil?

You sheet metal

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/santafesmike
πŸ“…︎ Feb 28 2019
🚨︎ report
What happens after you eat aluminum?

You sheet metal

πŸ‘︎ 67
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VolsungtheGreen
πŸ“…︎ Jun 27 2019
🚨︎ report
What happens when you eat a ball of aluminum foil?

You sheet metal

πŸ‘︎ 32
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Nicolaskg
πŸ“…︎ Apr 18 2018
🚨︎ report

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