What do you call a Psychic Dwarf that recently escapes from a federal prison?

A small medium at large!

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πŸ“…︎ Jul 18 2020
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What is Roger Federer’s favorite time of day?

About Ten-ish

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πŸ‘€︎ u/indebut96
πŸ“…︎ Jun 04 2020
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My daughter asked me where I wanted to work. I said "The Federal Reserve."

She asked "Why?". I said "I want to make money."

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πŸ“…︎ Sep 15 2019
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What’s Roger Federer’s favourite time of day?

Ten’ish πŸ€¦πŸ»β€β™‚οΈ

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Gissane
πŸ“…︎ Oct 10 2019
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Cattle Farmers respond to Federal Agents burning marijuana fields next door.

"In these troubled times, the steaks have never been higher."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Krumm
πŸ“…︎ Apr 09 2019
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What happens when Roger Federer gets a fault?

the Federeral Reserve

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dd0sed
πŸ“…︎ Jul 15 2019
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As a swiss tennis player, do you think Roger Federer is a fan of...

Net neutrality

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MrRou
πŸ“…︎ Jan 24 2019
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Despite what the Federal Government claims, there are actually only two Food Groups:
  1. Foods I will eat.
  2. Foods I won't eat.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/slowshot
πŸ“…︎ Dec 15 2018
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for the 4th of july, here's a little known america fact: did you know that as the national bird, there’s a whole list of things that you can’t do to an eagle under federal law?

obviously you can't kill one, but you also can't relocate one from where it's living, cause an eagle nest to come to any harm, and the oddest part, as i'm not sure how they'd even track this, is there's even a bit in the law about infecting them with any communicable diseases?

but i suppose there's really no way around that being ill eagle

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πŸ“…︎ Jul 04 2018
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What time does Roger Federer get to the court?

Tenish!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/delosho
πŸ“…︎ May 05 2018
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What time does Roger Federer go to bed?

Tennish.

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πŸ“…︎ Apr 08 2018
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Took a tour of the Federal Reserve the other day.

The tour guid told an offensive joke about pesos, so I started to leave. He said "stop that was not what I mint"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/buckeyespud
πŸ“…︎ Jul 30 2018
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What did John McEnroe say when he got to the smallest and westernmost of Canada's three federal territories?

Yukon't be serious!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ultra-saurus
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2017
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Ive de-faced federal currency
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πŸ‘€︎ u/entersamman99
πŸ“…︎ Jul 23 2017
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Two male FBI agents went to dinner and a movie.

It was a federal man date.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/_otterinabox
πŸ“…︎ Aug 14 2019
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Roger Federer is a total dad.

https://i.imgur.com/xcCcI.jpg

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bagz118
πŸ“…︎ Oct 22 2015
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What do you do when the federal reserve acts negligently?

Sudafed.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/paul2520
πŸ“…︎ Apr 13 2015
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Roger Federer and Ron Paul are playing tennis

Roger Federer and Ron Paul are playing tennis. The set is close and Federer has serve. His first delivery sailed wide, but his second serve clipped the net and just barely landed on the line. The umpire called a let.

Ron Paul started arguing with the chair ump, he was positive that the serve was out, resulting in a double fault.

Needless to say, Ron Paul is vehemently against the Federer Re-serve.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kevo31415
πŸ“…︎ Mar 20 2013
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Dad jokes galore: Candy company settles with mid-Missouri man over underfilled boxes

A settlement has been reached in one of the sweetest lawsuits ever to be filed in federal court, but details of the payday are under wrappers.

Daryl White Jr. of Belle, Missouri, didn’t sugar coat his anger about paying a dollar apiece for boxes of Mike and Ikes and Hot Tamales that were only two-thirds full. Determined not to be a sucker, he hired counsel and paid the U.S. District Court Western District of Missouri a $400 filing fee to sue Just Born Inc., the candymaker’s parent company, for alleged deceptive advertising and unjust enrichment.

SOURCE

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πŸ‘€︎ u/missourijake
πŸ“…︎ Nov 04 2018
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Why doesn't the Houston basketball team have cheerleaders?

Rocketcheering is a federal crime.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PM_ME_YOUR_PRIORS
πŸ“…︎ May 14 2018
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If Donald Trump and Mike Pence go out to lunch

Is it a federal mandate?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Yoursoulsmate
πŸ“…︎ Nov 22 2017
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My Dad watching a contestant on a quiz show

The quiz show round was to name famous people named 'Roger'. One of the clues was 'Swiss tennis layer who won 17 Grand Slam titles between 2003 and 2012'. The male contestant guessing the names was very camp and when he guessed the name my Dad commented "I bet he'd like to Roger Federer".

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πŸ‘€︎ u/chrisisisms
πŸ“…︎ Jan 07 2016
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My husband and I were making dinner, and I asked him what I should cook the collards in.

He suggested I use "former Chairman of the Federal Reserve, Alan Greens-pan".

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πŸ‘€︎ u/pactrina
πŸ“…︎ Oct 21 2014
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My dad while watching the tennis

Me: Wow, Novak is really dominating Roger here.

Dad: Yes, if he wins it'll truly be a Federer in his cap.

Me: ....

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Luklaus
πŸ“…︎ Jan 28 2016
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A Dad forgets his checkbook

I overhead this today while in line at an electronics store.

Young male cashier: That'll be $14.50

Dad: I'm sorry, I forgot my checkbook. Do you accept Federal Reserve Notes?

Cashier: (-_-)

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πŸ“…︎ Apr 17 2015
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Two male FBI agents went to dinner and a movie.

It was a federal man date.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/_otterinabox
πŸ“…︎ Aug 14 2015
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